Evil Laughter

How's it going my darling duckies? I hope know everything is smashing on your end.  This past week has been so fun that...I can hardly remember it actually LOL.  I guess I had too much fun partying and laughing.

Speaking of laughing, I saw "EVIL DEAD" this past Thursday with my friend Jessie.  I thought I was gonna be scared shitless after seeing it, like how I was after seeing "Insidious," (which still scares me.)*

*(Even while posting this picture and writing on it I can't look at that demon without shaking.  If you wanna be scared, watch "Insidious.")

Anywho, back to what I was saying...oh right!  

"EVIL DEAD" is probably one of the funniest horror movies I've ever seen.  There were times in the movie where I would be laughing so loud and abruptly that I would have been embarrassed...if I hadn't been buzzed/well-and-tipsy at the time.  (I'll go more into that later.)

OMG! I just invented a Word of the Week on the spot.

Well-and-tipsy aka W.A.T. (prononucned whel-aend-tehp-see): intoxicated on a functional level; buzzed; a little drunk

Example: "Mom get off my back.  I only had like four beers.  I'm just well-and-tipsy."

(Okay back to the movie!)

There was this one line in the movie where I couldn't stop laughing for a good four minutes: I'm not exaggerating in the least.  For those who have seen the movie I'm referring to the part where--I won't give away too much detailing for those who haven't seen it but want to--the brother was looking down and talking to his possessed sister.  One of the lines she said to him was hilarious.  There was a point where I couldn't breathe and I was crying because the line was just that funny.  Reciting it aloud, even now, makes me giggle.  I was laughing for so long that people were laughing at me because I couldn't stop laughing.  I seriously had to compose myself in order to pay attention to the rest of the movie.

Even though there are some very scary and jumpy parts in the movie, I found it to be the funniest (serious) horror movie I've ever seen.  I can't wait to get it on DVD.

To rewind a bit, before Jessie and I went to see "EVIL DEAD" she and I went out to get a bite to eat and to get some drinks.  We stopped at this cute Thai and Asian restaurant called Cafetasia, in Greenwich Village for their wonderful happy hour special.  Jessie and I had been there before, but on separate occasions.  Jessie introduced me to her favorite dish: the Crispy Fillet of Flounder.  Oh my sweet baby Jesus in a onesie!

The fish was so fresh that I swear they just caught it right when I ordered the flounder.  It was so much food too that I couldn't even finish it.  And it was only $12!  In addition to our lovely meal, we had a few drinks and we got this thing called a "Rainbow Shot."

Isn't it so pretty?!

Then after dinner we went to watch "EVIL DEAD."  Then we went to Jessie's house, where our friend Tess met us.  We basically hung out and laughed some more.  I tried showing them Louis C.K.'s comedy stand-up special "Oh My God," but the connection to HBO GO was more like HBO-OH-HELL-NO!

The next day, Friday, I went to work and had a fabulous time as usual.  I had my first same-sex couple and it was an absolute honor to help them.  Having the right to marry the one you love, in the face of oppression and ignorance, is a very brave and empowering act.  I wish you both well and I look forward to having you two come back.

That night my school, University of Hartford, was throwing an event at SideBar down in Union Square in the city; which happens to be less than 10 blocks away from my job.  So I went there and saw so many of my dear friends from school...and made some new ones too.  We drank and chatted about our new lives post-Hartford.  

Oh!  While we were at the bar they were about to catch the second suspect in the Boston marathon bombing and when they found him the bar started screaming and applauding.  Then I knew it was chance to start a chant.  So I immediately put my fist in the air and started chanting: USA! USA! USA!  And I don't know how but everyone in the bar joined in and it was so unifying and hysterical.

(I can now scratch "Start a USA chant" off my bucket list.)

Following the alumni event the gay alumni and I went to this bar/club/lounge called Therapy in Hell's Kitchen.    I had never been there but I loved it because I wanted to dance.  I danced so hard, dipped so low, popped it, backed it up, "salsa-ed," lip-synced, and turned their little stage into a showcase for my stellar dance moves.  I asked the DJ to play "Single Ladies" because I was in rare form that night but he didn't.  As a consolation he played "Get Me Bodied" and I killed that, even though it had been years since my last performance. LOL So full of myself.

When leaving I ran into my friend Alex, which was so random but delightful all at once.  We chatted for a bit but then I had to head home because I had to nurse a hangover in the morning before work.

Other than that nothing much happened.  Now I feel like I'm 60 because thanks to being a dancehall queen at Therapy my legs are incredibly sore.  Walking down stairs is like dying every two seconds.  I can't go down stairs without squeezing the life out of the banister.  And when I walk I'm sure it looks like I'm smuggling diamonds up my asshole.

But I think I've said enough.  I believe it's time for some Words of Wisdom.

"Common courtesy is not as common as you think.  A simple 'please' or 'thank you' can actually lift the spirits of many.  Respect is earned but cordiality should be a given.  Smile at a stranger.  Hold a door for someone behind you.  Give credit where it's due.  You never know who's watching and how far a little deed can take you."

Okay my loves I gotta go eat and then take everything out of my room.  A contractor is coming this week and is putting down new flooring in my room, as well as replacing my door and threshold.  So much! Grrrrr LOL.

I hope you have a magical week.

I love you for reading.

Stay classy.  Stay sassy.

-Gabriel Anderson

I Am...Gabriel Fierce

Well hello beautiful. Today was such a glorious day. It was my last day of work of 2008, (I'll be back Jan 5th). However, the train rides back and forth were experiences in themselves. It was around 8:15am.
I was on my way to work and a lady comes onto the train and sits down right next to me. Everything is fine. She looks nice and she was reading a book. But as soon as I took a deep breath...I could smell alcohol on her. Not like on her breath but like coming from her pores. This lady was beyond drunk. She seemed functional but it smelled like I was sitting next to Amy Winehouse.

Luckily my stop was close enough that I wouldn't be drunk from inhalation. But the train ride back was even more of an experience.

I was reading Beyonce's interview (I'll get into details a bit later) and the doors open to the 125th Street station, and this lady rushes in and plops beside me. (Why do I attract crazy NYC women? Someone please tell me before I'm fondled. Anyway...) She wakens me from my Beyonce trance but its okay; rush hour is brutal and expected. I move on with my life and my eyes find the sentence they leaped from. Minutes pass by and I'm almost done with the article when the lady yawns...in my direction. And get this...she doesn't even cover her mouth.


She looked like she was trying to swallow a small child.

On top of that, her breath smelled like a mixture of hot dog water and fresh $hit. Fortunately, Beyonce was there to console me.

Speaking of Beyonce, I was proud of her article in "Giant." Her mother Tina (I found out from my friend Monica that her real name is Celestine) is hilarious. She was talking about how she would protect Beyonce when she was younger and if she got mad she would go into this "mama-bear/fight mode." When I read that quote I laughed out loud on the train. I couldn't contain myself...as I couldn't let the magazine hold a beautiful picture of Beyonce. The picture is now on the cork board, in my office at HarperCollins. My office is now complete lol.
Also Beyonce released two new videos:


Halo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93fRPXRkawc&feature=channel_page


and


Diva
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB--OZpf3iU&feature=channel_page


What I appreciate about her artistry is that she can come out with something beautiful and new, without making a flop. And for all those Beyonce/Sasha protesters...f%ck you. Like Beyonce, I like trying new things but my ex Nick is back in my life. Even though I do have strong feelings for him, I have to be realistic. We're only going to be this close to each other until mid-January because that's when break ends and where reality sets in. I can't function on a long-distance relationship. I'm sorry. But having Nick around right now (he knows exactly how I feel) is just like having a teddy bear you know will always be there for you, as you will for it.


With that being said, let's get to the quote of the day for Dec 24th:


"Be realistic when setting goals because reality is relentless. However, this should not hinder you from believing in yourself. Only set goals you are willing to fully commit to."


It's getting late and I still have some business to tend to. I can't f$%king believe it's Christmas Eve right now! I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true kids.


Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

Question 35 (Sass Update #5)

Okay I have a couple bones to pick with the world today.  I hope you all are doing well (by the way) because I'm about to rip the world a new one.  

A few days ago two of my friends (Sarah and Larissa) and I planned to go Christmas shopping on (this past) Friday, Dec 5th.  I was excited.  I love shopping, as you may already know!  So Friday comes along and I happen to get to our meeting place a little early.  It so happens that our meeting place (where our school market is housed) was hosting the Red Cross' Blood Drive.  I texted my friends: "I want to donate blood before we go.  It's for a good cause and I've never done it before." Ergo, I go and it looks like a different world at the market; there are stretchers with black coverings in the middle of the room, a snack table in the corner, rows of "waiting chairs" in the middle of the room, cornered-off "interview stations" and a desk (next to the main entrance) where two very friendly ladies greeted those coming in.  I let the very friendly ladies know that I'm a walk-in and they greet me whole-heartedly, showing me the way to the "waiting chairs," so I could fill out some paperwork.  Everything is fine and dandy.

Moments later a dude in a crisp, white smock brings me over into one of the "interview stations" to screen me before the blood donation.  He immediately begins asking me questions, back-to-back without many taking breaths....this dude was on a roll.  The questions pretty much invaded my life, asking about drug use and health conditions, which is understandable since my blood would be in someone else shortly.  But sh&t hit the fan real quick.

We get to Question 35 and he asks:

"From 1977 to the present, have you had any form of sexual contact with another male?"

Of course I answer "Yes," being that I'm an honest person.  He looks me dead in the eyes and asks "really?" like he's never seen a man like me before.  I nod my head.  The dude takes a deep breath and says "due to your lifestyle (blah-blah-blah), we cannot take your blood."  I was floored.  He goes into this spiel about how gay men cannot donate blood because of the Red Cross' archaic methods of blood screening.  The proper term he used was "I'm deferred from donation."  (I am pissed off again just thinking about it).  

I find it very insulting that my blood isn't worthy to be donated to helping someone's life.  I'm sorry that I enjoy alternative pleasures.  This is a serious issue and I had no idea Red Cross was so fu%&ed up!  I hate them so much right now.  It is ridiculous that (no offense) lesbians and heterosexuals can donate blood, knowing that they are equally susceptible to catching HIV and AIDS.  Red Cross can suck my deferred d%ck! (I'm over it.)  Excuse me for the language but that's not fair.

Anywho, later in the night I was invited to this party on campus...and apparently everyone else in the world was too.  Tons of people were there and just about everyone was inebriated.  It was awesome though.  Everyone was dancing, drinking and having a great time.  Just about everyone knew their limit, except for this one freshman girl who got the party shut down.  When I say this girl was stupidly-drunk, I mean she was passed out on the lawn, in the freezing cold, totally immobile; she was oblivious to the world.  Her friends are not friends, I'll just say that.  If you're really friends with someone you don't let them get so drunk that they can't even carry themselves home.  

I understand "freshman girl" that you were like "woooo, I'm at an upperclassmen party and I think I'm so cool," but you need to know your limit.  You need to have the decency to take your safety into consideration.  No one wants to babysit you so grow up!  Who in their right mind let's themselves drink so much that they can't even sit upright on a couch?  Get your life together.  Also, to her friends who were at the party (I do not give a bat's wing if you're reading this and are getting offended) you guys really need to look at yourselves in the mirror and ask yourselves "why do I suck at life?"  That is your friend and you just watched her without stepping in to help.  How do you live with yourself?  Be human enough to care for someone else over your "need" to fit in at a party.  You are disgustingly disappointing.

Woooooohuh, I'm sorry.  I really needed to get that off my chest.  

With that being said let's get to the quote of the day, Dec 6th:

"Learn to love yourself because you are the source of your happiness.  Accept everything about yourself because you're beautiful.  When you get to know yourself you will fulfill self-love and you'll then be able to show the world your worth."

This week has been a blast and I'm not going to let the flavor of my blood stop me from being Gabriel.  Don't let the sass get you down.  Stay true kids.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson