That's All Folks (for now)

Hey pretties.  I know all is well.  Kids, doesn't it feel so amazing to be on vacation?  I mean unlike others, this is the beginning of my actual Winter Break; I started working Dec 16th and it isn't all hugs and kisses.  I've been working my a$$ off, from 8:30am to 5pm every business day.  My last day for 2008 was Dec 23rd and I'm on break until Jan 5th!  So guys, I will see you in 2009.  I love sleeping and doing nothing when I get the chance.  So I'm going to abuse this vacation like a stepchild.  I love you all.  Here's a quote to live by until 1/05/08:

"When desperation knocks on your door, let it in with open arms.  However, do not feed it what it needs (anger and confusion).  Kill the negativity with kindness and I'm sure it will vanish before your eyes."

Enjoy your break pretties.

Peace, love & Obama

Gabriel Anderson

"O' Christmas reef, O' Christmas reef..."

Hello there beautiful. I am less than two hours away from my second favorite holiday, Christmas. As said before my favorite holidays go as follows:

1) My Birthday

2) Christmas

3) Halloween

(I was Rev. Phelps...see the gold cross! lol)

Anywho, for the past two years my mother has grown sick of Christmas trees. We usually get a huge pine tree but as you know pine trees shed like animals. Plus, when we throw it out it leaves such a mess, on its way out the door. And guess who has to clean it up? Oh yea...yours truly. Anyway, she's substituted the tree with a decorated reef, surrounding by glamorous stockings. To further illustrate my point, here's a picture.

Look at how many gifts there are. It's like Mt. Glamorous! My mom bought like $15 wrapping paper; who does that? I must admit the gifts do look chic. (Back to me!) I don't even wrap gifts. I just have the sales clerks at Bloomingdales wrap my gifts or I ask for gift boxes and tissue paper. I don't do labor. Besides that, look at the stockings; mine is the one circled (the body is black and the top has this fabulous print, with a crystal dangling from it.) I love my life.

In other news, Beyonce is coming out with a new movie...and she's not singing!

(Who knows? Maybe she's on the soundtrack. lol)

The movie is called "Obsessed" and it's coming out in Spring '09.

(If you wanna see the trailer here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1r77fBgWhE)

It looks soooooo good. Beyonce is in a thriller movie and she gets to fight Ali Larter. How awesome is that? Plus, (in th trailer) it she looks like she's holding her own in her role. (Not like Mariah Carey in her movie "Glitter.") lol

Speaking of glitter I finally folded my laundry today (mind you I did laundry last week Monday) and I sorted them out before folding them. After folding them I was putting them away in my mesh drawers and I found my (lost) white shirts. I thought I threw them away because I used to wear them to work and the underarms began to birth...prints lol. However, I looked closely at the underarms and...glitter was there! Not just on one shirt but all of them and it was only in the underarm area. The verdict is in, I'm an angel! I sweat glitter.

With that being said let's get to the quote for Dec 25th:

"Be thankful for everything you have because others don't possess the same. Anything and everything in your life is yours for the keeping and they're there for a reason. The powers that be dish out drama because if life were easy it would be boring. From now on, whenever someone makes things difficult for you thank them."

Oh, I made this new drink called "The Sandro Clause." It's Eggnog with a shot of XO Cafe Patron. Try it. It's divine! I'm falling asleep right now but I won't allow myself to. I'm gonna go get some coffee before I miss the first minute of my favorite holiday. In my house we open our gifts at 12:01am so I need to go shoot up some caffeine. I wish you the best of happiness. Have a sassy holiday!

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

I Am...Gabriel Fierce

Well hello beautiful. Today was such a glorious day. It was my last day of work of 2008, (I'll be back Jan 5th). However, the train rides back and forth were experiences in themselves. It was around 8:15am.
I was on my way to work and a lady comes onto the train and sits down right next to me. Everything is fine. She looks nice and she was reading a book. But as soon as I took a deep breath...I could smell alcohol on her. Not like on her breath but like coming from her pores. This lady was beyond drunk. She seemed functional but it smelled like I was sitting next to Amy Winehouse.

Luckily my stop was close enough that I wouldn't be drunk from inhalation. But the train ride back was even more of an experience.

I was reading Beyonce's interview (I'll get into details a bit later) and the doors open to the 125th Street station, and this lady rushes in and plops beside me. (Why do I attract crazy NYC women? Someone please tell me before I'm fondled. Anyway...) She wakens me from my Beyonce trance but its okay; rush hour is brutal and expected. I move on with my life and my eyes find the sentence they leaped from. Minutes pass by and I'm almost done with the article when the lady yawns...in my direction. And get this...she doesn't even cover her mouth.


She looked like she was trying to swallow a small child.

On top of that, her breath smelled like a mixture of hot dog water and fresh $hit. Fortunately, Beyonce was there to console me.

Speaking of Beyonce, I was proud of her article in "Giant." Her mother Tina (I found out from my friend Monica that her real name is Celestine) is hilarious. She was talking about how she would protect Beyonce when she was younger and if she got mad she would go into this "mama-bear/fight mode." When I read that quote I laughed out loud on the train. I couldn't contain myself...as I couldn't let the magazine hold a beautiful picture of Beyonce. The picture is now on the cork board, in my office at HarperCollins. My office is now complete lol.
Also Beyonce released two new videos:


Halo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93fRPXRkawc&feature=channel_page


and


Diva
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB--OZpf3iU&feature=channel_page


What I appreciate about her artistry is that she can come out with something beautiful and new, without making a flop. And for all those Beyonce/Sasha protesters...f%ck you. Like Beyonce, I like trying new things but my ex Nick is back in my life. Even though I do have strong feelings for him, I have to be realistic. We're only going to be this close to each other until mid-January because that's when break ends and where reality sets in. I can't function on a long-distance relationship. I'm sorry. But having Nick around right now (he knows exactly how I feel) is just like having a teddy bear you know will always be there for you, as you will for it.


With that being said, let's get to the quote of the day for Dec 24th:


"Be realistic when setting goals because reality is relentless. However, this should not hinder you from believing in yourself. Only set goals you are willing to fully commit to."


