Monday, June 11, 2012

Mr. Sassy Pants

Duckies, I come to you today to declare the increase in my overall sassiness.  I put it on my Vision Board--to become sassier--and I already see it manifesting inside of me.  It's not an evil streak that thrives off of the pain and scrutiny of others, but more of a "I'm-not-gonna-put-up-with-your-bullshit-anymore" kind of philosophy.
This came about because of some stupid boy. (Not Antonio for Heaven's sake.  We'll talk about him later.)  This boy, we'll call him Rob.  Rob has been through so much in his life, I'm talking about heavy shit that I'm not about to get into because I'm not one for spilling dirty laundry LOL, and he's always crying about it.  I mean legit crying.  I haven't known him that long (maybe a couple weeks) and he thinks we should be a couple.  Mind you, I've never given this boy the impression that I like him: never had sex, never said anything about anything relationship-related.  I felt like I was doing the world a favor by sticking around because everyone "so he says," he leaves him eventually.
I'm sorry but if I'm not your best friend I am not gonna stick around just to hear you complain about your life nonstop, especially since I recently have been cleared by my therapist...meaning I don't have to see her anymore because life is going well for me.
Anywho, so I invite this sap Rob over yesterday and he's all about trying to have sex with me.  I turned him down and he kept trying so I kicked him out.  He calls me today and had the nerve to ask me if he dropped his weekly-unlimited MetroCard somewhere in my house.  I told him "No."  But the answer was really yes.  And I will be going around town all week on the expense of his pathetic ass.
I wanted to share this with you lovely duckies because I have been so physically and mentally drained for my own problems that listening to others' problems really just weighs me down.  I will always be there for any of my real friends because I know they would be there for me, but if you're some pushy guy who cries over everything...please fcuk off.  Thank you.

Sorry for that colorful introduction to this post.  I had to let that out.

Duckies, this past weekend was superb.  As you know Saturday was our hookah night and it was so much fun.  We smoked this Apple Mint flavored tobacco in the hookah and it was delicious.  But the thing about hookah I find most time-consuming is the process of refilling the tobacco and lighting the coal.  I didn't really trust anyone else to do it because when they did they either packed the tobacco too tight or something would fall on the table.  So for the majority of the night I felt like I was a favored servant to Princess Jasmine and her company.
My mother made this Mango Lemonade Tequila punch, with TWO full bottles of this exotic Tequila!  The crazy thing was none of us tasted the alcohol.  Of course not until it was nearly 1AM and we were all laughing, sweating, and pretty much slurring through the rest of the night.  The cuisine of the night included lamb kabobs (juicy lamb on a skewer), rosemary baked chicken, white rice with some Mediterranean dipping sauce drizzled on it, and grilled asparagus.  It was simply marvelous.
Oh!  Remember the friend I was talking about who was all about PDA when I came around she and her boyfriend?  Well I invited her over for hookah night and she and I had a talk.  I let her know exactly how I felt and she kind of knew I was feeling this way because she felt something different about my energy.  I have to give it to her though.  She has been making efforts to see me and juggle both me and her boyfriend.  I just have to let her ride this relationship out and just remember that our love will never die.

Anywho, at about 1:30AM I was nearly "hookah-ed" out so my friend and I wanted to smoke some good stuff, if ya know what I mean.
I thought we were going to smoke at her house..but then she takes me to this shabby brownstone, where I was sure that I was going to take some critters back home with me if I wasn't careful.
(Chica, if you're reading this don't ever take me back there.  No buneo.)
So I'm sitting on the brownstone steps outside and before we can even roll up my friend comes out of the building in a ruckus, saying that some girl is trying to blame her for calling drunk.  We'll call the drunk/blaming girl Trashina: she was trashy.  Immediately after my friend comes out Trashina comes out screaming:
"Oh no.  I don't even know this girl and she's saying I'm drunk. Nah, forreal yo.  I was talking to my mans."
(Yes, I was in the true ghetto that night.)
My friend was the bigger person in the situation because she walked away from the girl even when Trashina was still talking shit.  But no one saw that but me.  I had my friend's back telling her she was being the bigger person but everyone else was trying to calm my friend down and not Trashina which I thought was extremely unfair, rude even.
But after about an hour or so the situation was diffused and all was well.  The sad thing about this little altercation was my friend's boyfriend was there...and he didn't have my friend's back. Hmmmm....but who did?
Moving along, Sunday was magnificent, if by magnificent you mean waking to a weak body and a pounding headache.
It wasn't until about 5PM that my brain was able to function properly.  (But then again I did get home around 7AM.)  After recovering from the abyss we call "The Hungover Games" someone texted me and asked if I wanted to come over.  No one other than the sexy Antonio!
Two times in the span of five days, sounds like someone likes what I can do.  Even though I did go over there just for sex I do enjoy being in his company.  And afterward he still invited me to come over again so I wouldn't have to "come over just to fuck."  Is Antonio coming around?  Are my seductive powers working and transforming him into a SummerBoy?  Who knows?  Only time and my blog will tell, LOL.

Today I didn't really do anything.  I spent some time with my father: nothing spectacular.  I smoked some hookah before I went to the gym, which has now become my playground once again.
I'm regaining my stamina after only three days back in the gym and I feel wonderful.  I was running around the gym doing so many things today.  I did the elliptical for 30 minutes, cycling/spin machine for about 8 minutes (resistance 10), butterfly curl 25 reps (2 sets), and leg press 25 reps (2 sets).  I'm gonna be so fit that my turds are gonna have abs.
I invited Elle over to hookah night as well and before everyone got there she and I played the Random Question game and I really want to share some things that I discovered about myself.  Also my friend Tracie made a 25 Random things note on FaceBook and it inspired me to do this.  So here's a list of 15 random things you may or may not know about me.

1) I look at everyone's crotch first, before their face. (Including friends and family)
2) My favorite article of clothing is underwear.
3) I'm lactose intolerant and I don't give a shit. I love dairy.
4) I find myself attracted to everyone upon meeting them.
5) "Down With Love" is one of my favorite movies.
6) I've had several girlfriends in the past, but never had sex with any of them...or any girl at that.
7) I don't know how to ride a bike.
8) I don't know how to drive.
9) I know how to swim but it's as graceful as a house cat in water
10) My biggest fear is being stranded in open water.
11) I find myself laughing at things that no one else finds funny all the time.
12) I've never been in a relationship for more than six consecutive months.
13) If I don't have sex at least once a week I become a maniac; nymphomaniac.
14) I don't have any tattoos.
15) I sometimes buy CDs.

Enough about me I think this blog is way overdue for a new "Word of the Week."

Hunk: A person that becomes enraged and Hulk-esque when they are intoxicated.
Ex: "Oh my God, please stop giving Sheila shots because last week her inner Hunk came out and she scratched this random baby's face."
So many good shows are back on and I'm so happy.  "WORKAHOLICS" is back on.
It comes on Tuesdays at 10:30PM (EST) on Comedy Central.
Another Comedy Central show that I cannot get enough of is "Tosh.0"
"Tosh.0" comes on Tuesdays at 10PM (EST) on Comedy Central.
And it's that time of year where the sexy bloodsuckers and supernatural creatures are back...
Season 5 of "True Blood" premiered last night and I was floored. Shit is going down! Check it out on Sundays at 9PM (EST), on HBO.
Oh and I can't forget my guilty pleasure, Teen Wolf.
"Teen Wolf" comes on Mondays at 10PM (EST) on MTV...and speaking of "Teen Wolf" it's about to come on so let me get to some "Words of Wisdom."

"If something you thought to be safe starts giving you doubt about its initial and welcoming stability, run.  Do not push warning away because you want to hold onto the idea of something when the truth is literally biting you in the ass.  You deserve everything you wish for...but make sure your wish really came true."

Okay loves, it's time for me to go and get all sexy for my man Tyler Hoechlin, aka Derek, from "Teen Wolf."

I love you for reading.

Stay Sassy.
-Gabriel Anderson