Spring Has Sprung

Duckies!!!
Oh my stars it has been forever and an eternity since we've last encountered each other's sexiness.  It has been exactly a month since my last post and I sincerely apologize for the long-time coming.

The reason I've been gone so long is I've been remodeling my room.  I know you're asking yourself, "Well what the fcuk does that have to do with uploading new posts?"  Well duckies, my room is pretty much the room of multimedia: the WI-FI connection is in my room and the house phone as well.  And since my room needed a complete overhaul, everything needed to be taken out.

I used to have carpet, now I have hardwood flooring.  My room used to be powder blue and white, now it's purple (plum) with grey (dolphin fin) trimming.

(I am not making these colors up. Behr paint actually labeled these as the colors.)

Anyway, the contrast of the deep purple and grey trimming gives so much vibrancy to my room.  In addition to the new flooring and paint-job, I also acquired some new furniture.  I'm in the process of getting a new bed.  If you can believe it I've actually been living on a spring Twin-sized mattress for several years now.  Not the Twin-XL mattresses that college dorms have but something a bit smaller.

Ergo, I am upgrading to a Full-sized memory foam mattress.  I cannot wait to get my new bed.  I had a memory foam mattress topper/pad on my previous bed and that was the most enjoyable part.  Now when I get an actual bed made entirely out of the pad I had...I will never leave my bed.

I'm also making a galvanized trashcan into an industrial coffee table for my room.  I'm going to flip the lid over and use adhesive to hold it in place, and I'm going to place Plexi-glass over the upturned lid to make into a table.  Creative right?!  I will post pictures of my room as soon as everything is in place.  I promise.

The picture of that sexy man in bed (above) reminded me of something.  Recently I've been really hooked on Andrew Christian underwear.  What?!  You've never heard of Andrew Christian underwear?  Well unless you're gay I wouldn't be surprised.  Andrew Christian is an American designer that specializes in creating sexy underwear for men.  He also sells streetwear and other pieces...but his underwear are timeless pieces themselves.  Whenever my check comes in I immediately go to AndrewChristianshop.com and pick up a few new pairs.  I only have about eight pairs but I love them.  I just got some new ones today and I can't wait to shake my ass in them.

(Some of the sexy garments are what I call "sexually-able," meaning you don't even need to take them off for certain bedding activities.)

In other news, work has just been fantastic.  I'm in charge of about 20+ wedding registries now and I'm starting to get a better grip on what makes a registry special and well-rounded.  This past weekend one of my couples even bought me an iced coffee from Starbucks.  And to top it off when they got home they emailed the company, telling them I went above and beyond my job at making them feel welcome and provided outstanding customer service.

When I came into work all the supervisors that saw me congratulated me on my compliment.  One of my co-workers, who was also mentioned in the email as well, printed out the email with the compliment...AND AT THE TOP THE REGIONAL MANAGER OF MANHATTAN EVEN COMMENTED ON IT!

I met her before.  She was actually one of the people that interviewed me for the job.  But to actually see that she complimented me on top of my couple's compliment made it even better. I feel fabulous!

I've been trying to revamp my music and Fall Out Boy's "Save Rock and Roll" and Brian Slade's "Dawn O' the Unicorn" have been lodged in my ears as of recent.

I haven't really liked Fall Out Boy's music since their 2007 release of "Infinity on High."  But once again they have found their way to make me lip-sync their lyrics while I'm waiting for the train.  With their hardcore opening song "The Phoenix" I was captivated and instantly enticed by their cool, yet angst-filled vocals.  Courtney Love, Elton John, Big Sean, and others are featured on some of their tracks and it doesn't feel forced at all.  Fall Out Boy is back and kicking ass more than ever.

I know I'm like three years late but I know it now.  Brian Slade (aka B. Slade, aka Tonéx) has got me moving and shaking my ass to his 2010 mixtape "Dawn O' the Unicorn."  My absolute favorite song on this mixtape, thus far, is "Get Over You (Extended Ballroom Mix)." I literally heard this song yesterday, thanks to my dear friend Jessie, and I cannot stop playing it.  It makes me wanna prance and do a hair-flip.

I just feel so gay when I hear that song, like a should be in a musical or an Andrew Christian video.

Besides that everything has been pretty awesome on this end.  I've seen "Pain & Gain," via the Internet.  (Don't judge me.)

I thought the film was going to be incredibly stupid...but I was extremely mistaken.  I haven't laughed so hard during a movie since "EVIL DEAD."  There are some quotes that still make me giggle if I think too hard about them.  If I recite them among friends, it takes me awhile to get through them.  This movie is a great watch.

In addition, I went to see "Iron Man 3" in theaters with my parents, a couple weeks ago.

But get this...we went to a theater called Cinema Suites in West Orange, NJ where you watched the movie and people came and served you actual food.  I'm not talking hot dogs and popcorn.  I mean they had cocktails, steaks, seafood, Asian cuisine, Mexican cuisine, comfort food, burgers, the whole-fucking-nine-yards!  And you sat in these red plush leather reclining seats that had buttons on the side of them to beckon your server!  It felt like I was in a business class flight, without the fear of plunging to my death at any moment.

I knew this film was going to be incredible because of the amazing trailers.  When I first saw the trailer in the theaters, I believe I was seeing "The Great & Powerful Oz."  I actually teared-up when I saw the trailer.  I did the same at certain parts in the movie too.  But to those who haven't seen it, go and see it.  "Iron Man 3" is hilarious and action-packed.  I didn't expect it to be so funny but there were so many moments where I had to compose myself.  Stay after the credits.  There's a funny little bit at the end.

OH! Speaking of composing myself Beyoncé's song "Grown Woman" has recently been leaked and it just came on as I was blogging and I had to take a minute to choreograph it. It makes me want to shake my ass until I pass out.

(I wouldn't mind waking up to that every morning!)

Speaking of waking up every morning to something, I have been talking to this guy for like close to two weeks now.  I met him online.  Yes, I said it.  Duckies, I have been an online boy for quite sometime now and I've met a few good guys on there.  (I've met plenty of beautiful cocks and masterpiece asses as well.)  But overall the guys online are just raging homosexuals with self-esteem issues, diseases, and/or are mentally-unstable.

I admit, we all have needs.  Sometimes mine seem insatiable and I'll randomly hookup with a guy.  But after I cum I'm just like "Oh God, why did I sleep with this monster?"  But really I'm one too during my moments of weakness.  (This is why I've invested in a sex toy.  I've had a Fleshlight since last September and it has kept me home more times than I've gotten "take-out."  If you're a man and you don't know what a Fleshlight is, go look it up.  It's fucking amazing, literally LOL).

Anyway, back to this dude.

I know it's kind of early to predict any kind of future with this dude but I actually see something blossoming with him, whether it's a lifetime friendship or my soulmate.  (I'm not gonna let him see this because I don't want him to know that I'm feeling him so already.  Let's meet first and then we'll go from there.  Wish me luck duckies!)

Speaking of soulmates, the dude I'm talking to told me about this dog quiz I could take on AnimalPlanet.com to see what dog I'm most compatible with.  I did my research, in addition to taking the quiz, and I'm going to start looking for breeders/shelters that specialize in Pembroke Welsh Corgis.

Look at how fucking adorable this little creature is!!!

It's a medium dog and it loves to run around and it loves playing.  But what really sold me on this particular breed is the fact that it's a herding dog and if left around little children, it will herd them like cattle.  How funny is that?!  Just picturing this little dog nipping at the heels of babies makes me want to hug and spoil it.

So once I get my bed and then my phone, I'm going to get a Pembroke Welsh Corgi puppy and make him my canine soulmate.

I think I've filled you with enough of my life for one post because that's pretty much all I have to say.  Let's get to the Word of the Week, which I must give credit to my friend Stephen for making me laugh at this one.