It's getting late and I still have some business to tend to. I can't f$%king believe it's Christmas Eve right now! I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true kids.


Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

Wrapping Salmon

Hey there beauties!  Today was an amazing day.  I started it off with a grande 

Caramel Macchiato

(with room for milk) from Starbucks and my day was smooth sailing from then on.  I actually got to edit a manuscript that's coming out in Fall 2009.  It has some intense material.  What makes it even better is there was sassy dialogue and cursing in it; my two favorites!  

Anyway, after work Nick called me and we went out to a restaurant .  It was fabulous (his words exactly).  The salmon was divine...but the spinach (I hate spinach if its not creamed) was anything but.  I think the flame that was once doused between us is starting to pick up speed.  He reminds me of Big from Sex and the City; we've been through so much but over time we tend to gravitate toward each other.

Anywho, I'm a dumb ass...well at least for today.  I was wrapping gifts for my family in the living room, making sure I had the chain on the main entrance door so no one would catch me.  So I finish wrapping my supervisor's gift (the Burberry Teddy Bear I got Saturday) and I was so busy trying to put my Mom''s gift away before she got home...that I left my Dad's gift, out in the open!!!  He came in and everything was fine.  It wasn't until he got up and saw it, saying:

"This is a nice hat.  Whose hat is this?"

I was floored.  I forgot I had his gift out in the open.  I couldn't even hide my expression.  My jaw dropped and my eyes went wide.  He read my face and instantly knew it was soon to be his.  I just reacted saying:

"Merry Christmas."

(When he was wasn't looking I wrapped the hat and put it with the other gifts lol...I'm a sassy lil' devil.)

Ugh...I think I'm going to have to get him another gift to make up for my absent-mindedness.  It's such a nice hat too.  It's a royal blue North Face skully-hat.

(I couldn't find a picture of a royal blue hat lol.)

Hey, it's just another reason for me to go shopping.  With that being said, let's get to the quote of the day for Dec. 23rd:

"Don't be intimidated by those who are more 'accomplished' than you.  Stay focused and your success will come.  And remember...they were once in your shoes."

I have to go finish wrapping gifts for my family before I go to bed, since they're all sleeping now.  I wish you the best of happiness.  Stay true pretties.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Sass for Sale at Bloomingdales

Well hello beautiful. I know all is well. I am finally feeling the Christmas spirit. I usually buy something that gets me in the spirit but my recent splurge on family gifts has made me cheerier than ever. Plus, in the office kitchen (I'm at work, on my lunch break, blogging) there are always holiday cookies.

I took like five! They're so good and every bite I take gets me closer to Santa; he's real by the way. (Maybe the white powder on the cookie was crack) But I don't care. I'm so happy. Oh! There was some sass this weekend.

As you know I love shopping and my favorite store in the world is Bloomingdales. So I asked Mommy (love her) if we could go shopping...and she said yes! I got a purple Joseph and Lyman crew neck sweater, a Burberry Teddy Bear and the new Burberry cologne, "The Beat." I'm wearing "The Beat" right now and it smells so good. It makes me wink at myself in the mirror; rar-rar! Anywho...to the sass mobile!

A very close family friend is having a baby shower in January and we were looking for a gift. We went to the children's floor of Bloomy's and we saw these adorable Uggs for infants! We picked out the small baby pink ones, with the laced back. They almost made me cry from their beauty. Well anyway, we were sifting through the boxes and suddenly a Bloomy's clerk reaches in front of my mother, without saying "excuse me." It wasn't like a "I'm going to reach for this and not be in your way" type of reach. It was "OMG, you're in my personal bubble" reach. My mother didn't notice but I did. Seeing this I got my family's attention asking:

"You know what I don't miss about New York?"
"What?" my mother, sister and Grandmother asked in unison.
"The fact that people don't say 'excuse me' anymore," I replied, looking directly into the clerk's eyes.
The clerk tried to give me a sassy expression but her cheeks reddened with embarrassment. A smile curled my lips and I knew it was frightening to see. The clerk quickly averted my glare. I looked away from the embarrassed clerk and said:
"Gabriella and I will be downstairs looking for more Christmas gifts. Our cell phone are on."
And with that, we went down the escalor. I had my S.D.A. fully-functionally! (For those who are sassily-challenged, an S.D.A. is a sass-deflective-action.)

Other than that nothing much has happened. I am rekindling the flame with my ex Nick. He's such a gorgeous creature. Anyway let's get to the quote for today, Dec 22nd:

"Adding unnecessary weight that drags you down won't help you or the person who's weight is on your shoulders. Tend to what you can and when you have spare time (and strength), lend a helping hand."

My lunch break is now over. I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true kids.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

New York: Slippery When Wet

Hey there good-looking.  I know all is well because you're a beautiful person that lives their life to the fullest.  Today was a relaxed day but before I got to work this crazy construction man was so obnoxious.  All of us business folk of New York were all walking to our offices, Starkbucks in hand (of course) and this crazy construction guy gets out of his crane and screams...for no reason.  Being New Yorkers we all turned around but didn't stop walking.  We know the deal lol.

Other than that I sent out books to two authors and an agent.  Other than that I did some online shopping (during my lunch break) and I started reading another submission.  Oh!  I also sat in an editorial meeting for this comic conference HarperCollins is hosting in February.  They had Mrs. Fields cookies in the meeting.   (OMG)  I know that was very fat of me to mention the had Mrs. Fields cookies there but (OMG) when I ate them...I swear an angel was giving me a blowjob.  Pretty much after that I was free to go home since hardly anyone was in the office.

I was let out around 3:45pm...mind you I set my appointment with Apple at 6:10pm.  Luckily, I believed an opening would be there and (BAM!) there was.  (What really happened was I spoke to this super-hot clerk and they helped me.  Flirting gets you a long way.)  When I left Apple God decided to send ice darts directly to my face (maybe because of that angel giving me a blowjob in the meeting).  Plus it was so slushy and icy.  Thank God I wore my Uggs!  I couldn't get my umbrella open for like 10 minutes; where the f$%k was Rihanna?  She told me we could share.

Anyway on my way home there was this crazy lady on the train that kept making these hand movements like she was the umpire for the Yankees.  I made sure not to make eye contact with her when she was signaling the pitcher aka her demon lol. 

My dad called me today and asked me if I wanted money, the Blackberry Storm or some other phone for Christmas.  Of course I said the Blackberry Storm.

Look at how beautiful it is!!!

My life needs it.  I have my own frikkin office.  (It makes me happy just saying it.)  Office!  Office, office, ooooooffice! (I'm going to need new pants lol.) 

Oh! Oh! Oh!  I forgot to shout out my friend Melanie Mirror on here.  (Hey Melanie!)

Anywho, let's get to the quote of the day, shall we?  Dec 20th's quote goes as follows:

"Lying about something simple transforms the simple task into a horrible feat.  The truth puts your mind at ease and it doesn't beg for compensation, like a lie.  Never rely on a lie."

With that being said,  I'm going to go to bed to now.  I wish you all the best of happiness.  Stay true kids.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Paper Cuts

Hey guys!  Yesterday I got my first paper cut (go figure).  I forgot that when you work fast with paper, you get sliced.  Injury by literacy, oOoOoOo. lol  There was another holiday party last night and I wasn't feeling it again.  It was so hot and I couldn't drink (like everyone else was doing). Ugh...I still love my life.  Yesterday I started doing other things;  I sent out checks to authors, filed more stuff, mailed books (that aren't coming out until August) to critics for quotes, sent out rejection letters (awesome) and then I had homework.  I basically had to read a submission and (kinda) determine whether it should be published or not.  I know, intense right?

I feel like today will be a great day.  I love the snow and the weather channel is telling me we're going to get a lot.  I hope it doesn't snow a lot before I get to the office though because my off-terrain Uggs are in my office.  (I'm still shocked that I can say "in my office.")  I have an appointment later with Apple because my (sh)Ipod isn't being recognized by my laptop anymore.  I reserved an appointment at the Fifth Avenue Apple store @ 6:10pm....if you wanna stalk me here's your chance lol.  I'll be wearing my shades because the paparazzi is vicious this time of year lol. 

Anyway, let's get to the quote of the day:

"When something let's you down (I know it's hard but) move on with your life.  Life is too short to depend on irresponsible things.  Don't waste another moment weeping over spilled champagne; go and get another bottle!"

It looks like I'm getting thirsty from that quote lol.  Anyway, I gotta pack my lunch for work before I head out.  I wish you all the best of happiness.  Stay true kids.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Deck the Halls with HarperCollins

Yo!  What's going on good-looking?  

(UPDATE: I am going to start posting before I head out to work because I usually find myself falling asleep when I get home; I'm a working man!)

Yesterday nothing really happened.  I went to an advertising meeting at 11am and then an editorial meeting at 3:30pm...my supervisor thought I'd be bored but I was really into it.  Then they had a holiday party around 4:30pm.  They held it in the office (every other year they have it in the Hilton down the block) and I wasn't feeling it.  You know us writers love to drink and good God, you should have seen the spread.  There was an entire table littered with untouched bottles and an additional end table holding the bottles in use.  Unfortunately, I was the "responsible-underaged intern" so I told them I couldn't drink.

Oh!  I heard someone say this in the office say something hilarious.  Someone was on the phone scheduling dates for book releases and book touring and it so happened that they scheduled a lot of events for February.  When they realized they did this they said:

"Fucking everything is in fucking February."  

For those "Englishlly (or) Rhetocially inclined"  that's a lot of alliteration. lol 

Anyway, let me give you the quote for today, Dec 18th:

"If you find yourself bored with your life, bring in something new to spice up your daily routine.  Sometimes it takes outsourcing to enrich what you already have.  After you add spice to your usual routine, I'm sure it'll look completely different."

With that being said, I have to run off to work.  I wish you all the best of happiness.  Stay true pretties.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

PS. Check this video out please!  You guys know how much I love Beyonce and this little girl reassures my love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_0JiIIsWd0

The Office

Hey beautiful.  As some of you may know today was my first day at HarperCollins and (O...M...G) I love it already.  I get a humongous discount on books (everyone's getting books for the holidays lol) and guess what?  I HAVE MY OWN FRIKKING OFFICE.  It doesn't have a door (lol) but it has a huge desk, a floor to ceiling bookshelf in the corner, my own computer, shelves above my desk and a huge cork-board.  I love everything about the job.  Even though I've only been filing, organizing and getting a feel for the job, I know I'm going to love the rest of my time with HarperCollins.

Plus my supervisor is an executive editor of HarperCollins.  She gave me some books (of my favorite flavor) to have.  I started reading one, on the train ride home and in the author's acknowledgement section and my supervisor's name was in it!  I looked at the other book and her name was in there as well.  These aren't some rinky-dinky authors either; these are New York Times' Best Selling Authors.  My supervisor is hardcore.

My job is like a regular job; unlimited diet coke, coffee, office supplies, I work from 9:15am-5:15pm,  and there is tight security.  Security is so tight that you need an access card just to enter and exit your floor (by stairs or by elevator).  I love it so much though.  Everyone I've met in the office is fabulous, no sass whatsoever.  In addition, I get an hour lunch break and I have my own email address at HarperCollins.  (I love my life.)

Anywho, let's get to the quote of the day Dec. 17th:

"When great things happen in your life don't suspect something bad to happen, doing this ends the flow of greatness.  Great things come to those who think with great positivity; keep those great thoughts flowing and your life will do the same."

It's getting late and I have to leave my house around 8am to get to work so I gotta let you beauties go.  I wish you all the best of happiness.  Stay true kids.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

The City that always sleeps

Hey pretties.  Sorry I didn't post an entry yesterday.  Since I've finished up my portfolios and papers I've been sleeping my ass off (literally because I think I lost 2lbs already lol).  I start my internship with HarperCollins in like 6 hours.  I'm sooooo exctied!  (Very nice.)  So many things have happened since I last blogged.  Let's just list the things so I don't forget to mention them:

1. Friends Shout-Out
2. Graham and NY Trip
3. Sass Awards
4. Backwards Eating
5. Dinoshadows
6. Dirty Quotes

Let's get to it!

1) Friends Shout-Out

Some of my dear, sexy friends have been asking me "what would it take to be shouted-out in your blog?"  I wanted to say something dirty, just to see their reaction, but I told them it doesn't take much to get a shout-out.  My friend Alice (a.k.a. wasty-face buddy) is such a delight and I'm shouting her out, aow!  Gupta, I really want you to model; gain 20lbs and I'll make sure to get you a deal with Elite Models.  Diamond...I love you, 'nuff said.  Graham (woooohuh) so many stories.  Matter of fact let me share one with the world.

2) Graham and NY Trip

Okay so one day I planned to go home (with help of my parents, because I can't drive) and my mother calls me (hours before she's supposed to come) like "oh, something came up so I can't pick you up. Find a way to get home."  W-T-F?  Honestly, Mommy?  Anyway, I spoke to my friend Graham (my savior) and he told me he was going to NY so he said he could drive me  home. (Yaaay!)  It was such a good trip.  We were jamming in the car, harmonizing and talking about life.  One of our main concerns is how people don't say words like "marvelous," "glorious," "stupendous," and "divine" anymore.  Those words are such phenomenal words.  But what wasn't phenomenal was our Chinese food break.

We stopped somewhere near New Haven (God if I really know where we were) and Graham decided he wanted some Chinese food.  So we go into this restaurant and it looks just like any other Chinese food place; menus, semi-dirty floors, big glass windows, little children running around, Jehovah Witness pamphlets...you know the usual.  So Graham orders General Tso chicken from this Asian-American waitress with a blood-soaked apron, and it takes like an hour.  Graham didn't really care about the wait but you know ol' Gabriel here doesn't really like wasting moments.  To pass the time Graham and I cracked jokes and had a blast...even when I got us lost in my own town lol.  Love ya Graham!  (I found out later that he didn't even like the food.  Those damn blood-soaked apron waitresses!)

3) Sass Awards

This past summer (2008) I was a Red Cap (shout-out to RCs '08) and I gave out the Shark Award (I made it up) after every orientation session debriefing.  (You usually get the Dolphin Award if you do something marvelous during the orientation sessions and since I didn't get one I made one for myself.)  Anyway, I want to plan an event (like legit) called "The Sass Awards."  There will be food and entertainment, and people will receive awards for their contributions to the world's sass.  (I'm going to really give this some thought.)

4) Backwards Eating

Some of my friends can attest to this.  I eat the wrong seasonal foods.  I usually get Frappuccinos during the winter, hot chocolate during the summer and other things that oppose the season.  It's crazy but not to me.  I just want my food when I want my food.  (I just wanted to share that.)

5) Dinoshadows

So the day before I left for Winter Break, my friend Monica wanted to see me before I left.  I went to her room and we chatted it up, while I coordinated how many outfits I was going to need for my internship.  All of a sudden Monica reaches for something and happens to cast a shadow over her lamp and we start making shadow puppets.  We were really trying to bust all the bag of tricks.  Amazingly, somehow we were able to make dinosaur shadow puppets and on top of that we started making dinosaurs sounds lol.  It was hilarious.   I was able to make a velociraptor and Monica made a Tyrannosaurus-Rex.  It was a great way to start my vacation lol.

6)Dirty Quotes

Since I haven't blogging in like two days I'm willing to share some (inspirational) dirty quotes with the world.

Dirty Quote #1: "Life is all about who you know and who you blow."

Dirty Quote #2: "Sex is sex and a mouth's a mouth.  Just close your eyes and it all feels the same."

Dirty Quote #3: "Shit happens...that's why God made toilet paper." 

Anyway, I've shared a mouthful and I think it's time to get to the quote of the day for Dec 16th:

 

"Fear is doubt taking the form of an insecurity, that hinders you from life.  Confront the fear whole-heartedly, surrounded by things that make you happy and I'm sure that fear will soon become a necessity." 

Okay, it's almost time for me to wake-up to head downtown to HarperCollins.  I am super excited.  I wish you all the best of happiness.  Stay true pretties.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Bursting something fierce

The days winter tipped over...

the wind felt like a splash of regality
growing with a fervency of tabooed laughter
falling to the ash of gum and Snuggle: lavender and vanilla
the softness of fate is heavy on the hands
love the struggle in the delight of jovial feats
treasure love and peace

Celebratory Outing

I am in such a good mood today.  I have some great news to announce...I'M REALLY GOING TO BE WORKING WITH HARPERCOLLINS OVER WINTER BREAK!  YAAAAAY!  

It's 11:04pm and I'm not at a party (yet, of course).  Nothing really happened today other than that.  Oh!  L' Shir had a fabulous Winter Showcase tonight.  My friend Monica hasn't seen them this year and she really enjoyed herself, to the point of tearing up.  I love L' Shir and all but I guess I took their talent for granted.

Speaking of singing...

 (you know you love it crazy-face!)

Anywho, like that (very true) saying goes "L'Shir is awesome."  Anyway, I need to make some appearances at some parties so I'm gonna go scadaddle...but not before giving you the quote for Dec 13th:

"In order to make something happen in your life you need to let it be known.  Say it out loud, tell your friends, scream it on top of a building (don't jump though).  Keep doing this until you actually see that dream come true.  When you finally acheive it, go chase another one."

With that being said, I gotta go.  There's nothing worse than a party without Gabriel.  Stay true pretties.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

True Bad-A$$

I feel so strong and liberated today, like Tyler Durden from "Fight Club."

(If you haven't seen that beautiful piece of art, go and get a copy to watch NOW!)

Remember all of those assignments I listed in the post before this (the bulleted list of work)...well I finished everything but the portfolio (which is mainly scrounging up all my assignements from the semester) and evaluative essay.  But some work was added to my load so I have to complete:

• an evaluative essay - for my ending internship
• a portfolio -for my other ending internship
• an article about myself (this is gonna be easy)

before I leave for Winter Break.  (Well they're all due next Tuesday but when I go home, I never do work.)  Nothing big really happened today; maybe it did and I wasn't paying attention.  (Well that Palin lady happened today but she's in the post before this.)  I ran into a lot of people I don't usually see and I'm glad I did.  I love friends.  I realized that I have to do Christmas shopping too and I want to make my own cards with a picture of me on it like:

HAPPY HOLIDAYS PRETTIES!

I mean why not a card of myself instead of a jolly, obese bum with a one-day-a-year job? I feel so relieved like a tight swimsuit that was just taken off by a large-framed transexual.

Oh!  While I was delivering packages from the rear and I looked up my name (Gabriel) in a "First Names" book I had on the ivory throne.  Gabriel means "hero of God."  How precious is that?!  I looked up my son's name too (Dante) and it means "one who endures."  That's right you endure that sass, son-son.

Okay, let's get down to the quote of the day for Dec 12th:

"If you're doing something now that won't help you in the long run, cut the habit.  Waiting to the last minute to better yourself increases your level of procrastination.  Love yourself enough to know what's best for you in the future."

With that being said, I wish you all the best Friday.  Yay, no more classes for the Fall semester.  I wish you all eternal happiness and the greatest luck on impending finals.  Stay true.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Another One Bites the Sass

I was watching "Legally Blonde" last night because it motivates me to do homework.  However, it doesn't make me blog any faster lol.  Sorry about it being way late today.  Plus, I'm going home for Winter Break on Sunday (finals start next week) so a lot of work needs to be done before I leave.  I have to complete:

• a brochure
• proposal (for that brochure)
• 2 ten page papers on what I learned during the semester
• a portfolio for my internship
• an evaluative essay on my other internship
• a research paper
• paperwork for my internship with HarperCollins over Winter Break

Most of the assignments are done...but it's still a lot of work.  Everyone is like "Oh my God, I hate you.  You're going home early."  Dude...I wish I had another week to do all this work; at least you get time to complete your assignments.  (Oh!)  My friend Skyler reminded me to mention what I helped him do the other day.  (He told me I forgot to give him a shout-out too lol.)

Skyler's A Cappella group L'Shir (and I) went around dorm-storming (which is basically visit as many people's dorms and ask for donations) to sell raffle tickets for the prizes their offering at their concert tomorrow.  The prizes are an iPod shuffle, a $50 gift basket (which has an iTunes gift card in it as well) and other spectacular keepsakes.  The concert starts at 9pm and is in the North Cafeteria of Gengras Student Union.  Raffles are still being sold so go get some.  

(I'm blogging at Gengras right now and this lady just asked me about the McCain/Palin sticker on my laptop.  The conversation went something like this...

Lady: Is that a joke or is that for real?

Me: (laughing) It's a joke.

Lady: (losing the sparkle in her eyes) Aww.  I really like Sarah Palin.  I think she's an awesome person.

Me: OMG, me too!  I think she's hilarious.  She always makes me laugh.

Lady:  (a little saddened) She's such a great person.  She was a school teacher's daughter and look at her now.  She's the governor of Alaska.

Me: (trying not to laugh. smiling...speechless)

Lady: (forces a smile and walks away)

I think I just broke her spirit.  Oh well, another one bites the sass.)

Anywho, this weather is being really whack.  It's fall/winter, why is it raining?  Whenever I think of December I think of falling on my a$$ because my clumsy-a$$ slipped on ice.  I don't think about umbrellas and muddy hills.  Mother Nature, I will kick you in the face if you don't stop playing with my seasonal emotions!  Aside from the weather, I was conversing with my Mom (love her to death) and she was telling me how proud she is of me.  She also told me that if I don't get the BlackBerry Storm on Christmas, that I'll definitely be getting it before Spring Semester starts.  I am relieved now because (I said) if I didn't see it under the tree on Christmas I was going to throw the Christmas tree across the living room.  I can't wait...just like you can't wait any longer for the quote for today, Dec 11th:

"People usually dislike others that remind them of what they don't like in themselves.  So if someone is sassing you for no reason, tell them: "I know you want to 'if you seek Amy' but I don't have time for your insecurities."

"If You Seek Amy" is one of Britney Spears' songs on her new album "Circus" and if you say "if you seek Amy" really, really slow or listen to the words in the chorus...you'll understand the quote of the day lol.  Also, shout out to Rockstar.  We all hope you're feeling better.  The radio show wasn't the same without you but we had a marvelous time in the studio.  (Shout out to DJ Coffee Black for holding it down with me and to DJ RC & DJ Sexual Chocolate for keeping it real on air.)

I can't wait to get my BlackBerry Storm because I'll be so on the ball, like Elle Woods (after Warner sassed her at the party she was tricked into believing was a costume party).  When I get the BlackBerry Storm I'll be..

.Elle Anderson.  

I love my life lol.  Anywho, I wish you all eternal happiness and the greatest luck on your finals.

Stay true pretties.

Peace, love & Obama, 

Gabriel Anderson

I'm A Beautiful Pampers Baby, Bi$%h!

So for the past few days the stress of finals (well in my case final papers and projects) have made me doubt myself.  This is weird because I'm the most positive person in the world.  But then I started thinking about a story Mommy told me one day and it made me feel better. It goes like this...

One day we were in a waiting room for an acting audition (which we later found out was a scam, good thing I have a smart Mommy) and I was nervous while waiting to be called in so Mommy wanted to make me feel better.  She revealed to me a secret.  She said:

"You know when you were little Gabriel, everyone would always compliment you on your cuteness.  You were a gorgeous baby.  Well one day we were somewhere, I can't remember, and this agent came up to me and offered you a Pampers deal.  It sounded so perfect but he said afterwards, even after you left his agency, he would always have a 30% cut.  I respectfully declined his offer."

(I mean look at how beautiful I was as a child lmao...jk.)

I was so mad lol.  I could be dodging the paparazzi right now.  But I guess Mommy knows that I'll become famous on my own.  It'll happen soon, I can feel it.  But now whenever I'm down, I know that people saw potential in me when I wasn't even aware of fame, so I say: "I'm a beautiful Pampers baby!"  (Say it with me!)  "I'M A BEAUTIFUL PAMPERS BABY!"  You're so sexy and you know it, aow!  

I've been watching the Simple Life Season 2 on DVD for the last two days and I am in love with Paris and Nicole again.  I love when they sing "sada-saaaaaah, sada-saaaah." (Woooohuh, I am so tired now.)  I wanted to do homework tonight but my head feels heavy.  It's so big lol.  Anywho, let's get to the quote of the day for Dec 10th:

"Try something different today because life is about experience.  The more experience you have, the more knowledge you possess.  With that knowledge you'll be able to navigate through your dreams and you'll soon find yourself where you want to be."

With that being said, I love you all and I wish you eternal happiness.  Stay true pretties.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Some (Un)Needed Changes

Well hello there beautiful.  I know things are well because if you think positive thoughts, positive things will blossom in your life.  Today some things need to be addressed, besides the fact that the U.S. needs to develop a more efficient method of monitoring the U.S./Mexico border.  (Sorry I was in the library writing a paper on that topic for like 5 hours lol).  I need to bring forth the issue of people making themselves doormats.

Here are the signs of being a doormat:

1) Are you a person that'll take sh$% from someone and not mention a thing to them?

2) After taking sh$% from that person do you bitch about it to your friends, still without mentionting it to the sasster?

3) Do you bottle your emotions then explode in an unproductive manner without warning?

Well if you possess these three symptoms (sorry pretty) you are a doormat. 

Usually doormats are the nicest people but they just don't like confrontation because it makes them uncomfortable.  But guess what doormats?  Your make your friends very uncomfortable when you explode without warning or when you bitch about someone, without bitching at the right person.  Love yourself enough to stick up for yourself.  Take charge of your life and stop letting people dictate yours.

Another thing that needs to addressed is the fact that HawkCard.com no longer takes Visa and...they are now charging a 2.75% convenience fee for every transaction!  WTF?  We are all broke college students and that 2.75% convenience fee might summon the deadly overdraft fee that Bank of America is fond of distributing.  (If you don't have Bank of America, you're a lucky son of a squirrel.  If you do have Bank of America, may God bless your checkbook.)  

This change pisses me off because I only have Visa and now if I want to do laundry I'm going to have to go to the office (on the other side of campus) and manually fill up on Hawk Cash.  (For those unaware of Hawk Cash, it is the campus-currency, equivalent to cash and its accepted basically everywhere on campus and at neighboring establishments.)  It sucks because the office is only available on weekdays and it's not open 24/7.  My school is slowly transforming into The University of Doucheford.  I love my school though, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Anywho, I was at the library today and I caught my reflection in the mirror and I noticed some back-fat.  It is time to hit the gym again.  I don't know how my back-fat came into existence but it's not staying.  I'm going to do some hardcore regiments over Winter Break; hopefully I'll come back a new Gabriel. No...I will come back a new Gabriel (positive thinking).  Also, I was interviewed by my suitemate Josh today about what's bothering me (for his sociology course) and it really opened me up.  I finally saw that talking to someone else about your dreams and issues helps a lot.  I might go see the psychiatrists on campus.  I mean it's free and after college you  have to pay thousands for the same service.  I love talking about myself so why not, right?  I'm going to start going next semester and I guess I'll share my sessions with you as well.

With that being said, let's get to the quote of the day for Dec 9th:

"If you do not address a pestering issue, it will fester and consume your life.  Rid yourself of a problem as soon as you can because there's nothing worse than a wasted moment."

It's getting late pretties and I need to start going to bed earlier so I can sleep in more.  Don't let the sass get you down.  Stay true kids.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Microsass Marathon

This weekend has been an experience.  From freshmen girls nearly dying, to Red Cross sassing me, this weekend has tested my endurance.  I'm usually stressing out about how busy I am but whenever I'm not stressing about something, I don't know what to do with myself.  Today I just slept until noon, went to brunch with my (freshman) son Dante, napped and then started a movie marathon.  I watched: 

"Tropic Thunder,"

 "Old School,"

 

and I'm toward the end of "The Virgin Suicides."

All three movies are great.  However "The Virgin Suicides" is the artiest.  It's so deep, filled with beautiful fantasies, riveting themes and (sometimes) inappropriate humor.  Not to mention Kirsten Dunst isn't a good girl (at all) in this movie.  It's pretty much the epitome of the teenage mind...(of course) minus the five suicides that occur in the movie.

Anywho, recently my computer has been acting up so I decided to delete recently downloaded programs that I haven't been using.  One of them happened to be Microsoft Office Professional 2007 (Trail).  I downloaded this (even though I already had Microsoft Office Home 2007 Edition) because Microsoft Office Professional 2007 (Trail) has a program I needed to design a brochure, Microsoft Publisher.  Anyway, long story short when I uninstalled the Microsoft Professional 2007 (Trial) and it somehow uninstalled all of my Microsoft programs.  Quickly thinking I called my friend Angela, who lives off campus and happened to have the Microsoft Office Home 2007 CD.  Being the beautiful person that she is Angela came onto campus and gave me the CD.  We chatted it up for a bit about the old times...we used to be the "bestest" of best friends.  I still love and treasure our friendship.

(I just popped in "The Fast and the Furious,"

 woooooohuh!  A new one is coming out and I can't wait.  I loved the last two and when I saw the preview for the third...my nipples got hard lol.  It was hysterical.)  Anywho, let's get to the quote of the day for Dec 8th:

"If you know you've done the right thing and the world has turned it's back on you, smile.  Karma is a thirsty wolf and supper will be served in your benefit.  Good always prevails, if you believe it."

With that being said I'm gonna finish watching "The Fast and the Furious," so my dreams can leave tread-marks for my waking self to follow.  Stay true pretties.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Question 35 (Sass Update #5)

Okay I have a couple bones to pick with the world today.  I hope you all are doing well (by the way) because I'm about to rip the world a new one.  

A few days ago two of my friends (Sarah and Larissa) and I planned to go Christmas shopping on (this past) Friday, Dec 5th.  I was excited.  I love shopping, as you may already know!  So Friday comes along and I happen to get to our meeting place a little early.  It so happens that our meeting place (where our school market is housed) was hosting the Red Cross' Blood Drive.  I texted my friends: "I want to donate blood before we go.  It's for a good cause and I've never done it before." Ergo, I go and it looks like a different world at the market; there are stretchers with black coverings in the middle of the room, a snack table in the corner, rows of "waiting chairs" in the middle of the room, cornered-off "interview stations" and a desk (next to the main entrance) where two very friendly ladies greeted those coming in.  I let the very friendly ladies know that I'm a walk-in and they greet me whole-heartedly, showing me the way to the "waiting chairs," so I could fill out some paperwork.  Everything is fine and dandy.

Moments later a dude in a crisp, white smock brings me over into one of the "interview stations" to screen me before the blood donation.  He immediately begins asking me questions, back-to-back without many taking breaths....this dude was on a roll.  The questions pretty much invaded my life, asking about drug use and health conditions, which is understandable since my blood would be in someone else shortly.  But sh&t hit the fan real quick.

We get to Question 35 and he asks:

"From 1977 to the present, have you had any form of sexual contact with another male?"

Of course I answer "Yes," being that I'm an honest person.  He looks me dead in the eyes and asks "really?" like he's never seen a man like me before.  I nod my head.  The dude takes a deep breath and says "due to your lifestyle (blah-blah-blah), we cannot take your blood."  I was floored.  He goes into this spiel about how gay men cannot donate blood because of the Red Cross' archaic methods of blood screening.  The proper term he used was "I'm deferred from donation."  (I am pissed off again just thinking about it).  

I find it very insulting that my blood isn't worthy to be donated to helping someone's life.  I'm sorry that I enjoy alternative pleasures.  This is a serious issue and I had no idea Red Cross was so fu%&ed up!  I hate them so much right now.  It is ridiculous that (no offense) lesbians and heterosexuals can donate blood, knowing that they are equally susceptible to catching HIV and AIDS.  Red Cross can suck my deferred d%ck! (I'm over it.)  Excuse me for the language but that's not fair.

Anywho, later in the night I was invited to this party on campus...and apparently everyone else in the world was too.  Tons of people were there and just about everyone was inebriated.  It was awesome though.  Everyone was dancing, drinking and having a great time.  Just about everyone knew their limit, except for this one freshman girl who got the party shut down.  When I say this girl was stupidly-drunk, I mean she was passed out on the lawn, in the freezing cold, totally immobile; she was oblivious to the world.  Her friends are not friends, I'll just say that.  If you're really friends with someone you don't let them get so drunk that they can't even carry themselves home.  

I understand "freshman girl" that you were like "woooo, I'm at an upperclassmen party and I think I'm so cool," but you need to know your limit.  You need to have the decency to take your safety into consideration.  No one wants to babysit you so grow up!  Who in their right mind let's themselves drink so much that they can't even sit upright on a couch?  Get your life together.  Also, to her friends who were at the party (I do not give a bat's wing if you're reading this and are getting offended) you guys really need to look at yourselves in the mirror and ask yourselves "why do I suck at life?"  That is your friend and you just watched her without stepping in to help.  How do you live with yourself?  Be human enough to care for someone else over your "need" to fit in at a party.  You are disgustingly disappointing.

Woooooohuh, I'm sorry.  I really needed to get that off my chest.  

With that being said let's get to the quote of the day, Dec 6th:

"Learn to love yourself because you are the source of your happiness.  Accept everything about yourself because you're beautiful.  When you get to know yourself you will fulfill self-love and you'll then be able to show the world your worth."

This week has been a blast and I'm not going to let the flavor of my blood stop me from being Gabriel.  Don't let the sass get you down.  Stay true kids.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

No Sass Left Behind

Today was a very good day.  (I was about to type "today" again because it was such a beautiful day lol).  I wasn't sassed today; I repeat, I was NOT sassed today.  What is the world coming to?!  First the economy, then our school's late night market ran out of pickle spears, and now the sass-fountain has a drought; wtf?!  Anywho, the Men's Basketball team won tonight...aow-aow!  Go boys!  In addition, I found out that I'm getting paid for my secret job on campus soon...woohoo!  Also, one of my professors told my class that he's going to cancel our final "on account that we did so well on our papers."  (I love my life, if you haven't noticed lol.)  

I wish all my professors did that because that would be delightful.  And don't give me some lame excuse like "you won't know if you learned anything this semester Gabriel."  Screw that noise!  With that time off I could learn how to drive.  I really need to get on that by the way.  What if I need to make an emergency run to Nordstrom for a sale or to the GoldRoc Diner for a greek omelet (mmm, a Greek omelet sounds so good right now).  As random as it sounds I'm watching  "Baby Mama" right now and regardless how many times I've seen it, my laughs are still fresh.

Anywho, it seems as though everyone around me is in a sour mood.  Not like a sassy mood but a sour mood, sour like sour skittles dipped in sugar and fried in diabetes...and then smeared in unicorn feces.  I think people are catching fukmylifeasitis, a condition in which college students are susceptible around finals week.  Fortunately enough I've never contracted this horrible condition.  The cure is to stay positive and do your work.  Everyone who has caught fukmylifeasitis...get over it.  Stop wallowing in your stress and take your life into your hands.  

With that being said let's get to the quote for Dec 5th:

"Easy is only as you make it.  Things become difficult only when you doubt yourself.  You are the s@it, so take a big whiff."

The secret to life lies within the belief of yourself.  If you get that down the universe will have your back, that's it.  So get over your case of fukmylifeasitis and live your life.  I wish you all eternal happiness.  Stay true.

