Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Night on the Town

What's going on beautiful?  I'm just getting in from a marvelous night on the town with Gabriella and our mother.  My mother (because of her Optimum Rewards card) gets four free tickets for any movie of her choice, every Tuesday.  (VIP, what, what?)  We saw "Twilight" and it was pretty good.  My sister reads all the books (she just started "Breaking Dawn" this week) and she hated the movie.  So for all you Twilighters out there...I'd advise not seeing the movie.  All in all, as I am ignorant to the detailed plot of the books.  I enjoyed it very much.  But what really got me in a twist was after the movie we went to Boston Market for dinner and they ran out of chicken.  What kind of s@#t is that?  Boston Market prides themselves on their chicken and they have the nerve to run out?  Do not sass me with your incompetence, Boston Market of 23rd Street (btw 7th and 8th Ave).  Speaking of sass, there are some other things that need to be addressed:
  1. "Pull" Handles on the Inside of the Bathroom Door
  2. Blind New Yorkers
  3. Marijuana Commercials
"Pull" Handles on the Inside of the Bathroom Door
After every movie just about every moviegoer (men and women alike) runs to the bathroom.  I don't frequent ladies' restrooms but the guys usually don't know how to aim for the water.  (It would suck if you had to poop after a movie because everyone would know you were pooping and you'd most likely have the wettest seat in the house.)  But what gets me is bathrooms try to keep it as germ-free as possible with the automatic sensors on dryers, faucets, urinals and toilets.  But when it comes to doors, why is there a fu%^ing pull handle on the inside of the door?  I just washed my hands and now I have to take the germs of everyone else with me before I leave the theater?  WTF?  I don't want that souvenir.  Luckily, I had my winter gloves in my pocket to "shield" the germs.  Get it together movie theater architects! 

Blind New Yorkers
I apologize if any of you are going blind or are considered legally blind (how are you reading this, by the way?) but I am tired of blind New Yorkers.  They think they own Manhattan.  When I'm on the train they beat me with their walking stick.  If I'm walking they obnoxiously make it obvious that they're blind, by swinging their walking stick in the air, 180 degrees.  
I'm tired of dodging your disability!  (Don't you need that stick on the floor to guide you anyway?)  I know you're blind and all but you don't have to be visually-able to walk in a straight line like the rest of us.  Stop zigzagging into me.  Use your magical walking stick!  Oh and this one lady (who I found out was blind when I saw her obnoxious walking stick) had the audacity to stop right in front of the MetroCard turnstile to put on her gloves, hat, scarf and (get this) tie her shoes!  Yes, this blind lady did all of that in front of me, WITH HER WALKING STICK IN THE AIR!  Yes lady, we know you're blind.  But we know you can hear us saying "excuse me" because you're blind-a$$ is in the way. (Wooooohuh!  I'm sorry.  I just needed to get that out.  I'm over it.)

Marijuana Commercials
I am so sick of these marijuana commercials that keep making marijuana look like the worst thing to do.  Sometimes these commercials don't make any sense.  I was talking to my friend Monica (and her roommates were there as well) about these ridiculous claims about marijuana.  What about heroin, crack, cocaine, E, shrooms and the other dangerous drugs?!  Why are these extreme drugs being left out of mainstream television?  We all know marijuana is bad but (I hear) it isn't the worst drug in the world.  I want to see a commercial about the hazards of crack.  I want to see a commercial about the day in the life of a crackhead.  Show me"Kyle the crackhead" smoking crack rocks in an alley, while his kids wait for him around the corner to be fed.

LOL, sorry guys.  (Let me take a deep breath.........okay.  I feel better.)  New York brings the sasster out in me.  With that being said I believe it's time to lighten things up with the quote for today, Nov 26th:

"Happiness is not an event.  It is a series of good choices.  Choose your happiness wisely because at the end of the day, you're going to have to deal with yourself."

Happy Nov. 26th!  Sass at your own risk.  Oh and don't do drugs; artificial happiness is the worst happiness.  Stay true pretties.

Gabriel Anderson

It's called a Vacation, not a "Sasscation" (Sass Update #2)

Hey pretties, it's me again.  I have a few things to get off my Gucci sunglasses, that I'd like to address.  But before I get into them, I'd just like to thank you all for not sassing me...but if you are watch your back.  I do not tolerate sass of any sort.  Thank you for being you though.  It's time to vent! 

Silly Parents, He's Not My Boyfriend
As "welcoming" as my parents are of my lifestyle, they sure seem to be different people when the "boyfriend-in-question" is gone.  They're always asking "so how's your friend ?" or "are you involved with him?" I mean wtf? I am not involved with every "alternative man" that comes into my house or that I mention to them.  If I don't say "oh yeah, we're dating" leave your sass labels in your heads because if they come out again, I will embarrass you.  Family is not safe from my wrath.

A Thankless Giving
So I've recently found out that my parents are going to be working on Thanksgiving. WTF is wrong with the world?  If I had known they were going to be working, I would have went elsewhere for Thanksgiving.  However, my grandparents live in the same house with us but Thanksgiving is about dining with the entire family, not just your grandparents.  All I have to say is I better be getting my Dune Men's Rockville Uggs and new Storm Blackberry for Christmas. (I'm over it.)

Sass, in general
Just don't sass me (period)

Anywho, Gabriella and I went to the dentist for our semi-annual checkup and everything went well.  I love when our dentist compliments me: "Oh, you have such beautiful teeth."  I usually reply "I know.  I just like making your job a lot easier."  They usually laugh or give me sassy eyes.  I don't really care for either reaction.  Gabriella is growing up before me eyes and it thrills me.  She's becoming such a promising young lady.  I can't wait until we both move out of the house so we can both pencil each other in for lunch in SoHo.  
(With all the sass recently thrown my way, I poured myself a drink.  I call it "The Fruity Goose": 1/5 Grey Goose, 3/5 Orange Peach Mango, and 1/5 Tropicana Orange Juice.)
With that being said, I'd like to give you the quote for Nov. 25th:

"Never stop being yourself because you're afraid.  If you can't be yourself, then who will?  You were made a certain way for a reason.  You are beautiful so strut your stuff today."

Don't let the sass get you down.  Be yourself and if anyone sasses you, f%^k them.  Not literally, but you know what I mean.  LOL, oOoOo I'm dirty.  On that note,  stay true pretties.

Gabriel Anderson