Relationshit (pronounced ree-lay-shun-shh-et): a mutual bond between two or more people that has made a turn for the worse; an undesirable relationship that has gone through terrible circumstances and situations; when a bitch doesn't know when to let go!

Example: "In the beginning my husband and I loved each other so much.  But after fifteen years of marriage, our bond has boiled down to an ugly relationshit.

Time for some "Words of Wisdom."

"Even though the path may be dark, use your own light to see your way through.  Although others may try to hinder you from your goal you must look deep within yourself to carry on.  And remember, no one knows you better than yourself.  Keep on pushing."

Okay my loves, I think that'll do for today.  I promise to keep you posted since my room is back in action.  My schedule is never set in stone and I used to be off on Mondays but that changed so I will give you a heads-up on FaceBook days in advance, to let you know when I'll be posting, week by week.  If you don't have my FaceBook link here it is: facebook.com/antoine.gardner9.

I love you for reading.  Have a fabulous week duckies!

-Gabriel Anderson

Dodging Balls

Hey my loves!  I know you all are doing well because life is meant to be lived in happiness, not in strife.  This week has been pretty eventful.  Last week I remember mentioning going to my friend's house to hang out.  We did some adult things--not sex, silly duckies--and we watched episodes of "Family Guy."  The last time I saw them was around my birthday and by birthday I mean the day of my 24th year on Earth, where I was throwing up in an ex-friend's backyard.

Oh yes!  I have dismissed someone of my friendship this week.  I'm not going to lie and say he wasn't a friend to me at certain points...but he has become such a miserable and disrespectful person.  I know that I am not the easiest person to deal with sometimes but this dude was always a downer.  He'd always take things so personal and swore he was some type of gangsta.  I'm sorry but we both we to the same performing arts school from 5th to 12th grade.  If you know pieces by Schubert, Bach, Beethoven  and contemporary composers by heart, you're no one's gangsta.

Plus his lifestyle wasn't much of anything credible and he didn't seem to mind it.  He wasn't trying to better his life.  He would just wallow and smoke away his problems and complain, complain, complain.  So one thing led to another and we got into a verbal altercation via text and we ended our friendship.  Honestly, he was just a decent connect for "okay" weed.  But I do wish him well...

You know the saying, "When one door closes, another one opens?"  Well, it's ridiculous how doors open for me when I close others.  When I got off work this past Saturday my phone was dying but I was trying to call my friends to see if they wanted to hang out.  The few people I did call to hang out didn't pick up.  (Yes if you received a call from me Saturday night and you didn't pick up, you are now a cunt in my book; especially if you haven't returned my call yet.)

Anywho, no one picked up so I decided to head home.  As I was in about to go to the lower level of the train station, I noticed someone's bright neon jacket...and saw that it was my friend Jessie that I haven't seen in close to two years!  She was running for the train and totally didn't even see me so I ran behind her and when I got on the train I tapped her on the shoulder.  She turned around and her face lit up faster than flash cotton in a grease fire!

She couldn't believe it was me and she kept telling me "I'm going to embarrass you on this train!"  I was just so happy to see her that I don't even think I had time to be embarrassed.  I told her I was just getting off work and I told her I wanted to do something...AND SHE INVITED ME OVER!  

We spent the night gossiping, laughing, and just loving each other.  It was magical!

In less than twenty-four hours I got rid of one disrespectful, anger-filled reject and replaced him with an angelic, beautiful, and vivacious lady.

Since we're on the topic of vivacity, I'm gonna tell you what happened to me today.  Well I had to stop by my psychiatrist's office to pick up a prescription--only the best for Gabe--and on my way home a young boy got on the train.  He seemed nice...until he started dribbling/bouncing his basketball on the train.  Everyone was looking at him like he had grown three heads and they had every right.  This little Hispanic kid kept dribbling his ball until he got a seat and then he stopped to eat a gold-wrapped chocolate coin. (Yes I just pulled out the race umbrella, but remember I did talk about those bad-ass black kids last week.)

I thought his antics were over but after resting and stuffing his face with his gold-wrapped chocolate coin, he cringes up the foil, tosses it under the seat, and starts acting as if the train car is his own personal gym.  He became the superhero Flash, well he tried.  He was using people as "prop players" by "breaking" them and pump-faking in their faces and he used the poles as training posts to maneuver around.  He got really close to me and I was hoping he'd just trip or topple over...but instead his basketball fell on one of my pink Polo sneakers.

Before recovering his ball, he looked me in the face and said "I'm so sorry."  This little boy looked like he was about to shit his shorts but that didn't stop me from hating him and glaring at him behind my Ray-Bans.  I wanted to say something, to speak for my fellow public transportation patrons.  But everything that came to mind would make me look like the new bad guy or it ended with me in jail.  So I didn't say anything and he took that as his cue to escape.  But for the rest of my train ride he made sure to stay away from my side of the car.

In other news, I still love my job and pretty much love it even more now.  I had the cutest couple come in and we spent close to four hours walking around and adding gifts to their registry.  They are so sweet and I wish them the best life together.  Their love is the love that inspires me to wait for the right one and to stop forcing people into someone I think might be right for me.  Love doesn't come prepackaged and handed to you.  Love is like making the perfect batch of brownies.  It doesn't come to you when you force it.  It comes when you pay attention to detail and accept the ingredients into your life.  After mixing them with knowledgeable experience, then you can put that bad boy in the oven and you'll know exactly when it's ready...or you can burn the house down too.

What the fuck am I blabbering about?  I'm tired LOL.  Let's get to this week's Word of the Week. 

Marriable (pronounced mae-ree-uh-bul): eligible to partake in matrimony; one who is a bachelor or bachelorette; a single person.

Ex: "Gabe, that girl over there is so hot.  You think I can get her number?"

"You can try but by the ring on her finger, it doesn't look like she's marriable."

Now it's time for some Words of Wisdom.

"Only the boring get bored.  But if you do become bored exit your comfort zone and try something new.  Make today more interesting than yesterday and make tomorrow a promise.  Live life like a flamboyant ninja."

I'm so excited for this week.  With my new check I'll be able to pay off my gym membership from last year and start a new one because ain't nobody got time for fat! (I stole that from my friend Tracie and Sweet Brown.)  And there's an event for school's alumni to come meet up and drink in the city...AND IT'S FOUR BLOCKS AWAY FROM MY JOB! MADNESS!

I think I've said enough for this week's post.

Have a fabulous week and keep it sassy.

I love you for reading!

-Gabriel Anderson

Do What Makes You Happy

Hola duckies!

Excuse my Spanglish.  I'm feeling very spicy today.  I figured since my posts are pretty lengthy, I will post once a week from now on.  Monday evenings sound about right.  Yes, I said it: NEW POSTS EVERY MONDAY!  Yaaaaay! Gabe is back, bitches!

There is so much gossip to spill and I am ready to share it with you all.  I want to get something off my chest first.  

For all of my fellow classmates that have big boy and girl jobs, I applaud you.  I asked a wise man--he's 30 with a PHD and lives the life I desire--so he's wise in my book--a question.  He's always in different parts of the world every other day.  He's so damn sexy and his passport is his best friend.  I asked him what his secret was...do you know what he said?  He told me, "Antoine, do what makes you happy."

This simple statement moved me.  Do what makes you happy.  I had to think what makes me happy.  I thought of writing, acting, and being with my real friends...not the people I hang out with just because sometimes friends come in a package deal. (Mhmmm, I said it.)

Writing makes me happy and I forgot how therapeutic and freeing it is.  Writing for me isn't just putting words onto a piece of paper, or monitor.  Writing is an orgasmic mind release that enables me to express myself in a way speech cannot at times.  You can ask any of my good friends who have received cards or letters, (yes, I still write letters to people), from me.  I put my all into every word I place in sentences.  Sentences are the bridges I use to touch the hearts of others and I forgot how much I loved doing it.  So now I'm gonna do what makes me happy.  I'm gonna pick up where I left off on May 16, 2010.  It's been close to a three year break of recovery and laziness, but I'm here and it's time to be strategic and get my life back in order.

Speaking of strategy, my last job ended in December, and by ended I mean I was fired.  Long story short the assistant principal of the school hated me and fired me because I called out like twice.  I don't regret getting fired.  It was kind of liberating.

Being fired by someone you hate coming to work to see, because they're a complete and utter fucking cunt, is like getting hugged by the Snuggle bear.

The only thing I do miss about working at the school is the kids.  Some were complete terrors but some could make you cry just from seeing them march down the halls in their school uniform.  One kid in particular used to run up to me and hug my leg whenever he saw me.  His name was Valentino and he pulled my heartstrings with his cuteness.  He is one of the reasons why I want to have kids: that pure innocence and acceptance of life.  Thank you Valentino for making my life better, one leg-hug at a time.

Anywho, I was talking about strategy and got distracted by cute memories.  I have an interview with Bed, Bath, & Beyond tomorrow morning.  I really want this job because I have never seen a melancholy employee at any of their locations.  And all of them seem so knowledgeable.

I landed the interview because I went to this awesome job fair in the city and the hiring manager/scouts loved my energy.  This is exactly how it went when I approached their job station.

"Oh hi, I'm Antoine Gardner.  Let me just start by telling you how much I love your products."

(Laughter ensues) "Thank you Antoine."

"You're more than welcome.  I was wondering what positions you have available in the city," I said pulling out my resume.

 "Well have you ever worked in retail?"

"I have actually.  I worked at the NBA store, when they were on fifth avenue.  It was an eye-opening experience.  I got up, close, and personal with tourists in ways I didn't think were possible."

(Laughter ensues again.) "Well, what department would you like to work in, if hired?"

(Pause) "I honestly don't know.  I would say bedding but that's pretty much one-third of the store--"

"How about our baby and bridal registry department?"

"OH MY GOD, YESSS!" (Realizing I pretty much just screamed at the hiring manager.) "I'm so sorry that I got that excited.  That sounds perfect."

(She laughs.) "We do need people with personality, Antoine.  We'll make sure to call you for an interview."

And BAM, a couple days later someone called me to set up my interview.

In other news, I have become obsessed with the show "The Walking Dead."

I accidentally become a fan because everyone on Earth has been raving about it, so I gave the pilot episode a go on Netflix.  And before I knew it I was up around 5AM finishing the second season.  Now I'm fully-versed with what exactly is happening and I watch the new episodes on AMC on Sunday, 9PM EST.  For those who think it's just about zombies and how they are terrorizing the world, you are sadly mistaken.  I believed this before I watched the show as well.  The show is a perfect portrayal of what would happen if a worldwide epidemic would happen and it shows how people would probably really act in given situations.  In most cases it's not the zombies you have to worry about.  Sometimes it's your best friend that's trying to kill you in your sleep or when you two are trapped by zombies are there's no escape.  It's a series that showcases the primal instincts and character of people stuck in a world where the only possible glimmer of hope is the strength in numbers and your willingness to do what it takes to survive.  So if you have a chance, give "The Walking Dead" a peek.  You won't regret it.  And if you do, there are tons of other shows that come on Sunday.  Two of my favorite Sunday evening programs happen to be (The United States version) "Shameless" and "GIRLS." 

I love "Shameless" because it's about a family that goes through Hell pretty much every episode and it's very entertaining.  

And of course I like it because one of the main characters is gay and I see some penis in some episodes.  What? I'm gay.  I'm being honest.  I see enough boobs on pretty much every show, so of course I'm going to watch a show where there's a penis shown here and there.

"Shameless" comes on Sundays on Showtime at 9PM EST.  Check it out duckies.

"GIRLS" is a show that focuses around the life of a girl named Hannah.  Hannah is a girl who recently graduated college and is trying to find her place in life.  She's a writer and recently got an e-book deal...but there's a lot more to the story.  

The main character, Hannah, is played by the creator of the show and it is loosely based on her life and her friends.  It is so real that sometimes I find myself quoting scenes from the show and thinking, "Oh my God.  I am so Hannah right now." "GIRLS" speaks to me so vividly because it represents the struggle of the post-grad person of my generation and how crazy life is when shit happens.  The show touches on sex, passion about life, and love for yourself and others.  Do yourself a favor and go check it out!  It comes on Sundays on HBO at 10PM EST.

Since we're on the topic of love, I just realized that I've been single since the middle of my Junior year in college.  That's close to five years!!!

Trust me, it hasn't been a lonely five year stint.  I've dated some great guys and I've dated some crazies...actually they all ended up crazy or they ended up telling me they were HIV+.  (Don't worry, I didn't have sex with the positive dudes.  I'm still negative and I plan on keeping it that way.)  But my luck with men has not been the greatest and I think I know the reason.  I haven't found the "right one" because I'm not the right one for someone else.  Hear me out.  I know that I'm intelligent, funny, handsome, and other good things...but dates cost money lol.  

I need to find myself in the real world before I can share my life with someone else.  More importantly although it would be nice to cuddle myself to sleep with a dashing fella, I need to worry more about where I see myself in five years, five months, and fifteen days: I'll be 30 by then.  So for now I'll talk to boys and bat my lashes at them but I need to focus on me.  As Sheree from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" said, "Love don't pay the bills." LOL

I know my knight in shining Ferragamo will sweep me off my feet soon enough...but universe, could you tell him to hurry up a bit, pretty please?

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you what happened to me and Elle Fox the other day,  We were at her friend's house and we were about to leave.  As we're walking toward the foyer of the lobby, we see this woman standing outside the door.  She looked as though she were waiting for someone and she wasn't looking at us.  When we got to the foyer we stopped and started talking to Elle's friend, trying to decide what to do next.  The lady scowled at us and said, "Oh you guys are gonna act like a bunch of assholes and not open the door?!"

Mind you the entrance to the foyer is pretty much all glass and I was the closest to it, so I heard her very clearly.  I swear to God, if I didn't go through therapy for my "anger issues," I probably would have blacked out and came to with my hands around her neck.  The nerve of that lady!  But as a civil human being I just opened the door for her, with her saying an unpleasant, "Thank you," and hoped her cable company shut her TV off that evening.

Anyway, since it's been a week since my last post, it's only fair that I give you loves a new WORD OF THE WEEK.

This WORD OF THE WEEK is F.I.D (which is actually an acronym).

FID (noun: pronounced as one word, fid): a man who is in denial of his homosexuality; one who fights with his inner urges to be with a man intimately; a "faggot" in denial.

Example: "I don't know why Doug is so homophobic. We all know he's gay.  He's such a nasty little fid."

I must say I do loathe the use of the word "faggot" but if you give anything power over you, it weakens you.  And anything that weakens you puts a limit on your life and I want to live mine to the fullest.

But right now, it's time for some Words of Wisdom.

"Love is what you make it.  It's not always pretty.  It's not always sane.  But I can tell you one thing: love is what makes you crack a smile when you're ugly crying.  Real love is when you still do nice things for someone, even if you don't like them at the moment.  Love responsibly and love with your whole being."

Okay duckies, I gotta go.  I have a Rib-Eye steak and squash dinner awaiting my mouth.  Plus I have to watch my "RuPaul's Drag Race" tonight.

Check out the new episode tonight at 9PM, on LOGO.  New episodes come on every Monday around that time! You betta werk!

I love you for reading.  See you next week, loves!

-Gabriel Anderson