I hope you all had a fabulous Monday. I know I did. The day went by pretty fast and I couldn't wait to get home so I could share this next post with you. But I must hurry. The Season 2 Premiere of "The A-List: New York" comes on tonight at 10pm.
Luckily for me though, "Teen Wolf" replays the same new episoode at 11pm. Plus the season is almost over...which saddens me.
Am I the only one that thinks Derek is the sexiest thing ever created next to sushi in bed, after sex?
Anywho, "Teen Wolf" comes on Mondays @ 10pm (EST) on Mondays and "The A-List: New York" comes on Mondays as well, @ 10pm (EST) on Logo. (Check your cable provider for channels and listings.)
Time to get down to business. Here's part two of my TRUE story.
My two best friends that were staying over weren't really awake or paying me any attention, at the time, so I decided to go outside to make my dreams come true. The warrior angel inside my mind told me that in order for me to "fly the nest" (aka metaphor for moving out the house and gaining true independence) I had to give up all my worldly possessions.
(Duckies, I want you to know something. I love all my stuff. My Mom calls me a closet hoarder. I agree with her to a certain degree but I hoard things that hold sentimental value to me. For example, one thing I hoard is birthday cards & Christmas cards that people give me. BUT only if they have a thoughtful personal message in them and/or a cute picture.)
Since the angel told me I had to get rid of my worldly possessions to achieve my goals, I decided to take a walk around my neighborhood. But when I went outside I took a few things with me to leave on stairs to my house, so people walking by could take them. I remember taking my "trophy" that everyone got at my high school prom. But I don't remember what else I left outside.
Oh and did I mention I took a walk around my neighborhood, without any footwear?
I mean Jesus did it, why couldn't I? I didn't realize at the time that Jesus didn't have to worry about stepping in dog shit, broken glass, or other nasty things that we litter the streets with today. (Scratch that, dogs were alive so maybe he did have to worry about dog shit. My bad Jesus.)
Oh, and it gets better.
Before I left my house, I knew that whatever was influencing me was a warrior entity. So guess what I did? I painted my face with my Mom's yellow-glittered eye shadow. I know, what you're thinking. Gabriel, you are a fucking lunatic. But before you throw stones, ask yourself this. Who the fuck wears yellow-glittered eye shadow?
After I painted my face--I circled my eyes with it and put some on & above my cheeks--I headed out for my barefoot stroll around my neighborhood. Luckily it was about 7am so almost everyone on my street was either still sleeping or already left for work.
With my "war paint" on I felt so fierce and unconquerable.
In actuality I was told later that I looked like a clown that just swam about 20 laps in the Dead Sea.
You thought that was it? Oh no, that was only the beginning.
In addition to me being barefoot and looking like a bootleg crackhead, I was looking directly into the Sun and singing to it, with the help of my iPod. Yes, I was looking directly into the Sun. Do you know what happens to your eyes when you look directly into the Sun? You can damage your optics and possibly go blind.
I remember singing "Your Love Is My Drug," "I Hate This Part," "Halo," and "Blah Blah Blah."
So I walked around my neighborhood barefoot and guess where I ended up? A few streets away in the park by my house, swinging on the kid swings...still singing to the Sun!
(Disclaimer: I love swings. If it were okay for adults to be on swings in parks (who don't have children) I'd be on a swing everyday. I love them, especially when I'm under any kind of influence. I just love the feel of the wind in my {imaginary long} hair. I wasn't on the swings because of my mental breakdown. I was on the swing because I looooooove them.)
Anywho, on my way back to my house I saw my mother and she gave me a look that clearly said, "What the fuck are you doing and who are you? You are not Antoine." I walked passed her, still singing aloud and she just kept walking to the train, to get to work.
I also ran into Antoinette and she came up to me and tried talking to me. But the warrior angel inside me didn't want to be interrupted, for worship is a sacred thing. So as Antoinette tried to talk to me my bare feet kept moving and my throat kept singing.
Antoinette took the hint and kept walking to the train, to get to school.
On my walk back home I discovered that the "gifts" (the worldly possessions I left on my front stairs) were still there. I felt defeated.
After seeing this the angel told me that my sacrifice wasn't worthy for what I was demanding: fame, fortune, and happiness. I needed to perform something bigger, something more specific, and something I was great at doing. I thought dancing in my backyard would suffice but the angel told me it wasn't enough. So I grabbed a bottle of Sweet Bitch Bitch wine from the basement fridge and headed to the backyard to perform the ritual.
I took the Bible with me and things that represented the specific achievements I wanted out of life. I took the prom "trophy" (fame), my small remote control Bumblebee from "Transformers" car (a sexy car), my Yoga mat (health), glasses (insight), my wallet (wealth) and my student loan papers (debt-free) with me to the backyard. Well, that's what I remember bringing outside.
The ritual went like this: grab whatever "achievement" I wanted to have & hold it while reciting a random verse from the Bible. Next, take a swig of Sweet Bitch. Then, pick a song on my iPod that I knew the choreography to and dance until the song was over. Repeat until every "achievement" was blessed.
It wasn't until I went upstairs to my house that I realized there was something terribly wrong with me. I approached my best friends, who were finally awake, and told them I was getting closer to God. They knew that I wasn't that religious and knew something was peculiar about my behavior.
I mean, I was wearing yellow-glittered eye shadow. I was breathing like I just did a marathon in under an hour and my speech was slurred. And I was told later that my eyes looked pitch black.
From what I can remember they tried to help me but they weren't really helping me.
They just kept telling me to relax and center myself. They didn't seek help from anyone in the house or decide I needed professional help.
Duckies, I love the two best friends that stayed over and witnessed me going crazy...but if they were in my position I would have gotten them help immediately. Regardless of their attempt at helping me, I tried to listen to them. I even laid on the floor and tried to push this entity out of me...but I wasn't stable or strong enough to beat it.
I finished an entire bottle of red wine, took six pills of ADD medication and I was "possessed" by something so strong that I couldn't think straight.
The real Gabriel, my true self, was pushed back and this entity had taken over completely. I knew exactly what was happening but it was as if I was watching a show. Every sense was enhanced but I couldn't filter anything.
Something else was inside me and things got worse when I tried to stand up.
I nearly fell to the ground and my head felt like I barely survived a stampede.
And I knew what was happening. This "angel" wasn't trying to get me to sacrifice my worldly possessions to reach them.
It was trying to kill me and by the time I realized it, I was already dying.
TO BE CONTINUED!
("The Return of Gabriel Anderson: Part Three will be posted tomorrow night! Stay tuned duckies.)
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