The Slopes

Duckies, OMG. This weekend has been so sasstasic...and sometimes not in a good way. But I survived and that's what counts most. There was sooooo much drama. I felt like I was stuck in an episode of "The Hills."

(We'll call Hartford "The Slopes" since its always flooding.)

You know how "The Hills" doesn't have any real drama: someone getting hit by a car, declaring bankruptcy, going to rehab? No one even cuts themselves while chopping food in the kitchen.


Well that's exactly how it was this weekend.

More importantly, there were so many divine parties...it was insane.

Shout-out to Josh, Gideon, Andrea, Penelope, Victoria, Diana, Phillip, Sarah, Alyssa, Shane, Mara, Nik, Molly Red, Bill, Steph, Samantha, Alice, BB, Francis, Monica, Yunie, Rockstar, Graham, Evy and anyone else I forgot.

I had fun. Toward the end of Friday night Mara, Samantha, Alice, Francis and I were relaxing and conversing. All of sudden we spot some books Samantha has to read for her student teaching. These books were so emo!



I remember this one book: "Flyaway Home." It was about an impoverished father and son who lived in an airport because they couldn't afford to live in a house. It was so wrong and we were so into those books. It was like "The Pursuit of Happyness: Airport Blues."

Kids need to enjoy their lives before we ravish them with the uglies of the world: they are the future!

Anywho, the next day (Saturday) I went shopping with Monica and Yunie. It was magnificent.

I purchased a few (HOT) shirts, a ring and a chic facial cleanser. I had so much fun. It was a true adventure and my spirits are so high right now. I'm like two good deeds away from being Jesus' publicist. Wooohuh!

Later on in that night I hung out with the A-List kids and the jetsetters: we move the world!



We stayed in: gossiped and swallowed juicy news, poked fun at each other's beauty and spoke about our futures. It was marvelous. Soon thereafter Alyssa and I were having jam sessions to "If I Were A Boy" and other hits. (You are the true definition of a queen, darling.)



In other news, last night Sigma Nu had their (revamped) annual Steak Dinner.



It was scrumptious. My people-friends and I were in V.I.P. and we kicked back, soaking in the glamour. Ugh, the aura of class that exuded from the event was so regal. And the paparazzi were going Gaga at our tables.



Speaking of celebrities, there was a fabulous performance by "Fergie" at the steak dinner.



I loved your red dress, you sexy sugar-muffin; just wanna take a bite out of your supple face and sell it on eBay. Wooohuh!

Enough with the celebrity dishes, let's clean this post up with some "Words of Wisdom."

"The only person in the way of your dreams is yourself. Big dreams can be accomplished if you commit yourself to the task and do whatever it takes. Believe in yourself and love your life. Magical things will happen."

With that being said you beautiful duckies, it's time for me to hit the sack.
I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

The Cocoa Dust Wars

Morning duckies! Yeah, yeah I was tired last night so I'm posting now. (DON'T SASS ME!) I hope all is well because that's how life should be.
I've been noticing that my favorite color combo, pink & brown, are popping up in more places than usual.



I just love the two colors together because the pink is so precious and innocent and the (chocolate) brown is seductive and smooth. It's like a color orgasm.

Anywho, speaking of sexy on my way to work (like a few minutes ago) there was the cutest little kid sitting next to me. He had very light skin, curly brown hair and gorgeous eyes. He was so beautiful that I wanted to cry because God made a child as beautiful as I am an adult; he was really that beautiful! I want my children to look just like him. My children's names are going to be:

Graham Aiden Gardner


and

Kaleigh Jade Gardner


....aren't those such precious children?! I can't wait to have them in my life. (But I'm getting a nanny because I don't do clean-up or vomit control. Oh nooooo! Woooohuh!)

Speaking of children, you guys remember that sexy pea coat I bought to be this year's winter coat?
(To refresh your memory, here's a shot!)



Well...this coat is a lint magnet. It's like having a child! I have to lint brush it and check for any abnormalities every morning. (Yes, I said children are like pea coats.) If children are like pea coats...I can wait lol. In regards to my pea coat, I forgot to lint brush it yesterday and I felt like a shaggy dog.



Plus, I felt like everyone was looking at me on the train...like hardcore staring at me.



But I came to the conclusion that people stare at what they want the most. So BAM....I'm just that damn irresistible lol.

(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IMAGE IS TOTALLY DISGUSTING!!!)
Speaking of trains...I saw something disgusting in the back of the 6 train 51st Street train station.
I go to the back of the train because the rush hour crowd is unbearable toward the front. Anyway, I was waiting for the train (jamming to Beyonce of course) and I see something out the corner of my eye. Thinking I saw like a rat or something I look down to see...


(THIS IS THE ACTUAL PICTURE!)

HOBO DROPPINGS!!!! EWWWWW! It looked so dry too. So dry that if the owner of these droppings farted on the train, doo-doo dust would contaminate the air. It would look like Cocoa dust. (Could you imagine that? Bums using their doo-doo dust as means of biological warfare?! It would be called "The Cocoa Dust War.")

SCARY!

Enough of that...let's get to the quote of the day, Jan 13th:

"Everything happens for a reason. The good things are awards we truly deserve and the bad things are tools that help us appreciate those well-deserved awards. Appreciate everything."

I'd like to give a shout-out to my little brother/son Dante for calling me the other night. I can't go to bed without speaking to someone on the phone and Dante saved the day. Thanks Dante.



Last night my friend Sean, whom I haven't spoken to in ages, called me last night. We were sassing each other in sport and it was a delight to hear his voice. Love you Sean!

(Random...a mail guy just passed my office blaring Beyonce's "Halo" from his headphones. She's taking over the world and I love it!)

Today is going to be fabulous. I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

The Hobo Wears Prada

Good morning duckies. Sorry that this blog is being posted late. Yesterday I didn't get my daily Starbucks fix so I was tiiiiired. I was falling asleep at my desk and when I got home...I was a Wii zombie. Anywho, these recent Dunkin' Donuts commercials are pissing me off.



From what I've seen just about every morning, more people prefer Starbucks over Shunkin' Donuts. (You know you got the joke!) I love the warm, roasted coffee bean flavor that Starbucks provides. It makes me so toasty and euphoric in the morning. Anyway, let's get to yesterday's topics!

As said before I didn't have my daily Starbucks fix so my coordination was off. In the kitchen area I was conversing with someone in our production department (having a good ol' time) but then someone came behind me. I moved out of her way (because she was holding a mug of hot water) and I accidentally bumped into a pile of empty water cooler jugs.



How embarrassing?! I don't think anybody cared that I bumped into them but I was so ashamed. It made such a loud noise. I'm surprised no one ran out of their office panicking lol. Even though my coordination was off, my work ethic wasn't affected.

Yesterday I was given a project: to create a Facebook page for my department, "Eos Books." (Add "EOS Books" as a friend on Facebook so you can see my hard work.)



They thought it would take me a couple days to create but I did it all in one day. I was so proud of myself. And I felt sooooo good when everyone complimented me on my efficiency and within minutes most of the department added "EOS Books" as a friend on Facebook. (Thank you to those who have already 'friended' "EOS Books." My heart goes out to you.

Anywho, after a long day at work I just wanted to go home and rest. But my train rides home are never dull. Halfway through my train ride a family comes into my train car, with the usual:
"Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, my family and I are homeless and...blah-blah-blah. We sing for money, blah-blah-blah. Blaaaaaah!"
Anyway, they start jamming and by reflex I check out their clothing, to see if they're legit. I look at one of the kids' clothing and one of them had on new-like Prada sneakers.



WTF? If bums get to wear Prada, sign me up for poverty! Plus one of the kids had these hot glasses that I recently saw in American Apparel. Oh no; I was not dishing out any of my money. I love my Caramel Macchiattos too much. They were scam bums. Their outfits (almost, but not really) looked as nice as mine.

Speaking of nice outfits, I'm going to a free screening of "The Unborn" tonight.



(Yes, the life of a celebrity is never done.) I'm taking Devin as my guest. I'm so excited to be scared sh%^less! It takes me awhile to get over scary movies. Since it's Jan 8th, I'll probably still be scared until (hmmmmmmm) early February lol. Yeah, it's that real. OMG! Speaking of real,

""

premiered last night. I was so tired that I was falling asleep during the hour-long episode. The first episode was "okay" but the season looks like it's going be phenomenal. By the way, I'm so glad they have an articulate, attractive and educated A-A on the show. Woooohuh! Go A-A's!
(For those new to the acronym, "A-A's" are African-Americans. Gosh...lol)

On other notes, I'd like to take time to thank everyone who has been commenting and reading my blog. Without you guys this would be a sassy waste of space on the Internet.

You guys don't know how much I appreciate you.
Here are some shout-outs!

• Corey
• Alice
  
• Melissa
• Graham
  
• Skyler
• Naomi
  
• Nikki
• Tonya
• Melrose
• Lily
• Gupta
  
• Francis
• Alyssa
• Diamond
  
• Fellow bloggers: Rockstar, Prof. Breeze, Media Princess, Reily, etc.
  
• (this list is getting too long) and everyone who tells me to keep doing my "my thing."
  

I love you all!
With that being said let's get to the quote of the day, Jan 8th:

"Always carry yourself with poise because it makes you more memorable than others. Be civil and classy. (And guess what?) More people notice you than you think."

I just finished my Caramel Macchiato and it just started my engines. It's time to work! I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true duckies.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson