"Use 'Em & Lose 'Em"

Salutations my beautiful readers.  I hope you duckies are all doing well because life is just fantastic on this end.  Oh!  Happy Belated Easter/Zombie Jesus Day to you all!

(To all my devout followers who believe in Jesus, I am just joking.  I make jokes.  You'll get over it.)

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I'm attracted to men; however, I don't like them very much.  Yes, I've loved men in the past and have formed some intense and very delightful relationships with them.  But they have never been long-lasting or that entertaining.

I've really been thinking about this as of late and it's starting to make sense.  Maybe I'm just thinking too hard about the assholes that have betrayed me because I was watching "The Greatest Story Ever Told," yesterday.  (For those who aren't familiar with this particular film it's about Jesus and his life.  Very religious.)

In pretty much all of my relationships I have dated a "Judas," a betrayer.  Either they turned out to be emotionally or verbally abusive, bat-shit bonkers, or they decided that "messing around with guys" was just a phase.  Regardless of the reason I've always been left alone wondering what I did wrong in the relationship; but when I look at my relationships, I was always the good guy.

I would be the one compromising or the one forgiving them for calling me out of my name.  I think I'm just too nice and welcoming.  One of my faults is I tend to believe words rather than actions and I fall hard and fast.

I think the best thing for me is to get my life in order and not worry about love at the moment.  

Years ago, I heard someone say this in an interview and I was floored at why she would say such a thing.  Lady GaGa was being interviewed by Jay Leno--while I was in college--and he asked if she was dating or currently courting anyone.  Her answer was "I don't really worry about things like love anymore."  Hearing this then made me think she was some talented loon who must have been too busy to entertain the idea of a relationship.

Years later she came out with the song "Judas" and she got so much heat for it because it came off as blasphemous.  However, I love Lady GaGa so I'm biased when it comes to her; ergo, I loved the song LOL.  However, her explanation was quite riveting.  She elaborated that the biblical reference rang true to her own life because she had been a quite a few relationships with guys who were gentlemen at first but then betrayed her when she needed them the most.

So now I believe love isn't in the cards for me right now.  I won't object the idea of it, but looking for it is totally out of the question.

I just got inspired to give you a new Word of the Week.

Judasarian (pronounced joo-dis-sar-ee-an): betrayer; faulty person; one who leaves in the hour of need.

Example: "A friend who leaves you alone, in the middle of a fight because they're afraid, is a Judasarian."

Speaking of Judasarians, let me tell you about this guy I met about a week ago.  His name is ZaMorrie.  Yup, that's his real name.  I don't care if he reads this because what he did was incredibly treacherous.  

We were talking for a couple days and we planned on hooking up eventually.  Well this past Saturday night after I got home from work he texts me, drunk, and wanted me to come over to fuck him.  I, being the hornball I am, will hardly turn down any opportunity to have sex with attractive men (soon to be women...shhhh you didn't hear that) decided I would try my best to get over there.  Unfortunately for me, I only had one fare ($2.50) on my Metrocard.

I was in luck though because ZaMorrie told me that he would put me back on the train with no problem.  Duckies, I have never let my house without having a fare to get back home.  Anywho, I get to his place a little after 9 PM and we start watching a marathon of one of my favorite shows, "Guy Code," on MTV2.

Eventually we start making out and I loooooved making out with him because he smokes cigarettes.  I miss the taste of cigarettes on my tongue and having it back in my mouth on top of the pleasure from a kiss was like fireworks.

(Oh for those who don't know I stopped smoking cigarettes about 3 months ago!)

(As of April 1, 2013 at 6:25 PM this is my actual "quitting" progress.")

Moving along, we had sex like twice that night.  I practically fucked his brains out for hours, don't know how I did it, but I did LOL.  He tells me "Omg, that was amazing. Blah-blah-blah," which it was.  I enjoyed myself very much LOL. So we end up talking for a bit and go to bed around 4AM.  We wake up around 11AM entangled in each other's limbs, snuggling.

We get dressed and start heading toward the train station.  When we get past the front gate of his apartment building, he stops and says: "Shit, I forgot my wallet.  I can't help you out without that.  I'll be right back."

I'm like: "Cool.  I'll be down here waiting."

TEN MINUTES LATER...still no ZaMorrie.  Thinking he really can't find his wallet I shoot him a text, jokingly, saying: "Did you just ditch me? LOL."

An additional five minutes past and still no ZaMorrie.

Some dude in a suit comes out of the main door and let's me in because he obviously sees that I'm waiting for someone.  I go up the three flights to ZaMorrie's apartment and ring the doorbell.

I hear movement toward the door and then it stops.  He lives with his sister and I assume she was about to open the door because right before she could turn the handle he says:

"Don't open it!  That's him."

Then I heard the peephole open and close. Then I heard nothing else.

So basically ZaMorrie--I'll be nice enough not to share his last name--turned out to be a great big asshole in disguise.

Luckily for me I was only a good forty-five minutes WALK away from my house, so I made it home safely.  But what if I didn't know how to get home?  He would really use me and ditch me like that, after being such a "gentleman?"  Guys like ZaMorrie give men, gay and straight, a bad name.  Oh and if you're reading this, I don't feel bad now that your ex-husband cheated on you during your 10-year marriage by throwing sex parties with his friends.

Oh no, did I just tell the world that?  Oh well...

In other news, remember that cute dude I was talking to you about who is currently trying to end it with his boyfriend?  Well one of my predictions were right.  The day after I posted about him I had a conversation with him and he told me that after this relationship he's going to enjoy the single life for quite a bit.

Honestly, I don't blame him because being in a relationship is a full-time job.  And with the gay assholes running rampant in New York City (and Atlanta aka gay mecca) true love is a hard thing to come by.  But I'm going to keep on doing what I do best: being fabulous, sassy, and classy.

Speaking of classy, my friend Dave is one-sixth of this awesome band called "The Hunting Party," and they're having a concert this Friday, April 5th, 2013 at 8pm.  Click here to learn more about the band and hear their music and click here to learn more about the event.  

Unfortunately I won't be able to jam with them because my uncle's birthday is this Friday and he never celebrates it...but this year he wants to go to Johnny Utah's.  Plus I don't get off work on Friday until 8pm and I wouldn't wanna miss a minute of The Hunting Party's awesomeness.  Go and check them out this Friday.  You won't be disappointed!

I've spoken enough.  Let's get to some Words of Wisdom.

"Success isn't about where you are now, it's about what you're doing to get what you want later.  Success doesn't happen overnight but when it does it happens because you've paid your dues and you've fought for it.  Don't ever quit dreaming."

Okay my loves, tomorrow is my first official day as a Bridal Registry Consultant.  The last two weeks were just basic training.  Now I finally get to be in my pristine department.  Yay!

I love you for reading.  Have a fabulous week duckies!

-Gabriel Anderson

Going GaGa

'Ello duckies!  I hope all is well on your end because everything is fantastical on mine.

(I don't think you realize how hard it is to draw/write in pink paintbrush strokes, like that.  I'm even proud of myself.)

Duckies, I am so tired because I sat through my first day of Orientation at Bed Bath and Beyond.  I was there from 8:45AM until about 2AM, just listening to people speak for hours...but I know I'm going to love my job!

Not only does the job seem like so much fun and the people seem so nice...my new fellow co-workers are sooooo hot, especially this one dude.

God, I really hope he's not like younger than 21 because I do not plan on robbing the cradle: not my cup of tea, thank you very much.  

He's so gorgeous and we had to sit close to each other the whole day and I was literally in heaven because he has the most gorgeous smile and I can tell he's a cool guy.  Plus, he kept trying to talk to me during Orientation and kept laughing at things I laughed at too...okay maybe because actual funny things did happen during Orientation.

We had to watch this video about training (i.e. standing on ladders, how to properly lift boxes, open boxes, etc.) and you know how most training videos are so tongue-in-cheek corny and old.  Well he and I (and the other cool kids) were laughing pretty much the entire video.

