Hello Coporate America

First and foremost...

Happy birthday Kevin Blohm! I didn't want you to sass me so I posted this before anything. I wish you the best 20th birthday ever. Also, what you wrote on your Red Cap evaluation sheet still warms my heart. Love you man! This is your day so rape it. (that was dirty lol)

Hello duckies! Today is such a turbulent Tuesday, turbulent in a good way though. My office phone is ringing off the hook, my inbox keeps getting higher and emails keep appearing every minute. But I'm totally fine with that. I'd rather be busy than bored out of my mind. I did sign up for this, this being Corporate America.

As an intern for HarperCollins I get to see the transformation of submissions: either they're returned to sender or they transform into a beautiful, selling manuscripts. Every day is different. There hasn't been a day where I had to do the exact thing over and over again. Everyone here is so friendly too. Maybe because I'm efficient. Plus, just about everyone here has a BlackBerry, so I fit right in lol.
However, Blackbird--my precious BlackBerry Storm--is disconnected once again.


I went home yesterday and asked Gabriella if her phone was disconnected too and she said no. She proved it by calling my phone from hers! The funny/sad thing about it we're all on a family plan and only my phone is off. It's kind of backwards that my phone is disconnected because I'm the one that uses it most. I actually bring my phone everywhere I go and I'm always out the house. It just makes sense to keep mine on. Gabriella just stays home all day: she can use the house phone lol, it still works.
I'm just so over living at home with my family right now. I live in a four-family house and my grandmother owns it...which means even my landlord knows all my business lol. I have privacy--to an extent--but we all know how nosey family members can get. Right after graduation, I know I'll have a decent paying job and I'll move out and be roomies with Graham (aka--follow him on Twitter--@rjjason). Note to Graham: Save your pennies. I want our starter apartment to go down in the books.

In other news, last night I stumbled upon the movie THE KITE RUNNER. I would always surf through channels and see it playing but I would bypass it. I though it would be lame but it is a masterpiece of a film.

The film focuses on the central character, Amir, and his childhood. Amir is a wealthy boy who has a servant named Hassan. When they were kids Amir betrayed Hassan, something quite devilish duckies. As time passes the Soviet Union invades Afghanistan and Amir and his father flee to America. Years pass and Amir becomes an American-Afghan novelist and later discovers that Amir is murdered...but left an orphaned son, Sorhab. That's all I'll share about the movie. Even though it looks like I gave you the entire synopsis, there's a lot more to the movie.

(UPDATE: My dad just called me and said my phone should be on by the time I get home! Yaaaaaaay!)

Anywho, after THE KITE RUNNER I flicked through the channels and stumbled onto SHOWGIRLS. I'm sure you've seen it before but if you haven't seen SHOWGIRLS, you can borrow my DVD lol.

Some people think it's porn. Some people think it sucks. I love this movie!!! It teaches the vital lesson about the cutthroat industry of show business. The moral of the movie is no one is untouchable: even though you earned the job, it doesn't mean you're guaranteed it forever. Also, when in Vegas hold onto the banister, don't trust sexy singers as parties, and watch out for clear pearls on the stage lol. For those who haven't seen it, beware of nudity. Nipples and bush are on the prowl!

Speaking of nipples, I am growing tired of my moobs (man-boobs). They've been around for years and I'm now fed up with them.

Past boyfriends loved them and even implored me not to work on my chest because they had too much fun with them. (I did have a couple of stray boyfriends lmao) But since I'm single and every gay male seems to be a Greek God nowadays I think it's time to rid myself of them. I'm losing weight--due to working so much and cutting back on eating--but all that does is make them bigger. They look bigger because my stomach is going down and my moobs can do nothing but sag, exaggerating their appearance. I wanted to get surgery but since both my TV and the living room TV died around the same time, the procedure is out of the question for awhile. (We're not cheap when it comes to technology.) Hmmmm, looks like I'm gonna have to hit the gym in my basement. The things I do to keep up with the kids!

Speaking of kids, a few weeks back (as a joke) I ordered the video tour DVD of my school (University of Hartford) for Gabriella. She wants to go to Georgetown, like hardcore, but I wanted her to see my school too. We started watching it and I was so taken aback.

This upcoming Fall commences my Senior year in college: it went by so fast. Where the hell have the years gone?! Watching the "candid" students in the DVD tour made me think about all my memories on campus, my first impressions of my school, how I wanted to transfer within a week of me arriving on campus--only because I didn't want to write an essay lol--and all the friends I've made. I had to hold back tears because I started thinking about graduation...ahhhhhhhhh! University of Hartford is my home away from home and in most cases... I feel like it's my real home. I LOVE YOU UHA!!! Woooohuh! Getting all emotional over here.

Okay duckies, let's get to some Words of Wisdom.

"It is selfish and conflicting to love and hate something truly: it leaves you in a constant state of flux. In order to determine your true feelings about something--or someone--evaluate its pros and cons. Determine this by coming to terms of what would benefit your well-being in the long run."
Okay duckies, as much as I love you I have to go and do some work. (Not to mention it's lunch time and all I had today was a cappuccino.)

I wish you the best of happiness. I love you. Stay true, tuned and glamorous!


Live, love & Lady Gaga,
Gabriel Anderson

A Selfless Star

Hello duckies!
How are you? I hope all is well because life is meant to be beautiful. I am so restless at work. I don't even feel like blogging right now. But you know what duckies?! I have to. I have to run from my inner-demons...

and make this day a productive one.
Remember how I spoke about my Mom and I butting heads recently? I've realized that I was too rash with my judgment. My mother is being indirectly sassy--I may have said this before--because she doesn't know what to do what herself after Gabriella and I leave the house. She came up to me one day and asked "What am I gonna do when you guys leave?" She laughed after saying this but her eyes weren't joking: they had a weight so heavy that if she wanted to cry she wouldn't have had the strength to do so. It's hard to let go of something (more importantly, someone) if they are vital parts of your life. When is a mother's job over? When is the official time to let go of your precious duckies? I don't think she'll ever know...and that's not a bad thing, for Gabriella and I at least. I love you Mommy. I'll always be your little duckie.

Last night my Mom pulled out some ancient photo albums. They were of Gabriella and I when we were babies. I must admit, I was adorable. I'm not saying that because I was that baby years ago. I'm saying it because it's the truth lol.

Love this picture of Gabriella and I. I think she was a few months in this pic.

Look how adorable sassy I was at my birthday party. LOL, I don't know what's going on in this picture but I think I'm sassing someone...maybe the lady with her bare hand on my cake.

Speaking of parties, Graham invited me to come with him to a 90's party this upcoming weekend. Duckies...all I remember about the 90's is the Power Rangers.

I just did some research and the 90's look was so...cluttered and busy: clashing prints were okay, baggy jeans were in, polyester was on the prowl.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm excited for this party, although I have no idea what to wear as of yet. Graham suggested I hit up Salvation Army. Sounds like a good idea but I want my outfit to be crazy chic, not hand-me-down chic.
Maybe something along the lines of this outfit.

I guess I'll have to look at childhood photos and try to mimic the look as best I can.

In other news, Graham posted a link on my FaceBook wall of this artist named Jonte. I've known about Jonte for years now and I'm glad he made a music video for his song "Bitch You Betta." Jonte is a flamboyant performer and his outfits and choreography are insanely urban couture.
I've seen him perform live at Webster Hall during Pride Weekend, some years back and I'll never forget his performance. He's a phenomenal entertainer and I wish I could be as bold as he is talented. He is very flashy and I love it! (I'm sure you'll be seeing more of this five-star diva pretty soon.)

Click here to watch his music video "Bitch You Betta."

SUMMERBOY UPDATE!

I spoke to Nick last night again and the conversation was the polar opposite of the night before last. We actually conversed without me having to drag life from his end of the phone. Our relationship is so weird though. I hate him and I love him, equally.
And as much as I hate him, I love his company and honestly...I can't picture life without him in it. I've tried pushing him away but that doesn't seem to work. He wants me to come to see his apartment in New Haven a.k.a. an excuse for us to be alone, unsupervised and at the mercy of our own control. (I'm totally cool with that lol) I told him I don't wanna go over there but I really want to. He is the only person that has this effect on me. With other boys, I can easily dismiss them and not care if we ever see each other again. With Nick, I am a ball of giggly, frustrated uselessness. I hove him so much lol. Maybe one day he's get over his sexuality issues and maybe one day I'll make up my mind on whether or not I wanna be with him for the rest of my life.
Maybe.

On the topic of Nick, the other night he asked me why do I want to be a celebrity so much? I told him I don't want to be because I already am.

I love life and though I love the glamorous life I don't want my privacy invaded non-stop. Yes, I bare my soul for you duckies on here but I need a break too sometimes: hence me being negligent with posts at times. I can feel fame surging through my body. I love attention and I wouldn't mind the paparazzi. I'd mind the rumors though. Rumors are only fun if you start them.
I'd only want to be a celebrity--scratch that, celebrities are only famous for a period of time--I'd only want to be a star if it were for good things. I wanna be known for helping people, having a lavish lifestyle and inspiring others to live their lives to the fullest. I wouldn't mind being a famous writer too but I would love being in the limelight for being selfless too.

Okay, enough rambling, time for some Words of Wisdom.

"Once you give something attention, it becomes a living thing. Depending on how much attention you give it, it may have an effect on your life. However, since you created this attention it is up to you--no one else--to deal with it. Be cautious as to what you devote yourself to."

Okay duckies, it's time for me to get some lunch and get some more work done.
I wish you the best of happiness. I love you. Stay true and tuned.

Live, love & Lady Gaga,
Gabriel Anderson

Stroller Stampede

Good morning duckies! I hope you're having a gorgeous day today because if you're not...why are you wasting precious moments?! This is your life and you have to be the star: you can't be the supporting actor/actress of your own life!

Anywho, during my early morning commute I was assaulted by a stroller. I was about to enter the train doors and to my right I saw a beautiful little Hispanic baby boy, wearing a SpongeBob baseball cap. He was simply adorable and he seemed to be enjoying his early morning stroller adventure. His parents on the other hand were vile.
His father had a Military buzz cut and was fiercely latching onto today's copy of the New York Post. He looked very stern. (If he were my father, I'd be scared to get him something cheap on Father's Day.) His mother--oh dear--was scary.
She wore this ill-fitting orange see-through butterfly camisole, with floppy denim Capri's and this out-of-this-fcuking-world black and silver skull studded belt. Not to mention it looked like her eyebrows were tattooed on.

They weren't sexy like some posh celebrity's...they were pencil-thin exaggerated and rainbow arched, which made her look even scarier.
As the train doors opened, the father practically darted--with the stroller in front of him--ahead of me, trying to snatch a seat. He started off going to the right, while I went to the left. Suddenly, the father swings the stroller to the left and knocks the back of my right heel with the front left wheel of the stroller, before I could plant my foot for the next step.

I almost fell on this old lady reading a book. However, I didn't think about what to do next, I just reacted. I grabbed onto the closest pole and regained my balance. I let out a heavy sigh and found a seat, far away from the odd couple.
These people looked like they could easily kill me, especially the father with his ex-Military vibes.

But what pissed me off was the train car was practically empty. This strange-looking and act couple nearly sprained my ankle for the sake of getting a seat in a nearly empty train car. If they're that hasty when seats are highly accessible I would hate to be around them during rush hour. (I could only imagine what they would do to me if I picked up the last Joseph & Lyman purple cotton V-Neck sweater at Bloomy's! LOL, that was a good day. I apologize for my randomness. I need to go shopping duckies.)
Other than that, my morning commute ran smoothly.

Speaking of smooth, I can't wait to get a haircut today. I can't remember the last time I got a haircut to be honest. OMG, I think it was in April...I got my last haircut in April. If you've seen me for the past few months, I've collected a healthy amount of growth. Honestly, I think I look like a Chia Pet.

Even though I love how soft my hair is when it grows this length, I don't miss the heat it collects in the summer lol. It's incredibly curly--no, I don't have nappy hair, ask Rockstar lol--and it's irksome to have to brush and comb it before I leave the house everyday.

OH, I have some awesome news!
Yesterday I realized this holiday weekend is going to be insane. Gabriella's birthday is this Sunday and I'm proud to say she parties like her older brother.
On Friday we're going to this amazing water park in the Poconos, Camel Beach.

Then on Saturday she and I are going Shark Cage Diving at this aquarium in Long Island
and then she's having friends sleepover to play Wii, laugh, party, and BBQ in the backyard.
She's going to be fifteen! Like wtf? I remember when she used to race around the house in her walker like it was yesterday.

In other news, last night I stumbled upon two phenomenal movies accidentally: "Hot Rod" and "The Nanny Diaries."

It came on TV around 10pm last night and I could not compose myself. When it was shown in theaters, the previews turned me off from the movie...and I regret that they did. If you like the digital shorts Andy Samberg creates on SNL then you're going to love this film. He is a comic mastermind. I'm definitely getting it on DVD!


"The Nanny Diaries" is a precious film and Scarlett Johansson does an amazing job in portraying her post-undergrad character. This film teaches its viewers a great lesson: never sell yourself short regardless of the circumstance. I would definitely watch this film again if it were to pop-up on cable. However, it's one of those touching movies that you wouldn't want to spend DVD money on. (No offense Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus.)

Enough of that, let's get to some "Words of Wisdom."

