Monday, March 25, 2013

In Love

Hey there duckies!  I'm sure all is well on your end...and if things aren't just know that everything will be in time.
Loves, I am so in love...with my job.  I know it's only been a week (and it's only training/orientation) but I absolutely love working at Bed Bath & Beyond.  Tomorrow will be my first day in my actual department--Bridal Registry--and I'm so excited.  My direct manager seems so fun and I feel like we're going to have a great time working together.  I think I'm an invaluable employee because I always put 100% into every task given, if it's just doing something on Microsoft Excel.
Oh! You know how every job comes with a manual about your company, covering topics like sexual harassment, fraternizing, and other important matters?  Well I read the entire manual and I found out something interesting.
I discovered that since I am now an employee of the company and that I mention the company in my blog, I must make a disclaimer.  Well, here is my official disclaimer as a Bed Bath and Beyond employee.

I, Antoine Gardner, an employee of Bed Bath and Beyond, as of March 18, 2013, hereby inform the readers of this blog that I am expressing only my opinion and no one else's on this social media platform.  I will not post confidential matters about my employer on this platform and everything posted here is solely my opinion and my opinion alone.  Thank you.

Anyway, now that that's taken care of let's get to something juicy.  Remember the hottie I was talking about last time?
Well he's just a great guy.  He's too young for my liking, meaning we can't even legally go out for drinks, but he seems like a real cool dude.  I would definitely enjoy being his friend outside of work, as well as being a cordial co-worker.  In addition, there's tons of eye candy at my store anyway to keep my entertained...but I will NEVER approach someone about pursuing a romantic/intimate relationship and/or fling because I don't fuck where I eat, for the most part.
I think I'm going to really enjoy this job because the people at my job are in my age bracket, for the most part, so I'll be able to converse and relate to them.  At my other jobs people were usually older than me and all they wanted to talk about was my youthful and crazy life or something old people talk about, like retirement, children, and their dislike of Lady Gaga.
In other news, I've developed a slight crush on someone and recently exchanged numbers with them.  He is so dreamy.
He's a "friend of a friend" and right when I met him I had a feeling he was a person that listened to "my kind of music."  We exchanged numbers and one day we both got really intoxicated--well, I can't speak for him; I know I was--and I shot him some texts telling him that I found him extremely attractive.  And guess what he said?  "Wow, thank you.  I think you're very handsome and you have a pretty smile."
Do you know how quickly my jaw dropped and how fast my face turned red?  Thank God he wasn't standing in front of me.  I probably would have tried to steal a kiss.  The fact that this dude even uttered those words, even if they were just friendly and platonic made me feel so...noticed.  He's one of those people who is as beautiful outside as they are inside, as far as I know.
Anywho, we kept conversing via text and then I asked if he was single.  He told me he was currently trying to get out of a relationship that wasn't working out anymore.
I feel a bit indifferent about this update because four things could happen:
1) He could hash things out with his significant other and they could get back with each other;
2) He could end things with his partner and he could just want to be single for awhile;
3) He could terminate the relationship and make me his rebound;
4) He could end things with his dude and end up not wanting to be with me.

Although, I wouldn't mind dating him as soon as he's available, I wouldn't want to pressure him into anything.  I'm not that kind of dude.  But I wouldn't mind getting to know him.  He seems like such a sweet guy and whatever choice he makes would be cool.  I mean, just being friends with him would even tickle my fancy.  Do you know how hard it is to find real gay friends in the city without them trying to fuck you?  It's damn near impossible.
But regardless of what happens, I'm just going to focus on me.  I've been trying to find a stable job and now I have it.  It's time to keep this job so I can attain my next goal, which is to move out...AND NEVER COME BACK!
(Okay, I mean never come back in regards to me starting my true independence.  I didn't mean I wouldn't come back to visit. I love my family!)
(The above picture isn't my family--obviously--but you get the point.)

Have you guys heard Justin Timberlake's new album?! Oh-my-Jesus-on-a-bicycle!
(I can't believe I found an image of Jesus on a bicycle.  The Internet, i swear.)
Anyway, back to JT's album!

"The 20/20 Experience" is a divine masterpiece.  I am proud to say that I am a Justin Timberlake fan because his musicianship has really matured and this album really showcases his vocal talents and musicality.  I was floored at how wonderfully every song flowed into the next.  (I'm currently listening to it right now actually.  I can't stop!)  He only has a total of 10 songs on his album, including his first single off the album "Suit & Tie," but the album is over an hour long.  The average length of a song has to be around 7 minutes but it doesn't feel like that at all.  Justin Timberlake has truly come back to the relevancy of chart-topping hits once again, like he never missed a beat.
Oh! I keep forgetting to mention this duckies.  I have an Instagram account and you should follow me.  I mean everyone in their right mind should.  My Instagram handle/username is Antoinelikesbeer.  (Click here or any mention of Instagram on this page to go to my profile to follow me.) I mean, if you know me, you know I love beer, especially Sapporo.
I think it's time for a new Word of the Week.
This Word of the Week is actually an acronym.
D.I.T.Y. (pronounced "dih-tee"): Did It To Yourself; getting yourself into a situation knowingly; not minding one's business; being nosy.
Ex: "Tommy, you got arrested because you were stupid enough to smoke a joint in front of your building and not inside like a smart person. You d.i.t.y.!"

Now for some Words of Wisdom:
"Most people talk about doing something with their lives, only to watch it without trying to change it for the better.   How do you expect to stand out and progress if you're sitting down?  Take charge of every situation you're in and make sure to tweak it so you end as the winner in every situation.  If you don't come out as the winner get off the floor, dust yourself off, and try again.  This is your life."

Okay my loves. I hope you all have a wonderful week and sexy weekend.

I love you for reading.

-Gabriel Anderson

Monday, March 18, 2013

Going GaGa

'Ello duckies!  I hope all is well on your end because everything is fantastical on mine.
(I don't think you realize how hard it is to draw/write in pink paintbrush strokes, like that.  I'm even proud of myself.)
Duckies, I am so tired because I sat through my first day of Orientation at Bed Bath and Beyond.  I was there from 8:45AM until about 2AM, just listening to people speak for hours...but I know I'm going to love my job!
Not only does the job seem like so much fun and the people seem so new fellow co-workers are sooooo hot, especially this one dude.
God, I really hope he's not like younger than 21 because I do not plan on robbing the cradle: not my cup of tea, thank you very much.  

He's so gorgeous and we had to sit close to each other the whole day and I was literally in heaven because he has the most gorgeous smile and I can tell he's a cool guy.  Plus, he kept trying to talk to me during Orientation and kept laughing at things I laughed at too...okay maybe because actual funny things did happen during Orientation.
We had to watch this video about training (i.e. standing on ladders, how to properly lift boxes, open boxes, etc.) and you know how most training videos are so tongue-in-cheek corny and old.  Well he and I (and the other cool kids) were laughing pretty much the entire video.
The jokes weren't like "The Big Bang Theory" or "GIRLS" kind of funny, but the lack of comedy and overall trying to make a joke happen made the video funnier than its original purpose.  It was more like we were laughing at the video than with it.
Oh my jumping jack Jesus, did you guys see the season finale "GIRLS" last night?  I cried legit THREE times watching it. 
(If you don't want to read about any spoilers than you should skip all of the red colored text.)

I cried when Ray and Shoshana finally called it quits because Shosh couldn't put up with Ray's lack of "ambition."  I kind of agree with Shoshana's "plight" though.  I feel as though Ray didn't really like anything but her, as she stated, and had no interest in bettering his life.  Granted, I'm 24 going on 25 in August but I'm trying to make shit happen with my life.  Ray is in his early thirties and still hasn't gotten his shit together or even had an inkling to what his shit should even look like.
Another part where I cried was when Marnie stopped dicking around and admitted to Charlie how she really felt about him and he said, "That's all I ever wanted to hear."  Like seriously?!  Marnie and Charlie are the cutest couple because Charlie is so handsome and endearing, whereas Marnie is so beautiful and timidly blunt (if there's even such a thing).  Sorry to jump to last week's episode but Marnie's version of Kanye West's "Stronger" was fucking hilarious.  Click here to watch it! LOL
(Did anyone notice Shoshana in the background, while Marnie was singing? She's in this picture if you look closely.)
And the last part that made me cry was when Adam ran (and took a train) to Hannah's house because he knew she wasn't in her right state of mind.  Mind you he did this shirtless and he practically "FaceTimed" with her until he had to kick down her front door and pick her up in his big, strong passionately kiss her.

I was so moved by last night's episode of "GIRLS" that right after watching it, I ran into my younger sister's room and said, "That was so beautiful."  But while saying it I couldn't hold back my tears and I started crying and she was like "Awww, you're really crying right now?!" I laid my head in her lap for like twenty-seconds and let out my silent tears and tiny bursts of laughter...but between those tears I felt a wash of loneliness.  

Although "GIRLS" is fictitious and well-written, I wish my life were more like it.  I can relate to pretty much every character on the show.  I can say that I have a mental disorder that effects my daily life.  I can say that I have a father that didn't pay much attention to me when I was younger.  I can say that I used to push people that truly loved me away sometime ago.  But now I can say that I want that real love: the love that hurts and makes you do nice things for them, even though they called you a name ten minutes ago.  I was so moved by that episode of "GIRLS" that I wrote a poem; more like spewed my raw emotions onto my iPhone.  I entitled it "Together," like the title of the season finale of "GIRLS."

Speeding toward the light and promise of you,
I can only feel my wings taking turns lifting my heart.
You are the answer.
I am the world.
Love for us isn't forever.  Love for us is now and tomorrow. 
My love burns for you and you cool me down with the simplest of touches.
I need to roll in your desire and wrap myself in your need.
This is forever us.
Together, we are.

So yeah, I was definitely feeling the love bug last night.  I've been single for quite awhile now and I'm just tired of playing the single, slutty game where I just find temporary romance, only after fucking someone's brains out.
Meaningless sex has become such a common thing in my life that sometimes I have sex just because I don't feel like masturbating.  But you know what?  I need to stop that!  If I want to find love I need to shut off my hormones and start thinking with my heart and not my...

Oh!  I saw this word the other day and I thought I'd share it with you as a "WORD OF THE WEEK."  (Yeah, that was random...but you should know me by now.)
Askhole (pronounced "ehsk-ho-la") - One who asks for advice when in dilemmas, only to go against it; one who does the opposite of what is advised.
Ex: Person 1 - "Henry always does the same thing.  If you tell him to stay home, he'll want to hang out.  If you tell him to hang out, he'll want to stay home."
Person 2 - "Oh child, don't you know Henry's a big ol' askhole?"

I guess I should get to some Words of Wisdom while I'm at it.
"In order to achieve happiness, you must create it.  If you focus on not having it, you will only attract the opposite of happiness.  Think happy thoughts.  Laugh until you're lightheaded and crying.  Life is yours to take, one smile at a time."

My best friend Elle Fox just called and informed me she just got an apartment!  This is her first apartment as an adult!!!
I'm so proud of her and this new step in her beautiful journey she calls life.  GO ELLE!!!

In more news, in regards to me moving out I'm giving myself an extension, only until January 2014.  I figured that my birthday was too close for what I'm asking.  I don't want a roommate...
(so I can do everything naked)

 and I want exquisite furniture.  Plus, I want to renew my membership at Planet Fitness...
and I would like to activate my iPhone 4 or upgrade to a better version.
In addition, student loans are so far up my ass that I can taste the bill collector's breath when they call my house.

Anywho loves, I'm going to get my things ready for day two of Orientation tomorrow and then head over to celebrate with Elle.

I love you for reading.

-Gabriel Anderson

Monday, March 11, 2013

Moving On

Amigos y patos! (Hello friends and duckies!)
I don't know why I keep greeting people in Spanish lately.  Maybe it's because I'm just trying to attract more Hispanic Adonises in my life.
(This dude could tie me to his bed for three days and not feed me if he'd marry me afterwards LOL.)