The jokes weren't like "The Big Bang Theory" or "GIRLS" kind of funny, but the lack of comedy and overall trying to make a joke happen made the video funnier than its original purpose.  It was more like we were laughing at the video than with it.

Oh my jumping jack Jesus, did you guys see the season finale "GIRLS" last night?  I cried legit THREE times watching it. 

(If you don't want to read about any spoilers than you should skip all of the red colored text.)

I cried when Ray and Shoshana finally called it quits because Shosh couldn't put up with Ray's lack of "ambition."  I kind of agree with Shoshana's "plight" though.  I feel as though Ray didn't really like anything but her, as she stated, and had no interest in bettering his life.  Granted, I'm 24 going on 25 in August but I'm trying to make shit happen with my life.  Ray is in his early thirties and still hasn't gotten his shit together or even had an inkling to what his shit should even look like.

Another part where I cried was when Marnie stopped dicking around and admitted to Charlie how she really felt about him and he said, "That's all I ever wanted to hear."  Like seriously?!  Marnie and Charlie are the cutest couple because Charlie is so handsome and endearing, whereas Marnie is so beautiful and timidly blunt (if there's even such a thing).  Sorry to jump to last week's episode but Marnie's version of Kanye West's "Stronger" was fucking hilarious.  Click here to watch it! LOL

(Did anyone notice Shoshana in the background, while Marnie was singing? She's in this picture if you look closely.)

And the last part that made me cry was when Adam ran (and took a train) to Hannah's house because he knew she wasn't in her right state of mind.  Mind you he did this shirtless and he practically "FaceTimed" with her until he had to kick down her front door and pick her up in his big, strong arms...to passionately kiss her.

I was so moved by last night's episode of "GIRLS" that right after watching it, I ran into my younger sister's room and said, "That was so beautiful."  But while saying it I couldn't hold back my tears and I started crying and she was like "Awww, you're really crying right now?!" I laid my head in her lap for like twenty-seconds and let out my silent tears and tiny bursts of laughter...but between those tears I felt a wash of loneliness.  

Although "GIRLS" is fictitious and well-written, I wish my life were more like it.  I can relate to pretty much every character on the show.  I can say that I have a mental disorder that effects my daily life.  I can say that I have a father that didn't pay much attention to me when I was younger.  I can say that I used to push people that truly loved me away sometime ago.  But now I can say that I want that real love: the love that hurts and makes you do nice things for them, even though they called you a name ten minutes ago.  I was so moved by that episode of "GIRLS" that I wrote a poem; more like spewed my raw emotions onto my iPhone.  I entitled it "Together," like the title of the season finale of "GIRLS."

Speeding toward the light and promise of you,

I can only feel my wings taking turns lifting my heart.

You are the answer.

I am the world.

Love for us isn't forever.  Love for us is now and tomorrow. 

My love burns for you and you cool me down with the simplest of touches.

I need to roll in your desire and wrap myself in your need.

This is forever us.

Together, we are.

So yeah, I was definitely feeling the love bug last night.  I've been single for quite awhile now and I'm just tired of playing the single, slutty game where I just find temporary romance, only after fucking someone's brains out.

Meaningless sex has become such a common thing in my life that sometimes I have sex just because I don't feel like masturbating.  But you know what?  I need to stop that!  If I want to find love I need to shut off my hormones and start thinking with my heart and not my...

Oh!  I saw this word the other day and I thought I'd share it with you as a "WORD OF THE WEEK."  (Yeah, that was random...but you should know me by now.)

This WORD OF THE WEEK is...

Askhole (pronounced "ehsk-ho-la") - One who asks for advice when in dilemmas, only to go against it; one who does the opposite of what is advised.

Ex: Person 1 - "Henry always does the same thing.  If you tell him to stay home, he'll want to hang out.  If you tell him to hang out, he'll want to stay home."

Person 2 - "Oh child, don't you know Henry's a big ol' askhole?"

I guess I should get to some Words of Wisdom while I'm at it.

"In order to achieve happiness, you must create it.  If you focus on not having it, you will only attract the opposite of happiness.  Think happy thoughts.  Laugh until you're lightheaded and crying.  Life is yours to take, one smile at a time."

BREAKING NEWS!

My best friend Elle Fox just called and informed me she just got an apartment!  This is her first apartment as an adult!!!

I'm so proud of her and this new step in her beautiful journey she calls life.  GO ELLE!!!

In more news, in regards to me moving out I'm giving myself an extension, only until January 2014.  I figured that my birthday was too close for what I'm asking.  I don't want a roommate...

(so I can do everything naked)

 and I want exquisite furniture.  Plus, I want to renew my membership at Planet Fitness...

and I would like to activate my iPhone 4 or upgrade to a better version.

In addition, student loans are so far up my ass that I can taste the bill collector's breath when they call my house.

Anywho loves, I'm going to get my things ready for day two of Orientation tomorrow and then head over to celebrate with Elle.

I love you for reading.

-Gabriel Anderson

Just Putting It Out There

My duckies! Oh my stars it has been forever since we last had any interaction.  It's been eight months...but who's counting?!

I've come to the conclusion that I have been in my own way ever since I graduated from school.  Given I underwent two nervous breakdowns--one during the summer of 2010 and another the following year, (which I'm pretty sure was a direct effect of me going through withdrawals from not taking my medication)--but I don't have any more excuses for this standstill I'm in. I've been holding myself back from adventure and employment because I'm picky.

I came to this realization toward the beginning of this month.  I received a call from a random organization saying that I applied to one of their positions and they were willing to offer me a job.  (I most likely did because I tend to just apply to any job on my iPhone, using the Monster and Indeed job applications.)  Well this guy gave me the details for the job...and I immediately declined.  The job was an administrative assistant position--one where I over-qualify--and it paid twelve dollars an hour.  Fourteen an hour isn't bad...but twelve?! I want at least seventeen an hour.  I think I deserve that much.  But here was the catch to this job...IT WAS ONLY FOR SIX MONTHS, WITHOUT THE CHANCE OF REHIRING!!!

Since I graduated I've had nothing but temp jobs and I'll let you know this now: temping sucks.  Every assignment is the same. Every boss thinks you're incompetent or a jackass because you're a temp.  And once you prove them wrong and show them your worth, your assignment there is nearly over.  In addition, most temp agencies have you sign a contract where if you work for a certain company, through them, you cannot work for the company as long as you're still employed by the agency...and sometimes you have to wait a year until you're no longer affiliated with the agency.

I feel as though I deserve a great job because I am an incredibly loyal employee.  My work ethic is impeccable--if I love my job and sometimes even when I hate it--and I deserve a big boy job where I can start a career.  I'm tired of being the new guy every other few months and having to kiss extra ass because my agency couldn't extend my stay at a particular assignment.  So now I'm steering clear of temp agencies and I'm looking for a big boy job.

Speaking of a big boy job, I'm kind of heading in the right direction toward my dream profession as a published writer.  I'm about one hundred and ten (plus) pages into my first memoir...and this writing site wants me to contribute to their blog.  And not only that, they're considering publishing one of my pieces in their annual journal publication.  If this happens this means I will officially be a writer in the eyes of the world.

To quote one of my favorite shows "GIRLS," "when most people say they want to write, they just want to stay home, eat, and, masturbate."  And as of late I stopped just eating and masturbating.  I'm writing everyday now too.

So the site is called Nomadic Sojourns Journal and the general theme behind the pieces they accept relate to movement.  Now you must be thinking, in what regard exactly? My initial thought was this site was about breaking it down to "Single Ladies" or serving "Black Swan" realness!

However, it can mean that and many things.  The Nomadic Sojourns Journal focuses on the movement of the mind, body, and spirit.  It can focus on how moved you can be by watching your firstborn son excel at a spelling bee or watching an injured kitten hobble across an alley at night.  Movement, in any sense, is the state of progressing into something you weren't before.  Without movement life wouldn't exist or at least it wouldn't be worth living.  The very essence of moving makes our blood flow, which makes our heart beat, and in effect enables us to live.  With that being said I felt honored that such an institution extended their domain and literary hand to me.

Speaking of extending their hand to me, I've recently started talking to this older gentleman--for close to a month now--and he is smitten with me already.  (Oh that SummerBoy Antonio or whatever his name was ended up being the craziest person I've ever fucked/dated/talked to ever.  I mean I'm sure he was like a stage 10 bipolar asshole.  One day he called me 28 times in a row and texted me over twenty hateful texts because he thought I was at another guy's house.)

Anyway back to this older gentleman.  He's in his thirties, don't you dare judge me, and I enjoy his company.  But once I "put it down" on him and found his "spot" he went from hardly picking up his phone to calling me multiple times a day.  This always happens to me.  The second I find a guy I think is sane and I think he can handle my sex, afterwards he becomes bat-shit bonkers.

I'm not bragging but (excuse my frank language) my head/fellatio skills are top-notch and once dudes get it once, they usually don't want it to be the last time.  There's another thing that bothers me about this dude now though.  He's in his thirties and he says in order for me to date him his family has to be okay with it.

I'm sorry I thought I was the younger one.  You're thirty-six and you need approval from your family to date someone?  Boy bye.  Ain't nobody got time for that, right Sweet Brown?

I left my watch over at his house the other night and he just left for a month-long trip to the Dominican Republic...so I guess I'll just have to find another watch and another soon-to-be man lol.

Anywho, I have been asking the universe for some things (i.e. a job, a man, selflessness, etc.) and it has been giving me some okay results so I guess it's time to let the universe know what I really want.  And what better way to do this than right here?  So I'm just gonna put it out there via letter...

Dear Universe,

I would like to thank you for all that you have given me.  You are magnificent and forever wonderful.  I come to you now to ask you for a few things.  

First and foremost I would like a great paying job that I love, preferably in the publishing and/or entertainment industry, that I can turn into a long-lasting career.  I want this job to take me places that I can't even fathom.  I am ready to put in the hard work and dedication needed to make a name for myself.  

Second, I would like to move out of my family's home before this year is complete.  It's been a fantastic and cushion-like twenty-four years but it's time to move out.  Also, I would like a dependable roommate who won't ditch me last minute when it comes to rent or if we have plans (and they decide to go with another friend to a Nets game).

Third, I would like a gentleman lover between the age of 21 and 32.  He has to be funny, intelligent, compassionate, a little sassy, fun to be around, attractive, and he has to have some kind of a passion.  I love a man with passion, universe. (Don't get me started with that.) I want him to be able to make his own decisions and I am willing to make time for him and love him, only if he is willing to do the same.  I want a man who is equally fun being around just eating Doritos and watching Netflix as he is going out for a night of drinks and dancing.  Oh and he has to love cuddling and must be divine in bed.  Okay, maybe not divine but he has to be able to make me desire him.

Fourth, I would like a better batch of friends.  I want friends that don't just say "let's hang out."  I want friends that actually call me to ask how I am and are just fine with coming over and talking.  Why must we go out and get drunk to enjoy ourselves? I want some new ride-or-die buddies.  I only have about four friends that I consider soulmates now, due to some unfortunate circumstances, but that's life.

Let's make this happen, universe.  

I thank you. 

I love you. 

I need you. 

I ask of you to believe in you, in order to receive from you.

Amen.

Well, I think it's time for a new word of the week.

This WORD OF THE WEEK is: ASTRACTED (pronounced uh-strack-ted)

Astracted: When someone so beautiful comes into view that you become distracted by your attraction toward them.

Example: "Girl, I'm so sorry. I didn't hear a word you said. Jeremy just came into the room and I got so astracted."

Since I gave you a word of the week it's only fair that I leave you with some Words of Wisdom.  

"Never be afraid to try something new.  Professionals once were amateurs....but remember, amateurs built the arc.  Professionals built the Titanic.  Go build your arc and sail through your dreams."

Okay duckies, I promise that since I have so much time on my hands that I will post as much as I can.  Oh and I'll make sure to keep you updated with my writing escapades with the Nomadic Sojourns Journal.

I love you for reading.

-Gabriel Anderson

Terminally Unemployed

Well hello there duckies.  I know it's been...forever (well 6 months, but who's counting?!) since I last blogged.   And guess what?  You know I have tons of sass to give you. I missed you all so dearly, but not as much as I missed my sanity.  Sadly in August of 2011 I was yet again admitted to the hospital because of another bipolar episode.

No I wasn't in a straight jacket (or chains, LOL) during anytime of my stay and I actually turned myself in this time.  I was in the hospital for a little over a month. I think the exact dates were August 5th to September 15th...or something like that.  I do know my release date is accurate.  Anyway this time around was different because I actually knew where I was and why I was there.  My previous hospitalization was such a disaster because the care there was sub-par and I had to grasp the fact that I was actually having a mental breakdown and couldn't go home until the doctors thought I wasn't a hazard to society.

I don't know if I mentioned this before but to clear the air I do think I was possessed the first time I had my mental breakdown...but this time around, I felt invincible.  Like the invincible feeling you get when you're drunk and every song that comes on is your jam.  I just felt like nothing could stop me and I didn't give a shitake mushroom about what others thought about my actions.  I would go to the gym and flirt with the hot staff at the front desk.  I would dance in front of everyone there too...AND EVEN IN THE STREETS.

It even got to a point where I walked around my neighborhood with a stuffed animal snake around my neck and used it as a dancing prop.  I seriously felt as sexy as Britney Spears when she performed at the 2001 VMAs with that yellow boa constrictor...but I know I looked crazy Britney.

Anyway, my stay in the hospital taught me a lot.  The main lesson is I can't run from what I am and it's only when I accept everything about myself that I can move on with my life, to live the dream.  (And that I need to take my meds too, LOL!)

So for the past six months I've been trying to cope with being bipolar and what the rest of my life would be like with it. I have a psychiatrist and a therapist and things seem to being going well.  I'm also on the hunt for a job.  I will not work as a waiter or anything pertaining to retail, no offense to those working in either industry.  I'm sorry I just can't do it.

I would be the most horrible waiter because I swear profusely and I do not have balance when it comes to juggling plates.  Retail is just a nightmare.  I worked for the NBA store last year, from December to February and I would pray before every day of work to get fired.  

Luckily, the store was shutting down in February and I didn't have to deal with that hellhole anymore.  But yeah, I'm still on the hunt for employment.  I've received a few bites here and there but nothing solid.  I have an appointment to meet a very promising temp agency that specializes in administrative positions, which is straight-up my alley.  Put me at a desk with a computer for eight hours a day and you've got me.  I seriously love administrative and clerical work!  (Did I ever mention that I have a secret obsession with filing? Like it's kind of sad. If something needs to be filed, I'm all over it.)

Speaking of all over it, since I haven't been employed I've been trying to be all over boys.  I actually liked a few of them.  I even dated one of them...but that ended because the bastard didn't pay me any attention after we became "sexually exclusive."  And trust me, I am a sex god.  I am an incubus.  But relationships of any kind don't last just because of sex. 

Here are some of the reasons why my past relationships haven't worked for me.

Reason 1: I attract bisexual men.

I seriously don't know why but bisexual men always find their way into my life.  Maybe it's my perky and lovely manboobs.  Maybe it's my pretty, glowing face.  I just don't know!  But men who like girls and guys tend to be a dominant fixture in my life.  So you know what?  If you're bi, good-bye.  If you like girls, do a swirl.  If you like vagina, I'm not gonna sign ya.  If you like...okay, you guys get the point.

Reason 2: I fall for guys so fast and hard.

There's something so passionate and possessive about me when I become interested in someone.  Even if I've only been talking to them for days, hours, or seconds; if I feel a connection with you...I immediately see a future with them.  It's not like "oh-yaaay-he's-gonna-be-my-husband" kind of thing, (only for Vin Diesel...and if you're reading this pleeeeeease contact me Vincent. Thanks.)  It's the "I-can-actually-see-myself-waking-up-next-to-him-in-the-morning-and-actually-not-try-to-slip-out-the-door-but-actually-smile-and-kiss-him-before-I-make-him-breakfast" kind of feeling.

I'm actually feeling that way about another boy but he doesn't live in New York...but I think it's too early for me to like him.  He seems like a pretty cool dude.  He's fucking adorable, he has THE sexiest voice, and our sense of humor seem identical.  The catch is he lives thousands of miles away and I've only been talking to him since SATURDAY! Eeeeek!

(and lastly) Reason 3: I get bored easily with boys.

I am like a little puppy.

I need attention.  Not too much, but if I text you I expect you to text me back; not immediately but at least before the day is over.  I take getting to know guys very seriously and if it seems like I'm not getting enough attention, I get bored.  I'm not the average dude.  You gotta keep up with me brotha-friend.  I'm the playful little puppy that you adopted and now it's time to give me some time and some love.

In other events, I really want to get a puppy. If I had a job I'd have one by now. My family is willing to get me the puppy but they're not willing to buy him food and stuff, which is reasonable since I'm pretty much the puppy of the house. I poop everywhere, I eat everything, I take naps, I'm loud, and I bite people. LOL

OMG! Have you guys ever heard about the cutest dog in the world? His name is Boo.  He is this Pomeranian that has this extreme haircut (he's basically shaved all the way down, to make him look all fuzzy) and he looks like a little teddy bear!  Look at him!

Click here to watch a video of him on YouTube!

I want a dog just as cute as him...but that won't happen until my own money starts flowing in.  But when I do get a dog my future boyfriend better watch out because he will be the love of my life.  He will be my baby and I'm going to spoil him and make him the most fabulous, and the sassiest dog ever.  (I was thinking of naming him Bolton, Bolt for short.)

In other news, one of my best friends is currently crashing at my house.  He's been here since late November and it's been an experience...and that's all I'm going to share right now lol.  (I just can't wait 'til my house is my house again, no offense.)

My little sister is in her second semester of college now.  Like WTF?!  Didn't you just have your sweet 16? Oh, that's right you're only 17.  She won't be able to legally drink until grad school but until then GET CRAZY!

Being unemployed sucks because I can't go out and party with my friends as much and Gabriel is nothing without his sexy & sassy friends.  My best friend Elle Fox had a birthday party this past Friday and I couldn't make it because I didn't even have money for a MetroCard.  Do you know how broke that is? That's like "I-should-be-on-the-streets-asking-for-change" broke.

Elle, I've been trying to reach you and I really hope you're not mad at me for not being able to make it.  You know how tight things are with my funds are right now.  I can't even buy flowers right now.  I love you with all my heart and I really hope my missing your party hasn't put a damper on our friendship because I cannot see my life without you.

The same goes out to my soulmate Nora, my fabulous friends Mallory, Lauren, and Laurene.  You sexy ladies were in town and I was too broke to joke (aka party).  When things swing in my favor I will most definitely make it up.

But I have a feeling 2012 has a lot in store for me.  I know, I know it's so cliche to say something like that about a new year...but I sincerely feel like my close to 24 years on this planet is going to have a significant impact on myself and those around me.

Okay, enough of my babbling. Here are some Words of Wisdom. (You may have seen this on my FaceBook page if you've been stalking me. It's okay. I stalk you too.)

"Sometimes you think the world is full of sunshine & rainbows, but then you see the gray clouds looming over you.  But you know what you gotta do?  Get your ass some rainboots, a sassy umbrella, and some Ray-Bans because the only person holding you back in yourself.  Dance in the fucking rain, baby-angel!"

If you guys haven't purchased Rihanna's album "Talk That Talk" either go shoot yourself in the foot or get it now.

It's insanely amazing!

Okay duckies, I think that's enough for today.  I will try my best to keep this updated as much as possible. If you aren't following me already, follow my everyday adventures on Twitter: @sassme.  I love you for reading.

Stay classy. Stay sassy. Stay true.

-Gabriel Anderson