"Never be embarrassed of yourself. Embarrassment is an emotional trap. It harbors within self-doubt and leads you to believe you're inadequate. Life is an unpredictable ball of adventure so don't beat yourself up when things get rough. Life life on purpose and rid yourself of shame."

Okay duckies, I don't know how but I am incredibly swamped at work today...

hence the super-short posting today.

I wish you the best of happiness this weekend. Happy Thursday! I love you. Stay true and tuned.

Live, love & Lady Gaga,
Gabriel Anderson

Time to get Dirty

(THIS POST IS MORE GRAPHIC THAN USUAL...TASTEFUL, BUT GRAPHIC NONETHELESS. I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE.)

Duckies...OMG! I have some bad news. I didn't blog last night because I got a tearful call from Mommy. Gabriella's class raised a lot of money for this charity and were rewarded with a trip to Brazil. We were proud of her so we let her go, since she can BBM us and stuff.
Anywho, Mommy called me--crying--telling me Gabriella was attacked by a tiger!



Gabriella survived though; she was airlifted to a nearby hospital. Her vitals are stabilized and she's in intensive care. But I can't stop tearing up...because I am sooooooo kidding.


HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!
(That was good right?)

Anywho, I want to get dirty in this post. I've been getting some sass updates from some duckies and they want me to share it with you today.

Yesterday a duckie told me that he is tired of mens' restrooms. I asked him why and he told me that every bathroom he's used on campus has boogers above the urinals!



Duckies, come on?! Why can't you blow your noses like everyone else? It really isn't that hard. What you do is get a tissue and blow your green cousins onto it and Baklahdah! Simple, easy, done!

In other news I've noticed that a lot of people have cold sores on campus.

I've never had a cold sore and I won't because I take certain precautions. They go as follows:

1) Never share drinks with ANYONE! (If you do find their lip print on the glass and drink on the exact opposite of the mark. Or if its a small lip--like a Snapple or Sprite bottle-- don't put your lips on the bottle; elevate the bottle and pour. This doesn't work for cans.)
2) Don't kiss anyone with a cold sore. (Duh!)
3) When you wash your face, scrub your lips too. (Lips are extensions of your mouth. The mouth is the 2nd dirtiest thing humans have.)
4) Use medicated lip balm/chapstick/ointment.

Woooohuh! Sorry duckies, I've been witnessing these things and it's time to clean house!

Yaaay!

Speaking of happiness, let's get to some "Words of Wisdom."

"The immediate events that happen in our lives are heavily influenced by the thoughts we focus on. If you think of unfortunate events, negative things will corner you. If you think positive thoughts everything will be sunshine and rainbows, even when there's a thunderstorm. Suffocate yourself with positive thoughts and you'll breathe positivity."

Duckies, I am obsessed with "Disco Heaven" by Lady Gaga!
Click here to listen to it!

Okay, I have to go about my A-List day. See you duckies later.
I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

It's Gabriel, b$%ch!

Duckies, my my my it's been quite awhile! Toward the end of Spring Break I became so engrossed with the glamour of New York City. But then I saw a sign that told me I need to get back to you. The day before I came back to school Elle Fox and I were walking through Central Park for a bit and I saw a glorious sign.

(Taken on Blackbird, my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry Storm)

I was so taken aback. I told Elle I needed to take a picture and she already knew I took on the form of a rogue paparazzi...lol love her.

Coming back onto campus, I've been so stressed out.

I know it's not good but stress gets to everyone at some point in their lives. I even start a new class tomorrow (it's a half-semester course) and I am so excited for it. (Rockstar is in it too! By the way check out his blog: http://solidrockstarstatus.blogspot.com/, become a follower of his blog too!)

Anywho, I felt like Britney pre-"Gimme More" for a couple weeks.

My life was in shambles: stress was eating me alive. Luckily, as we speak (and as I blog) I am blooming into Britney post-"Circus".

(I will be in this state of mind when I wake in the morning.)

Oh, I forget to tell you I saw "I Love You Man" on my last day in New York.

Gabriella, Ingrid (our aunt) and I saw it together and we could not stop laughing. Paul Rudd and Jason Segel are such a phenomenal team! Gabriella and I are still quoting the movie, via text messages and BBM. GO SEE IT DUCKIES!

Speaking of laughter, one of my dear jetsetting people-friends, Cliff Morris, sent me a video from an A-List summer gathering I hosted in my backyard. Cliff sent it to me a couple hours ago and I told him I had to post it on here.

I have no idea what was said before he started filming but I know we all started laughing even more because of the way I tried to compose myself afterwards lol. Gabriella and I are a mess: I was even sweating from laughing so hard. Check it out!

Anywho, let me give you want you want. Duckies, take these "Words of Wisdom."

"In order to maintain success and happiness you must find a balance between work and play. Of course this is easier said then done; make sure you know your limits and are able to reserve time for leisure. Work is fine and fun is just as important: make sure to apply moderation to both."

Okay duckies, I need to do some reading (yes, I'm a night owl) before I head to bed.


I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true duckies.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

Wake-up and sass the city

Hello duckies. It's quite divine being home, I couldn't have asked for a better vacation. Today I was awakened by a BBM, from Mommy, asking which restaurant I wanted to bless my presence with. Of course I chose Carmine's (my favorite restaurant in the world. I just found out that there's one in the Bahamas; Pete go there!) but I was overruled by Gabriella, Ronald and Mommy. Instead we went to Saigon Grill,

which is divine in its own right. The meals are inexpensive and the food is marvelous; sometimes my taste buds can't control themselves when I'm there. I'm usually very talkative at restaurants but when I'm at Saigon Grill I hone in on my meal.

But before diving into our delicious meals Gabriella and I endured a journey, to say the least. We had to take a train and then a bus to meet our parents downtown. And like any NYC bus it was crowded, so crowded that the guy standing next to Gabriella (unintentionally) had his crotch near her face.

Gabriella BBMed me, saying: "OMG, I have lost my personal space to a crotch." Hilarious. The guy was on his iPhone, oblivious to Gabriella. I was watching him to see if he was a pervert...but this guy was too busy playing games on his iPhone; he was a typical New Yorker.

Anywho, after dinner we stopped by Dunkin' Donuts to get our daily caffeine fix and then (because Gabriella likes watching it on the big-screen HD-TV in the living room) Mommy, Gabriella & I watched "Gossip Girl."

I don't really follow the series but whenever its on I am so engrossed in the characters' A-List quarrels. Last night's episode was very enticing but due to Saigon Grill, Mommy and I fell asleep on the couch, as Gabriella continued watching with the company of our cuddling bodies.

After realizing I was falling asleep I went to my room to take a nap. Now I'm up and awake. I'm watching "Death Sentence" starring Kevin Bacon...

and it's so bada$$. I think I may have discussed my feelings about this particular film in the past (who knows?) but every time I see it, I'm fearless. It makes me wanna kick every scumbag's a$$. Wooohuh!

Okay, before I go AWOL, here are some "Words of Wisdom."

"Choose wisely when selecting your company; they have more of an effect on you than you think. If your company uses and drains your essence there won't be anything useful left for yourself."

"Death Sentence" is almost over and the ending is my favorite part.

I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true duckies.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Sass Models

Hey there duckies. I'm finally home and it's so good to be here. But the journey here wasn't as pleasant as you think.

Thank God Melissa was still on campus. She's such an angel, by the way; she gave me a ride home and offered me a ride to go back when we have to return after break. (Ugh, love you!)

Our car ride was crazy though.

We almost ran over a dead deer! (Melissa freaked out...had to calm this duckie down.)

This old guy was holding up traffic and whenever someone went around him (including us) he flipped them off.

But the best part of the ride was when we got lost and found a Wal-Mart, where I was able to get "Role Models" on DVD. Yaaaay!

(Thanks for everything Melissa!)

I forgot to tell you that I surprised my family by coming home today. They had no idea I was on my way home. And when I got a BBM request from Gabriella (and saw a BlackBerry I'd never seen before, in her hands) I was shocked!

Not only is Gabriella becoming as fantabulous as her big brother, she has a Facebook and now she has a Blackberry. Wow!

Speaking of "wow," before I got home my Dad called me and said:

"You went over 100 minutes. If you do this again, I'm cutting off your BlackBerry and you're getting a regular phone."

So for future reference, duckies unless you're my producer, assistant, publicist, Mom or Dad you only will be getting a text, BBM and/or email before 9pm. (I love you...but I love my BlackBerry more...lol jk...or am I? lol)

In other news, I was just watching "The Last Supper," staring Cameron Diaz and Ron Eldard...

and from the impression of the opening credits I thought it was going to be a bullshit film. To my amazement, I couldn't keep my eyes off the TV. It has such twists and it never let's you go until the very end...which is left to your interpretation.

Okay duckies, enough of me, let's get to you; here are some "Words of Wisdom."

"Being an individual demands more than conforming to a group. Though it may seem hard to branch out into unfamiliar territory, approval of one's actions isn't needed; acceptance is only a necessity."

Okay duckies, I'm off to bed. I want to be well-rested for my week of relaxation.

I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true (and be safe) duckies.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson