The Sass Must Go On!

Good afternoon duckies! It has been too long--two weeks to be exact--since I blogged. I missed you all so terribly.

I've been so busy with my internship at HarperCollins Publishers. I feel like such an oldie sometimes. Every day, after work, I come home and I end up falling asleep on my couch.

I haven't really had a break all summer. I started working with Red Caps in late May (until June 11th). Then my internship with Harper started June 16th and my last day is August 13th. Then on August 23rd I have to truck it back to Hartford for my Senior year. So I basically have/had 2 weeks to myself this summer lol.

But I can't complain, I asked for this lifestyle. (I see why my fellow celebrity-brethren turn to drugs lol) Did I really just say that? But I know it will all pay off in the end. This is only the beginning of my beautiful life.

A lot has happened over the past three weeks.

The weekend of July 24th my dear duckies Kelly, Shelby, Rudis, Shaun and Graham went to a hookah bar called Phours, down on 6th Street and Avenue B.

Graham only stayed for about 20 minutes (but I've seen him all summer). It was such a rewarding experience to see my fellow college-educated duckies.

Kelly: We are indeed living the dream and remember don't focus on what we don't have. Treasure everything we do and more will come.
Rudis: It's always a pleasure my friend. I need to see you more often. You make my life!
Shelby: Devoted duckie, I love you. I hope you're having a fabulous day at the zoo. (Hello zookeepers! Thank you for keeping up with my posts.)
Shaun: You better slip away to celebrate my birthday on August 21st. I had a blast shooting the $hit with you at Starbucks and our little walk to the train.


Oooh! Speaking of birthdays, the big day is 16 days away; I'll finally be 21!


I've finally decided how the night will go about. On my actual birthday--August 19th--I just wanna stay in with my family & friends and have some wine and pizza. (Or I might go to a bar, who knows?)
On August 21st, I'm having an A-List dinner with nine beautiful duckies at my favorite restaurant, Carmines.

Then everyone else--this includes you--can join us at this beautiful lounge called APT. It's location is 419 w13th Street.
(Actually a picture of part of the lounge.)
For my 21st I don't wanna be sloppy and belligerent. (Gaga knows I've had too many a night like those.) I want it to be classy: drinks in hand, bellies full, hearts full of laughter, great friends at bay and eyes for gorgeous SummerBoys.

Speaking of sloppy drunk, the week before I saw my precious duckies at the Phours Hookah spot, I hung out with my favorite chicas: Mel, Alice, Lidia and Reba...and others.


They weren't sloppy drunk though. I was. It was horrible.
(Don't judge me. I'm going to give you all the not-so-glamorous details of the night.)


Before I left my house, I made a strong concoction of whatever was at the bar of my house, mixed with Apple & Passionfruit juice. The drink was stupendously good...and incredibly strong. It had Pyrat rum, Alcohol 95 (which is overproof, meaning it's over the alcohol proofing system, in other words it's like drinking rubbing alcohol), and some other poisonous additions.
So when I got to Mel's sister's apartment, I began to guzzle my drink. I'm a titanium tank though. It takes a lot for me to get sick. Anywho, I finished my drink before we left but I was absolutely fine. Then I took a shot of Captain Morgan (aow) then I made a drink with Smirnoff and orange juice. Duckies, I was still fine.

We took the train down to my hot spot (not giving away any bar names) and I had a Cornona Extra and I ordered a picture of Coors Light. I only drank 1.5 cups of Coors Light. Not to mention, Lidia and I had a very special heart-to-heart. (I almost cried at the bar lol.) Shortly after that, I smoked some natural leaves outside and decided I needed a Red Bull to pick me up.
I bought a huge Red Bull. (This is when things started getting heavy.)


Reba, Alice and I were talking outside drinking our Red Bulls and all the alcohol just hit me in the face...and a little but poured out of my mouth.

Reba or Alice didn't see me throw-up a little bit (this is going to be news to them lol) because they were engaged in conversing about--the topic leaves me--and I was pretty sneaky with my delivery lol.

Afterwards, we split up in two cabs (because there were a total of 9 of us) to head down to see our friend Alyssa on 72nd Street and Broadway, where her going-away celebration was in the city. (By the way, congratulations on your consultant job Alyssa. I hope you have fun at training baby girl!)


I didn't make it to her party though.
Once we got in the cab it didn't take long for me to throw up some more with all the movement and smells. I threw up at least six times out of the cab window (some of it trickled down the inside of the car door). It got to the point where I didn't have anything else to throw up, so it looked like I was having a seizure. I left my precious duckies on 72nd Street, taking the cab we took to get downtown, to go home. It wasn't fun at all.

Looking back at it now, it was hilarious. I should have known my limit but I kept pushing. (My motto is: Go hard or go home. I'm not going home.) I've never been that fcuked up in my life. Hence, my laid-back attitude, in regards to drinking on my birthday.

In regards to attitude, I honestly cannot stand my mother right now. I love this woman but she is unbearable at the present time. She is incredibly sassy (without reason) and it's gotten to the point where I have to physically and mentally restrain myself because she can be so nasty at times. When I bring it to her attention she blames it on her "time of the month" but it seems like the "time of the month" mood swings are becoming "times of every day."


She and my stepdad have been making these little jokes about cutting my cell phone off when I turn 21 and tell me I need to get a paying job.


Mind you, after I landed my internship with HarperCollins my mother said "Don't worry about getting a job. You have an internship to handle."



She is so backwards.
Let me give you an example of the sass I get from her nowadays.

Last night, I left a steak out to thaw in the kitchen so I could cook it before TRUE BLOOD came on. It was evident that I was going to make a steak because she saw me take it out of the freezer. Anywho, right when I turn on the George Forman grill, here she comes, into the kitchen with as towel, saying "I was about to wash my hair." If I hadn't gone into the kitchen, I'm sure she wouldn't have step foot into it. This got me so upset.
The conversation went along these lines:

Me: (controlling my anger, talking through gritted teeth) You always do this.
Mom: (sassy face) I can do whatever I want.
Me: (sassing her right back) Well, that's good for you.
Mom: You better stop sassing me.
Me: You sassed me first, so why can't I retaliate? (walking away, into my room.)

She recently turned 40 and Graham is on her team saying "maybe she's going through menopause." I just think she's being a little too sassy.

In regards to her telling me to get a paying job, sorry that I'm a great student and I landed a unique internship with HarperCollins Publishers. Sorry that I'm the only intern--out of the hundreds--that has his own office. Sorry that I'm gonna make more money that you in the future. Sorry that I'm gonna quarantine you in a nursing home when I become famous (well, more famous).
Woooohuh!
I'm sorry duckies. I needed to let that out. I was holding that in for the longest. It just doesn't seem fair to me because I'm a good kid. I don't deserved to be sassed by my Mom for no apparent reason. In most cases, it's not constructive or joking criticism; it's deconstructive and sassy.

Okay, it's definitely time for some "Words of Wisdom."

"When confronted with relentless negativity, do not feed into it. Try your best to compose yourself. Feeding into the negativity only worsens the situation. If possible, take a step back to evaluate the situation and try to come to a compromise. If this doesn't work just walk away and continue to be positively fabulous."

I should take heed to the words I just said so I will confront my mother about our prior interactions. I don't know how I'll do it...maybe I'll write her a letter when I'm back at school. Hmmm.

Oh geez! We are way overdue for a "Word of the Week."
The new word of the week is...
Stray: one confused of one's sexuality; one claiming to be "straight" but indulges in homosexual activity.
Ex.
Person 1: "Gabriel, I don't know about Jeffrey. He seems a bit weird and uncomfortable when he's around gay and feminine men."
Person 2: "I know, right? He's probably stray. I get that vibe from him.

Okay duckies, it's time for me to go do some actual work today. I'm sitting at my supervisor's desk this week, on the 11th floor, in the Corporate Communications Department.
I update Twitter like crazy. Follow me! twitter.com/sassme
Like Rockstar (follow him on Twitter too!) I think Twitter is slowly killing my blog. But I shall rise duckies!


(Look at this hot picture of me and Nivea. We had a glamorous photoshoot on Elle Fox's courtyard. Click here to see it all!)

Oh watch this video: it's about Derek from The Real World Cancun and another roomate. Hilarious!


I wish you the best of happiness duckies. I love you. Stay true, tuned, and glamorous!


Live, love, & Lady Gaga,
Gabriel Anderson

Kidnapped Dreams

Hello duckies!

I know it has been entirely too long since I've last blogged; my apologies.

A lot has happened since then...but I do remember speaking about Red Caps.

Unfortunately, my Red Cap job is postponed until August 23rd (tear) but a lot of us Red Caps have been commenting on this one picture on FaceBook. I set the goal of reaching 1,000 comments before August 23rd and we've more than accomplished half of that goal. Click here to see the comments. (Help us reach 1,000 comments!)

Anywho, every year the Red Cap committee chooses two choreographers to create the "secret-but-not-so-secret" dance for the Freshmen Welcome Program. This year myself and Jessica were chosen to put it together. (Our committee told us the fabulous news nearly half a semester before Red Caps started...but we didn't put anything together--including the music--until a couple hours before rehearsal. Luckily, Jess and I are born performers and we were able to create the dance in two days. But those two days were grueling.)

During dance practice I was a dick...no, I was Baklahdah.

I was yelling, screaming, and swearing all over the place. If my fellow employees didn't know me, they probably would have plotted to kill me lol. (Not joking) But I yelled, screamed, and swore because I wanted them to believe in themselves. I wanted them to leave the stage in pieces after their performance. And guess what?! They were phenomenal.

I nearly cried when I saw the video of our performance: see it for yourself.

In other news, I have a confession. For the past few months, I haven't quite been myself. My friends have told me I've been quieter than my usual self. I admit, I've noticed it too.

Well duckies the source of my containment is my support system at home.

On June 16th, 2009, I came back to NYC because school was over. And upon my return my mother and I started fighting like crazy. We said some mean things to each other: I threatened to move out and drop out of college; she acted like she wouldn't care if I did.

The thought of being home with her for a summer scared me; hence my wanting to move to San Francisco after college. But I'm not a quitter. I don't run away from my problems.

Miraculously, my mother and I have reconciled and we're fine now: it's as if nothing happened. I realized that I was angry because I was freaking out about what I wanted after my undergraduate college career and my mother transformed her sorrow into anger because her only (and eldest) son is a year away from flying the nest.

Our fighting forced me to reevaluate my post-college dreams. I don't want to move to San Francisco. My dear friend Rockstar put the idea in my head because he wants to move out there after he graduates in December. However, I've realized that San Francisco isn't my dream...it's his. (Plus, they have earthquakes and their casual look is what I wear to bed.)

I want to grow--as an independent adult--in New York City.

I want to go to grad school at NYU.

I want to be the editor-in-chief of Details Magazine.

I want to be famous...but most of all I want to be internationally-known for my writing. I'm going to be a star and it's up to me to chase my dreams. Lady Gaga did it...so can I!

Anywho, this Tuesday I start my second internship with HarperCollins Publishers.

I am so excited!!! The thing I love most about my internship is I don't do bitch work. I do actual office work...in my own office! AHHHHH! I help determine the publishing value of incoming submissions, I assist in editing manuscripts of books in the process of publishing, I send correspondences--checks, book requests, foreign copy requests, subsidiary rights, etc.--to authors, agents and editors, and I get free books and office supplies! Yes, it is an unpaid internship but it is helping me grow as a semi-starving artist. Yaaaaay!

It's time for the "Word of the Week."

The new "Word of the Week" is:

Duende: An entity that possesses one in need of creativity; muse; passionate feeling of ferocity; passion.

Ex. Person 1: "Gabriel kept yelling at us during dance practice today."

Person 2: "Girl, Gabriel is a performer. He just wanted you to let your duende loose."

Duckies, it's time for some "Words of Wisdom."

"Live your life no matter what they say. If you aren't causing harm to others and/or yourself you have the right to do whatever you please. Dreams will stay dreams unless you make an effort in your waking life to make them a reality. Never let go of what you want."

Okay duckies, it's time for me to go to bed. I have a life to live and preparation to conduct before my internship on Tuesday.

I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true and tuned duckies.

Live, love & Lady Gaga,

Gabriel Anderson

When In Doubt, Dress Accordingly

Hello duckies. I should be reading for class right now but I like doing my work right before class. It's not procrastinating if you plan on doing it last minute. lol Anyway, this weekend was an experience to say the least. More importantly, I'd like to share my ultimate sass experience, which happened this past weekend.

So I was A-list party hopping this past weekend and I ran into a friend of mine, Millie. Millie was telling me that our mutual friend Skyler was at this party and she wanted me to come. I'm never up for missing a party. I walk Millie to the party and Skyler opens the door and hugs Millie, only to converse with her. I try to spark a conversation between the two of us:

Me: "Hey Skyler. What's up? Are you gonna let me in?"
Skyler: Hugging Millie into the door's threshold, "You weren't invited."

Then he slammed the door in my face!



At first I thought this was play-sass but after waiting outside the door for 30 seconds I found out that Skyler wasn't joking. He didn't let me in. I texted him telling him he was dead to me...which is true. You're dead to me Skyler.

So the next day he tries apologizing to me ("I'm sorry. I was drunk and it wasn't my party. I was a guest.") but I'm not hearing it because he only tried apologizing to me through other people or only when other people are around. Fcuk you Skyler. If you were really sorry you would try to pull me to the side and apologize one-on-one. When negativity enters my life I dispose of it as soon as possible. Therefore, you're out of my life. I wish you the best Skyler.

In other news, I'm at the library right now and it's been so random today. Within the first twenty minutes of me sitting down one guy asks me:

"By any chance would you have an iPod charger?"

(It gets better.)

Then another guy starts a conversation with me:

Weirdo: "I don't have my school ID with me, could I borrow your card to print something?"
Me: "Ummm, I don't have any cash on mine, so no."

I really didn't have any cash on my school ID. But come on?! I never saw you a day in my life and you're asking me for money. HA! Nice one duckie.

I think Connecticut's aggravating me lately because I haven't been home in a month. I'm going through with withdrawals and I decided I'm gonna go home this Friday!



I'm so excited. I get to roam the city as late as I want. I get to hear hobos sing for money on the train. I get to hear Puerto Rican babies cry in grocery stores. I get to escape from this bubble they call Hartford! Yaaaaay!

But you know what I miss too? I miss working out.



I used to workout before my afternoon classes and I would feel so amazing afterwards. The endorphins would get me through the day and I was looking hot. Like hotter than I do now. (How marvelous is that?!) So yeah, I gotta hit the gym and finally start my "I'm-not-gonna-look-fat-in-my-21st-birthday-pics" diet."

Anywho, last night I made a new friend. His name is B! (like the E! Channel) and it was weird how close we got in the matter of hours. He's such a chill dude and we have eerily similar qualities.



It's always fun to befriend and to be around people who are actually doing things with their lives too. Amazing!

Oh! Duckies, I have a theory; listen up!
Mondays suck right? Well pretty much every weekday sucks (except Friday). So I figured something out so weekdays are bearable. When in doubt, dress accordingly.

Dress how you want to feel, whether it's sexy, distinguished, shy...whatever. If you dress how you feel your garments will send out messages (of your choice) to the universe and they will be answered. Try it!

Okay, I've waited long enough to give you some "Words of Wisdom." Here it is:

"Never assume the motives of others. People function off of different principles and no one is the same. Feel things out before you prematurely judge another. And you know what they say when you assume; you make an ass out of yourself and I point and laugh."
(Well that's what I say about assuming lol.)

Anywho duckies, I need to get back to my homework. I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

A-List Updates

Good morning my sexy lil' duckies. I'm not even going to ask you if everything is "alright" because I know it is. Life is beautiful and if you're having an ugly day, you better show God your receipt lol. Anywho, the train ride to work was so weird today. First this sketchy-looking guy kept starting at me...



and whenever I knew he was looking I would roll my eyes. This stopped his staring for about two seconds...then he would continue! It got to the point where I rolled my eyes so much I caught a slight headache. (This is what happens when God shows off creating you; people just never know when to quit.) A few stops later he gets off (thank you Jesus) but I guess the "obnoxious quota" wasn't filled on the train because a group of 20-something ladies run, to sit in the space next to me.



The girl closest to me smelled like a cocktail of discount perfume & 'pleather' and kept bumping me because she was telling an intense story (no, I wasn't eavesdropping). The bumping got annoying after awhile. But I didn't say anything because all of them were really pretty. It's hard for me to tell pretty girls what they're doing wrong; I appreciate beauty too much. But if they had been ugly (woooooooohuh!) they would have felt the wrath lol.

In regards to (yesterday's) A-list news, one of the barista's at Starbucks is always so nice to me. He's always like...



"Hey, how are you?" "See you tomorrow," or "You again?!"

LOL, little things like that make my life.

In addition, I had a business lunch, with an alum from my school (University of Hartford), who actually helped me get my internship with HarperCollins. Amazing, right?!



We went to this chic little spot called Mangia; it was divine. She had me cracking up, sharing stories about New Year's Eve and Hartford. I had a great time. Plus, she took care of the bill. She's such a phenomenal woman. (Thanks Lisa!)

FAT UPDATE!
I learned how to make a Milky Way Latte at work yesterday.



This little package (above) has so much flavor. (That sounded so dirty lol) I love Milky Way Lattes! It felt like God was juggling my taste buds.

OH! SASS UPDATE (not for me but this guy who was driving a Range Rover last night).

As you know New Yorkers are always in a rush (myself included; ask any of my friends how fast I walk). So on my way home a bus decided to try and 'beat the light," only to block the light for the opposing side of traffic. So this guy driving a Range Rover decided to try to ease up on the crosswalk, after the light turned red. All of a sudden, a lady wearing this hot mink, starts walking in front of the Range Rover and...



violently slaps down on the Range Rover's hood...AND GIVES THE GUY A "WATCH IT B*TCH" FACE! Everyone of the corner (including myself) just looked at around at each other like, "Did that just happen?" It was hilarious! What makes it more hysterical is the guy driving the Range Rover backed-up a little.

Speaking of backing-up, I was taken aback yesterday because my supervisor told me they're throwing a party for me this Friday.



Isn't that exciting?! I was so surprised. Plus, she complimented me on my work ethic. I felt so appreciated. I'm going to miss this job. Hopefully I'll get a job with HC this summer.




I've kept you waiting long enough, let's get to the quote of the day (Jan 14th):

"You are what you say you are. Saying something aloud gives life (belief) to the said statement. Say positive things (no matter how far fetched you think they may be) and watch them appear before your eyes."

I have something to share two things with you. These are not sexy.



I hate Long John's. I think if they were called "LJ's" I'd wear them with pride. Today I'm wearing them and I'm sweating like a lamb in a slaughterhouse.

AND...



HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY GRAHAM! I love you man! BROMANCE lol! Don't do anything I wouldn't do (which means you can do whatever the hell you want lol).

I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

My Life on the spin cycle

Hello again.  (God, you're beautiful.)  I am back home in New York City and it's been marvelous.  I haven't really done anything thus far on my thanksgiving break.  However, laundry and cleaning house (literally) is a handful.  First, I need to share with you my feelings about coming home.  As college students know parents have the tendency to redesign your room when you're away at school.  Well in my case, my entire family has had a hand in the designs.

  

(this is not a picture of my actual room...but you should get the point)

My little sister's Coach sneakers and knitting material were in my room, my mother's Bloomingdales bills were on my desk, my uncle's bank statements were on my desk as well and my little sister babysits two messy children, that frequent my video game collection and bed.  This is highly unacceptable!  I don't go into their rooms and leave my belongings where I please; the nerve!

Anyway, life in the big city is as good as you make it and I'm washing clothes,  go figure.

Do you see how beautiful my city is?  It's gorgeous!

I just wanna say when I'm 26, in my loft in SoHo, approving the final manuscript layout for the next issue of Details Magazine to be published the next day (since I'll be editor-in-chief), I'm sure I won't be doing my own laundry.  I hope you all have goals and wish to achieve them sometime soon because a wasted dream is the worst thing to own.  With that being said, here is the quote for today, Nov. 24th:

"A goal's main purpose is to be achieved.  If it isn't achieved then it becomes a wasted idea.  Never lay a goal to rest because someone else might have other plans for it."

You better chase those goals until they become reality.  That's what I'm doing and I wish you all the best with your goals.  Make a million a reality.  Stay true.

Lately,

Gabriel Anderson