Anyway, I have some amazing news my lovely duckies: I GOT THE JOB!!!  I will be a Bridal Registry Consultant at Bed Bath & Beyond in April!
(Actually, orientation begins for me on March 18th--for two weeks--so I won't actually be working really until April...I think.)
But I got the job duckies! I'm so proud of myself.  I cannot wait to start.  This is going to sound like the gayest thing--but what's gayer than being a bridal registry consultant, right? LOL. 
I think that weddings and love are so magical.  I've only been to ONE wedding in my adult life and it was my father's.  He was finally getting married to his wife in 2010 and I thought people that cried at weddings were fools.  But somehow I became one of those "fools."  
At first I thought it was the fact that it was a beautiful wedding: it was held at the Riu Resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica.  Not only was it on the resort, it was on one of the most fucking beautiful beaches I've ever seen and we legit sat on chairs, in the sand.  However, I realized it wasn't all the aesthetics of the wedding that made it beautiful.  This was one of those moments were I actually saw my father chocked up and I saw that he really loved his wife.  They were both crying, my father's tears merged with his sweat so no one really knew but my sister and I, and it touched me.  Behind my big black Diesel sunglasses my eyes were pouring my emotions onto my shirt.  It was so beautiful.  With this job I won't be directly involved in the wedding planning aspect of their lives but to be a part of a couple's love and new life together is a gift in itself.

 In other news, my current room is currently under construction...I literally mean this because like a sixth of my carpet has been ripped up and cut out for sub-floor repairs.  I'm supposed to be remodeling my room: new flooring, new color schemes, different furniture...the works.  However, now that I'm telling everyone--my family--that I'm making an effort to move out by my 25th birthday (August 19th, if you were wondering) my mom is like "Well, since you're moving out in close to five months maybe we shouldn't do it."
I've been wanting my room remodeled for the longest.  Plus, I'm pretty envious of my mother's and sister's rooms, which were remodeled within the past few months.  And might I add, I helped with the physical labor.
(My sister's new and beautifully adorned room.)
(My mother's superior and decorative room.)
(My hot-ass mess of a room.)
Okay, I'm totally joking.  That last picture isn't my room...but it needs some serious work.  Granted I understand why my mother saying what's the point in remodeling my room at the moment if I intend on flying the coup in August.  But what if I don't reach my goal because I realize that my job isn't enough to live on my own yet and I need until January to move out?  It would be awesome to move out on my 25th birthday, that would be the best present ever, but if it doesn't happen I won't be disappointed.  I know it will happen eventually.  Plus, I don't think I want a roommate if I move out.  I like my own space and sometimes I like being alone.

Oh my God, Words of Wisdom coming at ya early!
"A goal is merely an idea that one sets to attain.  If a time limit is put on a goal this puts more pressure on the ability to succeed.  Don't be dismayed if your goal isn't accomplished when you thought it would be reached.  The only thing you should give up on is giving up."

Speaking of a goal, I know you guys may have read that I'm open to start a new relationship.  Well do you guys remember Nick?  Nick was supposedly the "love of my life."  He's a nice guy.  The sex between us is electrifying.  I enjoy his company, for the most part.  And he went to Yale for grad school.  Anyway, I still talk to Nick to this very day, even though we haven't been together in years.  But I know I shouldn't talk to him anymore.  I need to move on so I can embrace the future.  He moved down south and plays with my emotions so eloquently, to the point where I don't know they're being manipulated.
But do you know why I put up with it?  Nick was the first boyfriend that loved me for me.  He loved my dramatic acts: sometimes I'd get mad at him and get out of his car, while he was driving.
But what really made me fall for him was that he made me feel beautiful when I was naked.  
He would make me strip and he would just stare at me and smile, telling me how beautiful I was.  He still tells me this to this day...and I know he's not lying.  I am beautiful!
I've always been self-conscious about my weight & body image and to have someone finally accept me for me, and I mean all of me, is the greatest thing you can get.  It's worth more than all the diamonds in the world.

However, I can't be with Nick for a few reasons.
1) I know for a fact that he'd never marry a man.  His family is super religious and I'm pretty sure they don't even know that he has sexual relations with men.
2) He lives down south.  Come on! I'm not a Skype/long-distance kind of guy.
3) He hasn't come to terms with his sexuality, in terms of accepting that he's gay.  He says he's bisexual but I know for a fact that he hasn't been with a woman in eons...but what do I know.

I can't be with someone who can't be with me in front of everyone.  I'm not asking to hold hands everywhere or for you to kiss me in front of your friends.  I just want to know that I'm not your dirty little secret.  I don't want part-time love.  The sad part is I'll always love him...but I love me more and I deserve better.

Speaking of deserving better, I finally watched "The Secret: The Movie."  I've read the book a couple times but the film is so much more effective.  It inspired me to think positive and get out of my rut.  I wrote a mantra that I recite at least once a day to keep me on track and to express my gratitude to the universe.  Here is it below:


Oh! The weirdest thing happened to me this weekend.  This is the second time this has happened to me late at night, in this one store.  I was ordering a sandwich at like 2AM because I was a little tipsy and hungry and this man approaches me.  I was jamming to some tunes on my iPhone and I was wearing my Ray-Bans, as usual, but this didn't stop him from coming up to talk to me.  He was an older gentleman: African-American, early 40s, nice-looking, and had a "street" demeanor.

I see his mouth moving and he's looking directly at me, so I pause my music.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"How's your night going, man?"
"It's good."
"Alright, good to hear. Enjoy it," he says, as he tries to give me one of those complicated handshakes.
"Oh so this is what we're doing tonight?" I say jokingly, because I have no idea what kind of handshake he is trying to do.  I'm always clueless when it comes to those "street" handshakes.  (Please don't take my "Black card" away.)
"I know you're feeling a little fruity tonight," he says, smiling and giving me "the look." (You know, the "come hither look.")
"Excuse me?"
"You're a human being.  I don't judge.  Whatever you prefer is what you prefer.  Just do it right.  You understand?"

I was completely thrown off-guard.  This guy just called me out on being gay.  Was he trying to "out" me in front of everyone with malicious intent?

To disregard his comment I went up to the store counter and asked if my sandwich was ready and it was, thank God...but this didn't stop the guy.

"How are you getting home?" he asks.
And that's when I knew he was trying to "holla" at me.
"Oh, I'm walking home. I'll be fine," I respond.
"Is anyone coming to get you.  It's not safe this time of night."
"Trust me. I'm only a few blocks away," I say, smiling.
"Okay. Well be safe.  And get out of here," he says laughing.

That wasn't the first time someone tried to pick me up at the store by my train station late at night.  The other time this other guy--who was hideous--straight-up asked me if I had a boyfriend.  I was mortified and I ran to the car.  My mom was in the driver's seat and when she saw me rush into the car and saw this guy coming out the store behind me, still trying to talk to me, she was like:

"Who is that guy?"
"Just drive," I said.
"Please," I looked at her. "Just drive, now."
She started laughing and asked, "That guy hit on you in there, didn't he?"
"Yup. And I definitely wasn't going home with him," I said.
"Well," she pauses, "when you got it, you got it."

It took me awhile to realize that she was referring to my good looks.  I blushed nearly the entire ride home.

Well it only seems right that I give you a new WORD OF THE WEEK.
This WORD OF THE WEEK is prettyful.
Prettyful (pronounced prit-tee-full): the state of being so pretty and beautiful that one cannot decide which to call you; utterly desirable.
Example: "Beyonce is the Queen of the world.  She runs it and she's remarkably prettyful.
(I didn't want to write on the picture.  It would desecrate the prettyfulness of the picture.)

I think it's about time for me to get out of this chair because my ass hurts--not from what you think you dirty little duckies--and I want you all to enjoy the rest of your Monday, and of course your week.


Here's a little snippet of me drunk-singing in the train station this past weekend. Enjoy.

See you next Monday!

I love you for reading.

-Gabriel Anderson

Monday, March 4, 2013

Do What Makes You Happy

Hola duckies!
Excuse my Spanglish.  I'm feeling very spicy today.  I figured since my posts are pretty lengthy, I will post once a week from now on.  Monday evenings sound about right.  Yes, I said it: NEW POSTS EVERY MONDAY!  Yaaaaay! Gabe is back, bitches!
There is so much gossip to spill and I am ready to share it with you all.  I want to get something off my chest first.  
For all of my fellow classmates that have big boy and girl jobs, I applaud you.  I asked a wise man--he's 30 with a PHD and lives the life I desire--so he's wise in my book--a question.  He's always in different parts of the world every other day.  He's so damn sexy and his passport is his best friend.  I asked him what his secret you know what he said?  He told me, "Antoine, do what makes you happy."
This simple statement moved me.  Do what makes you happy.  I had to think what makes me happy.  I thought of writing, acting, and being with my real friends...not the people I hang out with just because sometimes friends come in a package deal. (Mhmmm, I said it.)
Writing makes me happy and I forgot how therapeutic and freeing it is.  Writing for me isn't just putting words onto a piece of paper, or monitor.  Writing is an orgasmic mind release that enables me to express myself in a way speech cannot at times.  You can ask any of my good friends who have received cards or letters, (yes, I still write letters to people), from me.  I put my all into every word I place in sentences.  Sentences are the bridges I use to touch the hearts of others and I forgot how much I loved doing it.  So now I'm gonna do what makes me happy.  I'm gonna pick up where I left off on May 16, 2010.  It's been close to a three year break of recovery and laziness, but I'm here and it's time to be strategic and get my life back in order.
Speaking of strategy, my last job ended in December, and by ended I mean I was fired.  Long story short the assistant principal of the school hated me and fired me because I called out like twice.  I don't regret getting fired.  It was kind of liberating.
Being fired by someone you hate coming to work to see, because they're a complete and utter fucking cunt, is like getting hugged by the Snuggle bear.
The only thing I do miss about working at the school is the kids.  Some were complete terrors but some could make you cry just from seeing them march down the halls in their school uniform.  One kid in particular used to run up to me and hug my leg whenever he saw me.  His name was Valentino and he pulled my heartstrings with his cuteness.  He is one of the reasons why I want to have kids: that pure innocence and acceptance of life.  Thank you Valentino for making my life better, one leg-hug at a time.

Anywho, I was talking about strategy and got distracted by cute memories.  I have an interview with Bed, Bath, & Beyond tomorrow morning.  I really want this job because I have never seen a melancholy employee at any of their locations.  And all of them seem so knowledgeable.
I landed the interview because I went to this awesome job fair in the city and the hiring manager/scouts loved my energy.  This is exactly how it went when I approached their job station.
"Oh hi, I'm Antoine Gardner.  Let me just start by telling you how much I love your products."
(Laughter ensues) "Thank you Antoine."
"You're more than welcome.  I was wondering what positions you have available in the city," I said pulling out my resume.
 "Well have you ever worked in retail?"
"I have actually.  I worked at the NBA store, when they were on fifth avenue.  It was an eye-opening experience.  I got up, close, and personal with tourists in ways I didn't think were possible."
(Laughter ensues again.) "Well, what department would you like to work in, if hired?"
(Pause) "I honestly don't know.  I would say bedding but that's pretty much one-third of the store--"
"How about our baby and bridal registry department?"
"OH MY GOD, YESSS!" (Realizing I pretty much just screamed at the hiring manager.) "I'm so sorry that I got that excited.  That sounds perfect."
(She laughs.) "We do need people with personality, Antoine.  We'll make sure to call you for an interview."
And BAM, a couple days later someone called me to set up my interview.
In other news, I have become obsessed with the show "The Walking Dead."
I accidentally become a fan because everyone on Earth has been raving about it, so I gave the pilot episode a go on Netflix.  And before I knew it I was up around 5AM finishing the second season.  Now I'm fully-versed with what exactly is happening and I watch the new episodes on AMC on Sunday, 9PM EST.  For those who think it's just about zombies and how they are terrorizing the world, you are sadly mistaken.  I believed this before I watched the show as well.  The show is a perfect portrayal of what would happen if a worldwide epidemic would happen and it shows how people would probably really act in given situations.  In most cases it's not the zombies you have to worry about.  Sometimes it's your best friend that's trying to kill you in your sleep or when you two are trapped by zombies are there's no escape.  It's a series that showcases the primal instincts and character of people stuck in a world where the only possible glimmer of hope is the strength in numbers and your willingness to do what it takes to survive.  So if you have a chance, give "The Walking Dead" a peek.  You won't regret it.  And if you do, there are tons of other shows that come on Sunday.  Two of my favorite Sunday evening programs happen to be (The United States version) "Shameless" and "GIRLS." 
I love "Shameless" because it's about a family that goes through Hell pretty much every episode and it's very entertaining.  
And of course I like it because one of the main characters is gay and I see some penis in some episodes.  What? I'm gay.  I'm being honest.  I see enough boobs on pretty much every show, so of course I'm going to watch a show where there's a penis shown here and there.
"Shameless" comes on Sundays on Showtime at 9PM EST.  Check it out duckies.

"GIRLS" is a show that focuses around the life of a girl named Hannah.  Hannah is a girl who recently graduated college and is trying to find her place in life.  She's a writer and recently got an e-book deal...but there's a lot more to the story.  
The main character, Hannah, is played by the creator of the show and it is loosely based on her life and her friends.  It is so real that sometimes I find myself quoting scenes from the show and thinking, "Oh my God.  I am so Hannah right now." "GIRLS" speaks to me so vividly because it represents the struggle of the post-grad person of my generation and how crazy life is when shit happens.  The show touches on sex, passion about life, and love for yourself and others.  Do yourself a favor and go check it out!  It comes on Sundays on HBO at 10PM EST.

Since we're on the topic of love, I just realized that I've been single since the middle of my Junior year in college.  That's close to five years!!!
Trust me, it hasn't been a lonely five year stint.  I've dated some great guys and I've dated some crazies...actually they all ended up crazy or they ended up telling me they were HIV+.  (Don't worry, I didn't have sex with the positive dudes.  I'm still negative and I plan on keeping it that way.)  But my luck with men has not been the greatest and I think I know the reason.  I haven't found the "right one" because I'm not the right one for someone else.  Hear me out.  I know that I'm intelligent, funny, handsome, and other good things...but dates cost money lol.  
I need to find myself in the real world before I can share my life with someone else.  More importantly although it would be nice to cuddle myself to sleep with a dashing fella, I need to worry more about where I see myself in five years, five months, and fifteen days: I'll be 30 by then.  So for now I'll talk to boys and bat my lashes at them but I need to focus on me.  As Sheree from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" said, "Love don't pay the bills." LOL
I know my knight in shining Ferragamo will sweep me off my feet soon enough...but universe, could you tell him to hurry up a bit, pretty please?
Oh! I almost forgot to tell you what happened to me and Elle Fox the other day,  We were at her friend's house and we were about to leave.  As we're walking toward the foyer of the lobby, we see this woman standing outside the door.  She looked as though she were waiting for someone and she wasn't looking at us.  When we got to the foyer we stopped and started talking to Elle's friend, trying to decide what to do next.  The lady scowled at us and said, "Oh you guys are gonna act like a bunch of assholes and not open the door?!"
Mind you the entrance to the foyer is pretty much all glass and I was the closest to it, so I heard her very clearly.  I swear to God, if I didn't go through therapy for my "anger issues," I probably would have blacked out and came to with my hands around her neck.  The nerve of that lady!  But as a civil human being I just opened the door for her, with her saying an unpleasant, "Thank you," and hoped her cable company shut her TV off that evening.

Anyway, since it's been a week since my last post, it's only fair that I give you loves a new WORD OF THE WEEK.
This WORD OF THE WEEK is F.I.D (which is actually an acronym).
FID (noun: pronounced as one word, fid): a man who is in denial of his homosexuality; one who fights with his inner urges to be with a man intimately; a "faggot" in denial.
Example: "I don't know why Doug is so homophobic. We all know he's gay.  He's such a nasty little fid."

I must say I do loathe the use of the word "faggot" but if you give anything power over you, it weakens you.  And anything that weakens you puts a limit on your life and I want to live mine to the fullest.

But right now, it's time for some Words of Wisdom.

"Love is what you make it.  It's not always pretty.  It's not always sane.  But I can tell you one thing: love is what makes you crack a smile when you're ugly crying.  Real love is when you still do nice things for someone, even if you don't like them at the moment.  Love responsibly and love with your whole being."

Okay duckies, I gotta go.  I have a Rib-Eye steak and squash dinner awaiting my mouth.  Plus I have to watch my "RuPaul's Drag Race" tonight.
Check out the new episode tonight at 9PM, on LOGO.  New episodes come on every Monday around that time! You betta werk!

I love you for reading.  See you next week, loves!

-Gabriel Anderson