Sunday, November 30, 2008

The World Runs on Sass (Sass Update #3)

Why are you so gorgeous? I mean God wasn't playing around when he created you...stop putting me to shame. Okay, let me stop. You're gorgeous but God definitely took time with me. (Love you!) Anywho, I hope you all had an enjoyable weekend, mine was incredibly laid back. I am so disappointed with the recent SNL episodes. Without Maya Rudolph and Tina Fey, the show is just going to Hell. Furthermore, these new cast members aren't all! I really don't like that new, crazy cast member Nancy Wilson; she sucks! But nothing beats how crazy my parents get when it comes to Thanksgiving Break traffic.
As you may know I cannot drive. I do not have a permit, license or the knowledge to drive. (I'm from New York City. I can take a bus or train wherever I really need to go; DON'T JUDGE ME!) So back to my parents, they are the best and the craziest. I was back on campus today (November 30th) at 11am. We left my house around 8:30am. Who the hell does that lol? But guess what? That's actually the latest I've returned to campus after Thanksgiving Break.
On the last day of my first Thanksgiving Break as a freshmen in college, I got home around 4:30am from partying in the city. (Hey, I like to party! Don't sass me.) I went to bed as soon as I got in the house and immediately fell asleep. At 4:36am (I kid you not) my mother walks into my room screaming: "Antoine! Wake up! We gotta beat traffic. We gotta get you up there before everyone else gets the same idea. Get up!"
Do you know how much I wanted to sass her with my fists? I was so angry. But then again, I did stay out late the night before I was going back to school. Anywho, I ended up being back on campus at 8:30am. Ridiculous. There wasn't any car in sight on the highway. It was just us and the road. The Sun wasn't even awake yet. But all sass aside, I love my parents to death and I don't care how early they drive me back. But it wouldn't hurt if they didn't sass me before dawn lol.
Oh! I have a sass update for you. On our way back to campus today we stopped at Dunkin Donuts for our daily coffee fix and the clerk was such a sasstress! But get this, her sass was toward me only. My dad ordered his stuff (before me) without any sass and then she asked:
"Is that all?" I interjected, asking "may I please have a medium iced coff-..." then she cuts me off and asks my dad what he wanted again. How dare she? I would have dunked her face in all those donuts behind her if I wasn't so tired from my city festivities. She was just jealous that I had future that didn't involve brewing coffee and preparing processed flatbread sandwiches. Anywho, she took my order eventually (after taking my mother's order). She made me a Hell of a medium Hazelnut iced coffee. I didn't thank her. Sorry, she sassed me and God occupationally-sassed her. She is now in the doghouse.
Speaking about my future I can't wait for it to tackle me with glamor. And when thinking about my future I can't help but think about my past; more specifically babysitting my little sister Gabriella. She now has a babysitting job and she had to babysit these two wild children this past Saturday. My mom and I just listened to her scream "LISTEN!" like a hundred times. But occasionally a "shut-up," "stop it," "stop hitting him," or "you sit over there" was sprinkled between her frequent hollering. I love her to death.
With that being said, it's time to give you the quote of the day for December 1st (OMG, it's December already):

"Procrastination is poisonous. Waiting until the last minute to achieve something adds stress to your life; plus life is meant to be lived in the 'now.' Don't wait to the last minute to take charge of your life. It starts now."

I'd like to give a shout-out to my new friend Eddie. He's awesome by the way. LOL, okay kids it's time for bed. Don't let the sass get to ya. Stay true.

Gabriel Anderson