Moving On

Amigos y patos! (Hello friends and duckies!)
I don't know why I keep greeting people in Spanish lately.  Maybe it's because I'm just trying to attract more Hispanic Adonises in my life.

(This dude could tie me to his bed for three days and not feed me if he'd marry me afterwards LOL.)

Anyway, I have some amazing news my lovely duckies: I GOT THE JOB!!!  I will be a Bridal Registry Consultant at Bed Bath & Beyond in April!

(Actually, orientation begins for me on March 18th--for two weeks--so I won't actually be working really until April...I think.)

But I got the job duckies! I'm so proud of myself.  I cannot wait to start.  This is going to sound like the gayest thing--but what's gayer than being a bridal registry consultant, right? LOL. 

I think that weddings and love are so magical.  I've only been to ONE wedding in my adult life and it was my father's.  He was finally getting married to his wife in 2010 and I thought people that cried at weddings were fools.  But somehow I became one of those "fools."  

At first I thought it was the fact that it was a beautiful wedding: it was held at the Riu Resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica.  Not only was it on the resort, it was on one of the most fucking beautiful beaches I've ever seen and we legit sat on chairs, in the sand.  However, I realized it wasn't all the aesthetics of the wedding that made it beautiful.  This was one of those moments were I actually saw my father chocked up and I saw that he really loved his wife.  They were both crying, my father's tears merged with his sweat so no one really knew but my sister and I, and it touched me.  Behind my big black Diesel sunglasses my eyes were pouring my emotions onto my shirt.  It was so beautiful.  With this job I won't be directly involved in the wedding planning aspect of their lives but to be a part of a couple's love and new life together is a gift in itself.

 In other news, my current room is currently under construction...I literally mean this because like a sixth of my carpet has been ripped up and cut out for sub-floor repairs.  I'm supposed to be remodeling my room: new flooring, new color schemes, different furniture...the works.  However, now that I'm telling everyone--my family--that I'm making an effort to move out by my 25th birthday (August 19th, if you were wondering) my mom is like "Well, since you're moving out in close to five months maybe we shouldn't do it."

I've been wanting my room remodeled for the longest.  Plus, I'm pretty envious of my mother's and sister's rooms, which were remodeled within the past few months.  And might I add, I helped with the physical labor.

(My sister's new and beautifully adorned room.)

(My mother's superior and decorative room.)

(My hot-ass mess of a room.)

Okay, I'm totally joking.  That last picture isn't my room...but it needs some serious work.  Granted I understand why my mother saying what's the point in remodeling my room at the moment if I intend on flying the coup in August.  But what if I don't reach my goal because I realize that my job isn't enough to live on my own yet and I need until January to move out?  It would be awesome to move out on my 25th birthday, that would be the best present ever, but if it doesn't happen I won't be disappointed.  I know it will happen eventually.  Plus, I don't think I want a roommate if I move out.  I like my own space and sometimes I like being alone.

Oh my God, Words of Wisdom coming at ya early!

"A goal is merely an idea that one sets to attain.  If a time limit is put on a goal this puts more pressure on the ability to succeed.  Don't be dismayed if your goal isn't accomplished when you thought it would be reached.  The only thing you should give up on is giving up."

Speaking of a goal, I know you guys may have read that I'm open to start a new relationship.  Well do you guys remember Nick?  Nick was supposedly the "love of my life."  He's a nice guy.  The sex between us is electrifying.  I enjoy his company, for the most part.  And he went to Yale for grad school.  Anyway, I still talk to Nick to this very day, even though we haven't been together in years.  But I know I shouldn't talk to him anymore.  I need to move on so I can embrace the future.  He moved down south and plays with my emotions so eloquently, to the point where I don't know they're being manipulated.

But do you know why I put up with it?  Nick was the first boyfriend that loved me for me.  He loved my dramatic acts: sometimes I'd get mad at him and get out of his car, while he was driving.

But what really made me fall for him was that he made me feel beautiful when I was naked.  

He would make me strip and he would just stare at me and smile, telling me how beautiful I was.  He still tells me this to this day...and I know he's not lying.  I am beautiful!

I've always been self-conscious about my weight & body image and to have someone finally accept me for me, and I mean all of me, is the greatest thing you can get.  It's worth more than all the diamonds in the world.

However, I can't be with Nick for a few reasons.

1) I know for a fact that he'd never marry a man.  His family is super religious and I'm pretty sure they don't even know that he has sexual relations with men.

2) He lives down south.  Come on! I'm not a Skype/long-distance kind of guy.

3) He hasn't come to terms with his sexuality, in terms of accepting that he's gay.  He says he's bisexual but I know for a fact that he hasn't been with a woman in eons...but what do I know.

I can't be with someone who can't be with me in front of everyone.  I'm not asking to hold hands everywhere or for you to kiss me in front of your friends.  I just want to know that I'm not your dirty little secret.  I don't want part-time love.  The sad part is I'll always love him...but I love me more and I deserve better.

Speaking of deserving better, I finally watched "The Secret: The Movie."  I've read the book a couple times but the film is so much more effective.  It inspired me to think positive and get out of my rut.  I wrote a mantra that I recite at least once a day to keep me on track and to express my gratitude to the universe.  Here is it below:

I AM GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING THE UNIVERSE HAS BESTOWED UPON ME.  I AM THANKFUL FOR MY LOVING FAMILY.  I AM THANKFUL FOR MY EDUCATION.  I AM THANKFUL FOR MY HEALTH.  I AM THANKFUL FOR MY BEAUTY.  I AM THANKFUL FOR MY PRIVILEDGED LIFE.  I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR BEING ABLE TO WAKE UP EVERYDAY AND HAVE A CHOICE IN WHAT I CAN DO.

THANK YOU UNIVERSE.

I AM HAPPY TO BE HAPPY. I LOVE THAT I AM LOVED. I AM GREATFUL THAT I AM A GREAT PERSON. I HOPE THAT OTHERS CAN EXPERINCE THE JOY I HAVE EXPERIENCED UP UNTIL THIS MOMENT AND THE JOY I WILL EXPERINCE.

THANK YOU UNIVERSE.

I CAN DO ANYTHING. I AM ORIGINAL. I AM AN AMAZING WRITER. I WILL BE RECOGNIZED BY THE WORLD BY MY POSITIVE LIFE AND I WILL CHANGE MINDS FOR THE BETTER. I WILL CHANGE MY LIFE TODAY AND MAKE IT BETTER THAN YESTERDAY. I AM AS THANKFUL FOR YESTERDAY AS I AM FOR TODAY AND I AM THANKFUL FOR WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING. MY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. MY LIFE IS FULL OF HAPPINESS. I WILL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO BE HAPPY EVERYDAY. I WILL CREATE HAPPINESS AND EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE EVERYDAY.

THANK YOU UNIVERSE.

I COME TO YOU TODAY TO ASK YOU FOR NEW THINGS. I ASK FOR THE ABILITY TO MOVE OUT OF MY FAMILY’S HOME BY MY 25^TH BIRTHDAY. I ASK FOR A RELIABLE ROOMATE. I ASK FOR A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A MALE SOULMATE THAT MAKES ME AS HAPPY AS I MAKE MYSELF. I ASK FOR A SUCCESSFUL WRITING CAREER. I ASK FOR AN A-LIST ACTING CAREER. I ASK FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO RECORD AN ALBUM…AND FOR IT TO SELL MORE COPIES THAN I EXPECT.

THANK YOU UNIVERSE.

THANK YOU UNIVERSE.

THANK YOU UNIVERSE.

Oh! The weirdest thing happened to me this weekend.  This is the second time this has happened to me late at night, in this one store.  I was ordering a sandwich at like 2AM because I was a little tipsy and hungry and this man approaches me.  I was jamming to some tunes on my iPhone and I was wearing my Ray-Bans, as usual, but this didn't stop him from coming up to talk to me.  He was an older gentleman: African-American, early 40s, nice-looking, and had a "street" demeanor.

I see his mouth moving and he's looking directly at me, so I pause my music.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"How's your night going, man?"

"It's good."

"Alright, good to hear. Enjoy it," he says, as he tries to give me one of those complicated handshakes.

"Oh so this is what we're doing tonight?" I say jokingly, because I have no idea what kind of handshake he is trying to do.  I'm always clueless when it comes to those "street" handshakes.  (Please don't take my "Black card" away.)

"I know you're feeling a little fruity tonight," he says, smiling and giving me "the look." (You know, the "come hither look.")

"Excuse me?"

"You're a human being.  I don't judge.  Whatever you prefer is what you prefer.  Just do it right.  You understand?"

I was completely thrown off-guard.  This guy just called me out on being gay.  Was he trying to "out" me in front of everyone with malicious intent?

To disregard his comment I went up to the store counter and asked if my sandwich was ready and it was, thank God...but this didn't stop the guy.

"How are you getting home?" he asks.

And that's when I knew he was trying to "holla" at me.

"Oh, I'm walking home. I'll be fine," I respond.

"Is anyone coming to get you.  It's not safe this time of night."

"Trust me. I'm only a few blocks away," I say, smiling.

"Okay. Well be safe.  And get out of here," he says laughing.

That wasn't the first time someone tried to pick me up at the store by my train station late at night.  The other time this other guy--who was hideous--straight-up asked me if I had a boyfriend.  I was mortified and I ran to the car.  My mom was in the driver's seat and when she saw me rush into the car and saw this guy coming out the store behind me, still trying to talk to me, she was like:

"Who is that guy?"

"Just drive," I said.

"What?"

"Please," I looked at her. "Just drive, now."

She started laughing and asked, "That guy hit on you in there, didn't he?"

"Yup. And I definitely wasn't going home with him," I said.

"Well," she pauses, "when you got it, you got it."

It took me awhile to realize that she was referring to my good looks.  I blushed nearly the entire ride home.

Well it only seems right that I give you a new WORD OF THE WEEK.

This WORD OF THE WEEK is prettyful.

Prettyful (pronounced prit-tee-full): the state of being so pretty and beautiful that one cannot decide which to call you; utterly desirable.

Example: "Beyonce is the Queen of the world.  She runs it and she's remarkably prettyful.

(I didn't want to write on the picture.  It would desecrate the prettyfulness of the picture.)

I think it's about time for me to get out of this chair because my ass hurts--not from what you think you dirty little duckies--and I want you all to enjoy the rest of your Monday, and of course your week.

OH AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALICIA!!!!

Here's a little snippet of me drunk-singing in the train station this past weekend. Enjoy.

See you next Monday!

I love you for reading.

-Gabriel Anderson

I Am...Gabriel Fierce

Well hello beautiful. Today was such a glorious day. It was my last day of work of 2008, (I'll be back Jan 5th). However, the train rides back and forth were experiences in themselves. It was around 8:15am.
I was on my way to work and a lady comes onto the train and sits down right next to me. Everything is fine. She looks nice and she was reading a book. But as soon as I took a deep breath...I could smell alcohol on her. Not like on her breath but like coming from her pores. This lady was beyond drunk. She seemed functional but it smelled like I was sitting next to Amy Winehouse.

Luckily my stop was close enough that I wouldn't be drunk from inhalation. But the train ride back was even more of an experience.

I was reading Beyonce's interview (I'll get into details a bit later) and the doors open to the 125th Street station, and this lady rushes in and plops beside me. (Why do I attract crazy NYC women? Someone please tell me before I'm fondled. Anyway...) She wakens me from my Beyonce trance but its okay; rush hour is brutal and expected. I move on with my life and my eyes find the sentence they leaped from. Minutes pass by and I'm almost done with the article when the lady yawns...in my direction. And get this...she doesn't even cover her mouth.


She looked like she was trying to swallow a small child.

On top of that, her breath smelled like a mixture of hot dog water and fresh $hit. Fortunately, Beyonce was there to console me.

Speaking of Beyonce, I was proud of her article in "Giant." Her mother Tina (I found out from my friend Monica that her real name is Celestine) is hilarious. She was talking about how she would protect Beyonce when she was younger and if she got mad she would go into this "mama-bear/fight mode." When I read that quote I laughed out loud on the train. I couldn't contain myself...as I couldn't let the magazine hold a beautiful picture of Beyonce. The picture is now on the cork board, in my office at HarperCollins. My office is now complete lol.
Also Beyonce released two new videos:


Halo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93fRPXRkawc&feature=channel_page


and


Diva
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB--OZpf3iU&feature=channel_page


What I appreciate about her artistry is that she can come out with something beautiful and new, without making a flop. And for all those Beyonce/Sasha protesters...f%ck you. Like Beyonce, I like trying new things but my ex Nick is back in my life. Even though I do have strong feelings for him, I have to be realistic. We're only going to be this close to each other until mid-January because that's when break ends and where reality sets in. I can't function on a long-distance relationship. I'm sorry. But having Nick around right now (he knows exactly how I feel) is just like having a teddy bear you know will always be there for you, as you will for it.


With that being said, let's get to the quote of the day for Dec 24th:


"Be realistic when setting goals because reality is relentless. However, this should not hinder you from believing in yourself. Only set goals you are willing to fully commit to."


It's getting late and I still have some business to tend to. I can't f$%king believe it's Christmas Eve right now! I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true kids.


Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

New York: Slippery When Wet

Hey there good-looking.  I know all is well because you're a beautiful person that lives their life to the fullest.  Today was a relaxed day but before I got to work this crazy construction man was so obnoxious.  All of us business folk of New York were all walking to our offices, Starkbucks in hand (of course) and this crazy construction guy gets out of his crane and screams...for no reason.  Being New Yorkers we all turned around but didn't stop walking.  We know the deal lol.

Other than that I sent out books to two authors and an agent.  Other than that I did some online shopping (during my lunch break) and I started reading another submission.  Oh!  I also sat in an editorial meeting for this comic conference HarperCollins is hosting in February.  They had Mrs. Fields cookies in the meeting.   (OMG)  I know that was very fat of me to mention the had Mrs. Fields cookies there but (OMG) when I ate them...I swear an angel was giving me a blowjob.  Pretty much after that I was free to go home since hardly anyone was in the office.

I was let out around 3:45pm...mind you I set my appointment with Apple at 6:10pm.  Luckily, I believed an opening would be there and (BAM!) there was.  (What really happened was I spoke to this super-hot clerk and they helped me.  Flirting gets you a long way.)  When I left Apple God decided to send ice darts directly to my face (maybe because of that angel giving me a blowjob in the meeting).  Plus it was so slushy and icy.  Thank God I wore my Uggs!  I couldn't get my umbrella open for like 10 minutes; where the f$%k was Rihanna?  She told me we could share.

Anyway on my way home there was this crazy lady on the train that kept making these hand movements like she was the umpire for the Yankees.  I made sure not to make eye contact with her when she was signaling the pitcher aka her demon lol. 

My dad called me today and asked me if I wanted money, the Blackberry Storm or some other phone for Christmas.  Of course I said the Blackberry Storm.

Look at how beautiful it is!!!

My life needs it.  I have my own frikkin office.  (It makes me happy just saying it.)  Office!  Office, office, ooooooffice! (I'm going to need new pants lol.) 

Oh! Oh! Oh!  I forgot to shout out my friend Melanie Mirror on here.  (Hey Melanie!)

Anywho, let's get to the quote of the day, shall we?  Dec 20th's quote goes as follows:

"Lying about something simple transforms the simple task into a horrible feat.  The truth puts your mind at ease and it doesn't beg for compensation, like a lie.  Never rely on a lie."

With that being said,  I'm going to go to bed to now.  I wish you all the best of happiness.  Stay true kids.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Question 35 (Sass Update #5)

Okay I have a couple bones to pick with the world today.  I hope you all are doing well (by the way) because I'm about to rip the world a new one.  

