My duckies! Oh my stars it has been forever since we last had any interaction. It's been eight months...but who's counting?!
I've come to the conclusion that I have been in my own way ever since I graduated from school. Given I underwent two nervous breakdowns--one during the summer of 2010 and another the following year, (which I'm pretty sure was a direct effect of me going through withdrawals from not taking my medication)--but I don't have any more excuses for this standstill I'm in. I've been holding myself back from adventure and employment because I'm picky.
I came to this realization toward the beginning of this month. I received a call from a random organization saying that I applied to one of their positions and they were willing to offer me a job. (I most likely did because I tend to just apply to any job on my iPhone, using the Monster and Indeed job applications.) Well this guy gave me the details for the job...and I immediately declined. The job was an administrative assistant position--one where I over-qualify--and it paid twelve dollars an hour. Fourteen an hour isn't bad...but twelve?! I want at least seventeen an hour. I think I deserve that much. But here was the catch to this job...IT WAS ONLY FOR SIX MONTHS, WITHOUT THE CHANCE OF REHIRING!!!
Since I graduated I've had nothing but temp jobs and I'll let you know this now: temping sucks. Every assignment is the same. Every boss thinks you're incompetent or a jackass because you're a temp. And once you prove them wrong and show them your worth, your assignment there is nearly over. In addition, most temp agencies have you sign a contract where if you work for a certain company, through them, you cannot work for the company as long as you're still employed by the agency...and sometimes you have to wait a year until you're no longer affiliated with the agency.
I feel as though I deserve a great job because I am an incredibly loyal employee. My work ethic is impeccable--if I love my job and sometimes even when I hate it--and I deserve a big boy job where I can start a career. I'm tired of being the new guy every other few months and having to kiss extra ass because my agency couldn't extend my stay at a particular assignment. So now I'm steering clear of temp agencies and I'm looking for a big boy job.
Speaking of a big boy job, I'm kind of heading in the right direction toward my dream profession as a published writer. I'm about one hundred and ten (plus) pages into my first memoir...and this writing site wants me to contribute to their blog. And not only that, they're considering publishing one of my pieces in their annual journal publication. If this happens this means I will officially be a writer in the eyes of the world.
To quote one of my favorite shows "GIRLS," "when most people say they want to write, they just want to stay home, eat, and, masturbate." And as of late I stopped just eating and masturbating. I'm writing everyday now too.
So the site is called Nomadic Sojourns Journal and the general theme behind the pieces they accept relate to movement. Now you must be thinking, in what regard exactly? My initial thought was this site was about breaking it down to "Single Ladies" or serving "Black Swan" realness!
However, it can mean that and many things. The Nomadic Sojourns Journal focuses on the movement of the mind, body, and spirit. It can focus on how moved you can be by watching your firstborn son excel at a spelling bee or watching an injured kitten hobble across an alley at night. Movement, in any sense, is the state of progressing into something you weren't before. Without movement life wouldn't exist or at least it wouldn't be worth living. The very essence of moving makes our blood flow, which makes our heart beat, and in effect enables us to live. With that being said I felt honored that such an institution extended their domain and literary hand to me.
Speaking of extending their hand to me, I've recently started talking to this older gentleman--for close to a month now--and he is smitten with me already. (Oh that SummerBoy Antonio or whatever his name was ended up being the craziest person I've ever fucked/dated/talked to ever. I mean I'm sure he was like a stage 10 bipolar asshole. One day he called me 28 times in a row and texted me over twenty hateful texts because he thought I was at another guy's house.)
Anyway back to this older gentleman. He's in his thirties, don't you dare judge me, and I enjoy his company. But once I "put it down" on him and found his "spot" he went from hardly picking up his phone to calling me multiple times a day. This always happens to me. The second I find a guy I think is sane and I think he can handle my sex, afterwards he becomes bat-shit bonkers.
I'm not bragging but (excuse my frank language) my head/fellatio skills are top-notch and once dudes get it once, they usually don't want it to be the last time. There's another thing that bothers me about this dude now though. He's in his thirties and he says in order for me to date him his family has to be okay with it.
I'm sorry I thought I was the younger one. You're thirty-six and you need approval from your family to date someone? Boy bye. Ain't nobody got time for that, right Sweet Brown?
I left my watch over at his house the other night and he just left for a month-long trip to the Dominican Republic...so I guess I'll just have to find another watch and another soon-to-be man lol.
Anywho, I have been asking the universe for some things (i.e. a job, a man, selflessness, etc.) and it has been giving me some okay results so I guess it's time to let the universe know what I really want. And what better way to do this than right here? So I'm just gonna put it out there via letter...
I would like to thank you for all that you have given me. You are magnificent and forever wonderful. I come to you now to ask you for a few things.
First and foremost I would like a great paying job that I love, preferably in the publishing and/or entertainment industry, that I can turn into a long-lasting career. I want this job to take me places that I can't even fathom. I am ready to put in the hard work and dedication needed to make a name for myself.
Second, I would like to move out of my family's home before this year is complete. It's been a fantastic and cushion-like twenty-four years but it's time to move out. Also, I would like a dependable roommate who won't ditch me last minute when it comes to rent or if we have plans (and they decide to go with another friend to a Nets game).
Third, I would like a gentleman lover between the age of 21 and 32. He has to be funny, intelligent, compassionate, a little sassy, fun to be around, attractive, and he has to have some kind of a passion. I love a man with passion, universe. (Don't get me started with that.) I want him to be able to make his own decisions and I am willing to make time for him and love him, only if he is willing to do the same. I want a man who is equally fun being around just eating Doritos and watching Netflix as he is going out for a night of drinks and dancing. Oh and he has to love cuddling and must be divine in bed. Okay, maybe not divine but he has to be able to make me desire him.
Fourth, I would like a better batch of friends. I want friends that don't just say "let's hang out." I want friends that actually call me to ask how I am and are just fine with coming over and talking. Why must we go out and get drunk to enjoy ourselves? I want some new ride-or-die buddies. I only have about four friends that I consider soulmates now, due to some unfortunate circumstances, but that's life.
Let's make this happen, universe.
I thank you.
I love you.
I need you.
I ask of you to believe in you, in order to receive from you.
Well, I think it's time for a new word of the week.
This WORD OF THE WEEK is: ASTRACTED (pronounced uh-strack-ted)
Astracted: When someone so beautiful comes into view that you become distracted by your attraction toward them.
Example: "Girl, I'm so sorry. I didn't hear a word you said. Jeremy just came into the room and I got so astracted."
Since I gave you a word of the week it's only fair that I leave you with some Words of Wisdom.
"Never be afraid to try something new. Professionals once were amateurs....but remember, amateurs built the arc. Professionals built the Titanic. Go build your arc and sail through your dreams."
Okay duckies, I promise that since I have so much time on my hands that I will post as much as I can. Oh and I'll make sure to keep you updated with my writing escapades with the Nomadic Sojourns Journal.
I love you for reading.