Peace, love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Dye Happy (Sass Update #4)

Beautiful...that's you.  So guys, when I was in New York over Thanksgiving Break I slept most of it away.  It felt so good engrossing myself in slumber; wrapping myself around covers sounded better than a waking life.  Consequently, I never scheduled anything with my barber.  So to make it look like I cared, I dyed my hair.  When seeing my hair people keep asking "did you dye your hair?" and I usually respond:

"No.  I'm biracial and whenever my hair grows past a certain point my roots (pun intended) start to change color.  I call it 'Obama Blonde.'"

(It looks natural.)

(Okay, now it looks like I'm glowing lol).

I think it's adorable when people notice a change in your life.  My natural hair color is a dark chestnut brown, it's beautiful in the sunlight.  Some people actually believe me when I say I'm naturally 'Obama Blonde.'  It's hilarious.  Dye aside, my life is beautiful.  I love my life.  I can honestly see myself (gradually) becoming famous.

In other events, my radio show last night went really well.  Unfortunately my regular co-DJ Rockstar couldn't make it due to a condition so my friend Larissa a.k.a. DJ NKOTB filled in.  We had such a blast on air last night.  It was fantabulous.  But what's really fantabulous is the sass I got yesterday while waiting in line for a wrap.

I was conversing with my spectacular friends in line, that I haven't seen since we left for Thanksgiving Break, and I happened to be facing sideways, not facing toward the deli counter.  So this ignoramus sneaks in front of me and the first thing that happened was I immediately screamed "DICK" because that was such a dick-move.  He turned around, averting my eyes and I glared at him.  No one else saw this skip but his friends, who he kept looking back at, did.  I don't think he knew that I noticed him skip me but he was making it so obvious that he did.  It was funny that he thought he'd pulled a trick on a trickster.  I let him stay there because God wasn't so kind to his face and I'm sure he hadn't gotten laid in weeks.  Plus the dude smelled like he was majoring in Hobo, with a minor in Janitor.  Sometimes you feel bad for people like that because when you see their face, you see their future.  I say to the ignoramus that skipped me in line yesterday (I doubt reading is a skill of yours) "you're in the doghouse b%t*h."

With that being said let's get to the quote of the day (Dec 4th):

"Never underestimate the power of friendship.  Friends are living reminders that you're a valuable asset to the world.  Make sure to spend time with all your friends because they love you...and guess what?  You deserve it!"

Anywho, it's been fun blogging today.  Oh yeah, sorry about how late this post is today.  Last night was long and I pretty much crashed when I got in my room.  I believe it's better to be late than absent.  On that note, I wish you all eternal happiness.  Stay true.

Peace love & Obama,

Gabriel Anderson

Yada-Da

OMG, I'm so tired.  I know I'm tired because I've been on life support (a.k.a. caffeine pills) all day.  I woke up popped some, took some for my midday-crash and now I'm dying from fatigue.  Oh the post is called "yada-da" because over Thanksgiving Break, when I was at my friend Mitch's house, (where I posted the entry "Thanks for giving blood") we watched these tivo-ed episodes of Jerry Springer.  In this one episode this prostitute would say "yada-da" at the end of her sentences and I would laugh so hard because she would put her all into that peculiar phrase.  She was saying stuff like:

"Sit down bi%ch.  Yada-da! Yada-da!"

and

"You ain't sh#t hoe.  You will always be number #2. Yada-da!"

I was in tears from laughter.  Also I've recently (like an hour ago, that's how recent) became obsessed with the site faceinhole.com, check this one out:

Create your own FACEinHOLE

(Isn't that so cool?)

I'm my own family of crazies lol.  We are all a family even though we're different colors of the rainbow.  I am so tired guys.  I've been awake since 9 am and I didn't take a nap today.  Let's get to the quote of the day for Dec 3rd before I pass out on my laptop:

"You cannot fight your emotions and win.  Never give up on what your heart tells you because that's the only part of your conscience that isn't clouded with biases."

With that being said, I wish you all eternal happiness.  Live sass-free!  Stay true.

Lately,

Gabriel Anderson

I just wanted to share this with you.  I had a blast with this.

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Practice what you blog

I believe I did a no-no.  Yesterday I posted the quote about procrastination and here I am procrastinating.  I just completed two out of my three assignments that are due tomorrow.  It's 12:54 am and I'm still doing work.  I don't really think it's my fault though.  It's my mother's fault.  I'm always procrastinating.  (I mean look at what time I blog lol).  I think I wait to the last minute to do everything because I was born during the last 10 minutes on August 19th.  

I was born at 11:51pm on August 19th, 1988.  So technically it's my mother's whispering eye's fault (go look up "whispering eye") for pushing me out at the last minute.  But I'm not waiting to the last minute to plan my 21st birthday.  I've been planning it for almost two years now.  It's going to be called "The Sexy 7: 21 on the 21st."  (August 19th falls on a Wednesday next year so my friend Monica suggested Friday the 21st instead.  Unfortunately, she won't be of age to party with us.  There's always your b'day Monica!)  It's called the Sexy 7 because only seven people are going to be in VIP with me the entire night.  Others can come...but they have to join us later.  Anywho, my 21st birthday will go as follows:

from 6pm-8pm there will be a backyard reception with body sushi models:

following that we'll aboard my party bus (that we'll have for the entire night)

to go to a chic NYC bar.

After we get tired of the bar scene, we'll head to a hot club, where the Sexy 7 will be in VIP with  me...

and everyone else can join us at the club, just not in VIP lol.  (Don't worry, I'll come down and party with you guys.)

Isn't that such a beautiful night?  I love my life.  And you should love yours too.  With being said, let's get to the quote of the day for Dec 2nd:

"When you find yourself in a rut remove yourself from the situation to alleviate your stress.  Do something that makes you happy and positive vibes will push the negativity out of your life.  When you feel like yourself again take a deep breath and proceed with living your gorgeous life."

Those are the instructions for a happy life.  The secret to life is surround yourself with things and people that make you happy.  I wish you all eternal happiness and a wonderful night.  I have to get back to procrastinating lol.  Stay true.  

Lately,

Gabriel Anderson