A few days ago two of my friends (Sarah and Larissa) and I planned to go Christmas shopping on (this past) Friday, Dec 5th.  I was excited.  I love shopping, as you may already know!  So Friday comes along and I happen to get to our meeting place a little early.  It so happens that our meeting place (where our school market is housed) was hosting the Red Cross' Blood Drive.  I texted my friends: "I want to donate blood before we go.  It's for a good cause and I've never done it before." Ergo, I go and it looks like a different world at the market; there are stretchers with black coverings in the middle of the room, a snack table in the corner, rows of "waiting chairs" in the middle of the room, cornered-off "interview stations" and a desk (next to the main entrance) where two very friendly ladies greeted those coming in.  I let the very friendly ladies know that I'm a walk-in and they greet me whole-heartedly, showing me the way to the "waiting chairs," so I could fill out some paperwork.  Everything is fine and dandy.

Moments later a dude in a crisp, white smock brings me over into one of the "interview stations" to screen me before the blood donation.  He immediately begins asking me questions, back-to-back without many taking breaths....this dude was on a roll.  The questions pretty much invaded my life, asking about drug use and health conditions, which is understandable since my blood would be in someone else shortly.  But sh&t hit the fan real quick.

We get to Question 35 and he asks:

"From 1977 to the present, have you had any form of sexual contact with another male?"

Of course I answer "Yes," being that I'm an honest person.  He looks me dead in the eyes and asks "really?" like he's never seen a man like me before.  I nod my head.  The dude takes a deep breath and says "due to your lifestyle (blah-blah-blah), we cannot take your blood."  I was floored.  He goes into this spiel about how gay men cannot donate blood because of the Red Cross' archaic methods of blood screening.  The proper term he used was "I'm deferred from donation."  (I am pissed off again just thinking about it).  

I find it very insulting that my blood isn't worthy to be donated to helping someone's life.  I'm sorry that I enjoy alternative pleasures.  This is a serious issue and I had no idea Red Cross was so fu%&ed up!  I hate them so much right now.  It is ridiculous that (no offense) lesbians and heterosexuals can donate blood, knowing that they are equally susceptible to catching HIV and AIDS.  Red Cross can suck my deferred d%ck! (I'm over it.)  Excuse me for the language but that's not fair.

Anywho, later in the night I was invited to this party on campus...and apparently everyone else in the world was too.  Tons of people were there and just about everyone was inebriated.  It was awesome though.  Everyone was dancing, drinking and having a great time.  Just about everyone knew their limit, except for this one freshman girl who got the party shut down.  When I say this girl was stupidly-drunk, I mean she was passed out on the lawn, in the freezing cold, totally immobile; she was oblivious to the world.  Her friends are not friends, I'll just say that.  If you're really friends with someone you don't let them get so drunk that they can't even carry themselves home.  

I understand "freshman girl" that you were like "woooo, I'm at an upperclassmen party and I think I'm so cool," but you need to know your limit.  You need to have the decency to take your safety into consideration.  No one wants to babysit you so grow up!  Who in their right mind let's themselves drink so much that they can't even sit upright on a couch?  Get your life together.  Also, to her friends who were at the party (I do not give a bat's wing if you're reading this and are getting offended) you guys really need to look at yourselves in the mirror and ask yourselves "why do I suck at life?"  That is your friend and you just watched her without stepping in to help.  How do you live with yourself?  Be human enough to care for someone else over your "need" to fit in at a party.  You are disgustingly disappointing.

Woooooohuh, I'm sorry.  I really needed to get that off my chest.  

With that being said let's get to the quote of the day, Dec 6th:

"Learn to love yourself because you are the source of your happiness.  Accept everything about yourself because you're beautiful.  When you get to know yourself you will fulfill self-love and you'll then be able to show the world your worth."

This week has been a blast and I'm not going to let the flavor of my blood stop me from being Gabriel.  Don't let the sass get you down.  Stay true kids.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson