Monday, June 18, 2012

Simply Smitten

Evening duckies.  I hope all is well on your end.  Things have been just magical for me.  Nothing has changed really...except that I have a SummerBoy.  Yes, Antonio finally seems to be coming around and confessed that he just wants one person to himself.
He's just the cutest and he's so entertaining.  We pretty much spent the majority of the week with each other and didn't get tired of each other.  We sometimes would see each other more than once a day.  I like this kid, like I can see him staying around for awhile and I'm not ashamed to say it.
One of my friends told me that talking about a "fresh relationship," regardless of what your intentions are, jinxes it...but I don't care about that superstitious shit LOL.  To think negatively about a situation based on an old wives' tale is frivolous.  I believe sharing our feelings is pertinent to being human.  Yes, I am sharing it with basically the entire world (I wish I had that many page views LOL) but I'm doing it in a very human way.  For those reading this now, I consider you a dear friend because not only am I dishing out private details of my life, I try to use them as examples of the human struggle. 
Oh my God! This might be a little early for the post but I'm ready for some "Words Of Wisdom."

"Nothing in this world is perfect but it's through the use of our imperfections that we truly see and appreciate the beauty in the world.  Fall in love with the atypical.  Kick boring out of your life and get a little spicy."

I haven't told Antonio that I've blogged about him and I don't know how I would feel if he found out.  So from now on I'm only going to share things that are really important or vital to the growth (or demise) of a relationship.  

The thing is we're not even dating.  I've just been seeing him for less than two weeks and he's left quite an impression.  I just hope everything goes well and that Antonio becomes more than just a SummerBoy...that's all I really want.

Anywho, the most embarrassing thing happened to me today.  I was at CVS today. I went there to by myself some enemas. 

Before you even judge me, hear me out.  As a gay male bottom I am obligated to have my "rear entrance" clear of all traffic whenever I plan on having fun back there.  In order to do this I have to buy enemas or saline magnesium laxatives.  I am a special case because I'm lactose intolerant and my favorite foods are rich in lactose/dairy.  Ergo, if I were to take any deliveries to the "rear entrance" before ridding myself of all the traffic...
You get the picture? LOL, I know pretty graphic but you caught my drift. Let's get back to the story.

To make the trip the least embarrassing I make sure to go to self-checkout and hold the box a certain way so no one can spot the items in my hand, when walking through the aisles.  I was buying a double-pack so I have to double my ninja hand concealment techniques.
I was inserting my coins to finalize my purchase and all of a sudden the last few coins got stuck.  I tried punching and shaking the machine to clear the jam, but "Hulking" it wasn't working.
I had to get the manager called over a few times before he finally came over to dismantle the machine.  Before he came over two employees came over to try and help and didn't have the key...but they did have enough time to look in my bag to see the big emboldened letters reading "CVS READY-TO-USE ENEMAS: DOUBLE-PACK."  (I do recommend the CVS brand over Fleet because Fleet makes your day about the bathroom and only the bathroom.)  But talk about embarrassing!  A 23 year-old man buying a double-pack of enemas and his coins get stuck in the machine and he needs assistance from the manager because he's holding up the lines.
I find it ironic that I was trying to buy something that would "clear traffic" when I was literally causing traffic in the store.

I was thinking about writing a book sometime in the near future.  I feel like it would be a best-seller because there are some things I haven't even told my soulmates or family.  Life isn't always pretty and I've seen and experienced some dirty things.  I think it's time to let everyone know that life goes on and beauty prospers.  Plus I have all the time in the world now being all unemployed and everything.  I mean J.K. Rowling was homeless and now she's a billionaire.
The only thing that frightens me about writing this book and getting it published is the reaction from my family.  I am not financially independent yet and if this book doesn't do well I might have to shack up in a shelter LOL.  You know what?!  Life is all about taking risks.  Jump into dark waters and if something eats you alive, at least you knew you had the courage to do it.
My precious show "Teen Wolf" is coming on soon so let me share with you a word that I've been using for awhile now.  Let's get to this week's "Word of the Week."

Glee (adjective): To describe someone as effeminate or slang for someone who is gay.
OR
Gleeginator (noun): Someone so homosexual that he/she had to be the original gays of the universe.

Example: (glee) "Carol's son is such a fan of Broadway show tunes.  He sure is awfully glee.
Example: (gleeginator) "Why is everyone so surprised that Ricky Martin is gay?  Did you not see his wardrobe?  He paved the way for the gays; he's a true gleeginator!

Okay loves, it's time for me to go.  Make sure to check out "Teen Wolf" on MTV, Mondays at 10PM (EST).
I love you for reading.

Stay Sassy.
-Gabriel Anderson

Sunday, June 17, 2012

SummerBoy, Thou Art Here!

Duckies. My, oh my. I have stumbled onto a treasure.  You know Antonio?  The boy I've been trying to have as a SummerBoy?
Well I think we're in this weird, spontaneous, passionate, funny, kind of "relationship."  We've hung out pretty much all of this past week; have you noticed my lack of postings this week? LOL

Sometimes we fool around and sometimes we just enjoy each other's company.  I even slept over last night and we cuddled, falling asleep in each other's arms.  Kind of romantic...but OMG!  Have you ever seriously intertwined your body with someone else's, for hours?  It gets so painful after about 6 hours.
You're pretty much laying on each other's arms and after 6 hours you both let all your weight on each other.  LOL, it's sexy and stimulating to say the least.

My dad had a surprise party this weekend.  It was cool.  The food could have been a little better but I had a great time.  My dad was so surprised.  You could tell because his hyperhidrosis was at work.
Hyperhidrosis is a disorder where the person has uncontrollable and excessive sweating.  It happens mainly when experiencing a strong emotion.  But if the person with hyperhidrosis is doing something strenuous, get some buckets: it's going to be tidal.  And lucky enough that's another beautiful gift my father's genes have passed down to my sister and I.

A couple minutes after my dad was shocked to see all of about 40 of us in one room, you could see him smiling and sweating profusely.  But only those with hyperhidrosis and overactive sweat glands were able to notice his sweat.  It was only in one place.  If you looked at the back of his head, when the light was right, you could see the back of his head shine as if he had just gotten out of a pool.  It was like an amber bowling bowl.

Other than that nothing much has been going on.  I saw Antonio today and I might see him again tonight. I'm loving where I am right now.  Regardless of being unemployed and out of shape, I still feel beautiful and happy.  I am not happy with my situation of being unemployed but I find happiness in my life everyday.  I believe if you aren't happy with something in your life, at least once a day, you're missing out on life.

Let's get into some "Words of Wisdom." I'm feeling it.

"Every day should be a day of happiness.  If it isn't, take yourself out of whatever drag of a situation you're in  and sprinkle some joy into your life.  Think about something beautiful and let it carry you through the day."

Well loves my beloved "True Blood" comes on very soon, so I must be getting to it.  Shit's going down! I'll see you lovers tomorrow!
I love you for reading.

Stay Sassy.
-Gabriel Anderson

Monday, June 11, 2012

Mr. Sassy Pants

Duckies, I come to you today to declare the increase in my overall sassiness.  I put it on my Vision Board--to become sassier--and I already see it manifesting inside of me.  It's not an evil streak that thrives off of the pain and scrutiny of others, but more of a "I'm-not-gonna-put-up-with-your-bullshit-anymore" kind of philosophy.
This came about because of some stupid boy. (Not Antonio for Heaven's sake.  We'll talk about him later.)  This boy, we'll call him Rob.  Rob has been through so much in his life, I'm talking about heavy shit that I'm not about to get into because I'm not one for spilling dirty laundry LOL, and he's always crying about it.  I mean legit crying.  I haven't known him that long (maybe a couple weeks) and he thinks we should be a couple.  Mind you, I've never given this boy the impression that I like him: never had sex, never said anything about anything relationship-related.  I felt like I was doing the world a favor by sticking around because everyone "so he says," he leaves him eventually.
I'm sorry but if I'm not your best friend I am not gonna stick around just to hear you complain about your life nonstop, especially since I recently have been cleared by my therapist...meaning I don't have to see her anymore because life is going well for me.
Anywho, so I invite this sap Rob over yesterday and he's all about trying to have sex with me.  I turned him down and he kept trying so I kicked him out.  He calls me today and had the nerve to ask me if he dropped his weekly-unlimited MetroCard somewhere in my house.  I told him "No."  But the answer was really yes.  And I will be going around town all week on the expense of his pathetic ass.
I wanted to share this with you lovely duckies because I have been so physically and mentally drained for my own problems that listening to others' problems really just weighs me down.  I will always be there for any of my real friends because I know they would be there for me, but if you're some pushy guy who cries over everything...please fcuk off.  Thank you.

Sorry for that colorful introduction to this post.  I had to let that out.

Duckies, this past weekend was superb.  As you know Saturday was our hookah night and it was so much fun.  We smoked this Apple Mint flavored tobacco in the hookah and it was delicious.  But the thing about hookah I find most time-consuming is the process of refilling the tobacco and lighting the coal.  I didn't really trust anyone else to do it because when they did they either packed the tobacco too tight or something would fall on the table.  So for the majority of the night I felt like I was a favored servant to Princess Jasmine and her company.
My mother made this Mango Lemonade Tequila punch, with TWO full bottles of this exotic Tequila!  The crazy thing was none of us tasted the alcohol.  Of course not until it was nearly 1AM and we were all laughing, sweating, and pretty much slurring through the rest of the night.  The cuisine of the night included lamb kabobs (juicy lamb on a skewer), rosemary baked chicken, white rice with some Mediterranean dipping sauce drizzled on it, and grilled asparagus.  It was simply marvelous.
Oh!  Remember the friend I was talking about who was all about PDA when I came around she and her boyfriend?  Well I invited her over for hookah night and she and I had a talk.  I let her know exactly how I felt and she kind of knew I was feeling this way because she felt something different about my energy.  I have to give it to her though.  She has been making efforts to see me and juggle both me and her boyfriend.  I just have to let her ride this relationship out and just remember that our love will never die.

Anywho, at about 1:30AM I was nearly "hookah-ed" out so my friend and I wanted to smoke some good stuff, if ya know what I mean.
I thought we were going to smoke at her house..but then she takes me to this shabby brownstone, where I was sure that I was going to take some critters back home with me if I wasn't careful.
(Chica, if you're reading this don't ever take me back there.  No buneo.)
So I'm sitting on the brownstone steps outside and before we can even roll up my friend comes out of the building in a ruckus, saying that some girl is trying to blame her for calling drunk.  We'll call the drunk/blaming girl Trashina: she was trashy.  Immediately after my friend comes out Trashina comes out screaming:
"Oh no.  I don't even know this girl and she's saying I'm drunk. Nah, forreal yo.  I was talking to my mans."
(Yes, I was in the true ghetto that night.)
My friend was the bigger person in the situation because she walked away from the girl even when Trashina was still talking shit.  But no one saw that but me.  I had my friend's back telling her she was being the bigger person but everyone else was trying to calm my friend down and not Trashina which I thought was extremely unfair, rude even.
But after about an hour or so the situation was diffused and all was well.  The sad thing about this little altercation was my friend's boyfriend was there...and he didn't have my friend's back. Hmmmm....but who did?
Moving along, Sunday was magnificent, if by magnificent you mean waking to a weak body and a pounding headache.
It wasn't until about 5PM that my brain was able to function properly.  (But then again I did get home around 7AM.)  After recovering from the abyss we call "The Hungover Games" someone texted me and asked if I wanted to come over.  No one other than the sexy Antonio!
Two times in the span of five days, sounds like someone likes what I can do.  Even though I did go over there just for sex I do enjoy being in his company.  And afterward he still invited me to come over again so I wouldn't have to "come over just to fuck."  Is Antonio coming around?  Are my seductive powers working and transforming him into a SummerBoy?  Who knows?  Only time and my blog will tell, LOL.

Today I didn't really do anything.  I spent some time with my father: nothing spectacular.  I smoked some hookah before I went to the gym, which has now become my playground once again.
I'm regaining my stamina after only three days back in the gym and I feel wonderful.  I was running around the gym doing so many things today.  I did the elliptical for 30 minutes, cycling/spin machine for about 8 minutes (resistance 10), butterfly curl 25 reps (2 sets), and leg press 25 reps (2 sets).  I'm gonna be so fit that my turds are gonna have abs.
I invited Elle over to hookah night as well and before everyone got there she and I played the Random Question game and I really want to share some things that I discovered about myself.  Also my friend Tracie made a 25 Random things note on FaceBook and it inspired me to do this.  So here's a list of 15 random things you may or may not know about me.

1) I look at everyone's crotch first, before their face. (Including friends and family)
2) My favorite article of clothing is underwear.
3) I'm lactose intolerant and I don't give a shit. I love dairy.
4) I find myself attracted to everyone upon meeting them.
5) "Down With Love" is one of my favorite movies.
6) I've had several girlfriends in the past, but never had sex with any of them...or any girl at that.
7) I don't know how to ride a bike.
8) I don't know how to drive.
9) I know how to swim but it's as graceful as a house cat in water
10) My biggest fear is being stranded in open water.
11) I find myself laughing at things that no one else finds funny all the time.
12) I've never been in a relationship for more than six consecutive months.
13) If I don't have sex at least once a week I become a maniac; nymphomaniac.
14) I don't have any tattoos.
15) I sometimes buy CDs.

Enough about me I think this blog is way overdue for a new "Word of the Week."

Hunk: A person that becomes enraged and Hulk-esque when they are intoxicated.
Ex: "Oh my God, please stop giving Sheila shots because last week her inner Hunk came out and she scratched this random baby's face."
So many good shows are back on and I'm so happy.  "WORKAHOLICS" is back on.
It comes on Tuesdays at 10:30PM (EST) on Comedy Central.
Another Comedy Central show that I cannot get enough of is "Tosh.0"
"Tosh.0" comes on Tuesdays at 10PM (EST) on Comedy Central.
And it's that time of year where the sexy bloodsuckers and supernatural creatures are back...
Season 5 of "True Blood" premiered last night and I was floored. Shit is going down! Check it out on Sundays at 9PM (EST), on HBO.
Oh and I can't forget my guilty pleasure, Teen Wolf.
"Teen Wolf" comes on Mondays at 10PM (EST) on MTV...and speaking of "Teen Wolf" it's about to come on so let me get to some "Words of Wisdom."

"If something you thought to be safe starts giving you doubt about its initial and welcoming stability, run.  Do not push warning away because you want to hold onto the idea of something when the truth is literally biting you in the ass.  You deserve everything you wish for...but make sure your wish really came true."

Okay loves, it's time for me to go and get all sexy for my man Tyler Hoechlin, aka Derek, from "Teen Wolf."

I love you for reading.

Stay Sassy.
-Gabriel Anderson

Friday, June 8, 2012

The Summer of Sexy

Evening duckies.  I hope all is well on your end because I have just been feeling so fabulous recently.  This Vision Board is really doing some great things to my overall energy.  It hangs right above my guest chair in my room and every time I look at it, it makes me smile.  My Vision Board was such a success that my little sister declared her jealousy and went out and bought some poster board to create her own.
I did it first LOL...but I'm glad my goals and arts and crafts inspired her to map out her future as well.  Have I told you guys how much I love her?  She is so divine.  She's only 17 and she's going to be a Sophomore at University of New Haven this September.  (Well she'll be 18 by then, but you get my point.)  Love you Gabriella!

Anywho, last night my friend Mallory and I were talking about something that really hit home for me.  It's being the third wheel.  Before you even say anything I want you to know that I am all for finding love--I mean have you not read my blog?--or intense lust...but don't make it awkward for your friends.
Recently one of my great friends has been so smitten with her boyfriend that I feel like the ultimate third wheel.  It's one thing to have your boyfriend around but to just be all over him when I'm around...it's kind of gross.  It hurts me to say this but I feel like I've become the other man in her life.  Don't get me wrong they are an amazing couple but when you're the only person in the audience it gets mucho awkward.  Love you girl, but let's turn the PDA down from a 35 to a 7.  Thank you.  (I think we'll hang out more when this agonizing honeymoon stage is over.)
The thing is when I have a boyfriend (or person of interest), yes I'm like obsessed with him, but I make sure that he's more like a prized accessory than life support when we're around my friends.  I make an effort not to smother it everyone's faces with a "Hey, look at us. We like the tastes of each other's saliva and we don't care what you think or say about it," kind of attitude.

Aside from that life has been pretty dandy.  Today I woke up around 2pm...yes, I said 2pm (being unemployed has its perks too).  You know what they say, the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Anywho, after waking up in the afternoon my uncle calls me (he lives downstairs in our tricked-out basement) and asks me if I wanted to go to gym and pay off my membership.  Duckies, I don't think you know how much that means to me.  My gym membership had an outstanding balance of $179.93!  Mind you I only have to pay $20 a month for my membership so you can imagine how many payments I missed; eight monthly payments to be exact.  But technically it wasn't my fault.  During my most recent bipolar episode, back August 2011, I took out too much money from the bank and they froze my account.  I don't even think I have an account anymore with Bank of America.  Those dicks...
So we paid my balance and I began to work out like I thought I could last year.
Oh my loving Gaga and extra sharp cheddar cheese!!! 
I used to be a beast in the gym.  My warm-up would be the thirty minute walk to the gym from my house, followed by an hour on the elliptical (with an average speed of 9.0).  After that I would scan the gym for available machines, usually the leg press or butterfly curl.  And then I would go on the cycling/spin machine, with a resistance of 20 for about thirty minutes. After that I would probably call it a day, with so much energy and a heavy surge of endorphins.  
Well today nearly none of that happened.  I mounted the elliptical all cool and sassy.  I found my newly crafted "Slimmin' It" playlist on my iPod and began to workout.  After about 15 minutes on the elliptical I had a stomach cramp, my heart felt like it was about to explode, and I sweating like a house on the night of a tornado.
But I'm a fighter...so I decided to do extra twenty minutes on the elliptical before calling it quits.  Upon leaving the gym I felt so weak and everything was in slow-motion.  I was pretty sure I was about to pass out.  (Did I mention that I forgot to eat before I went to work out?)  To save myself from a heat stroke and face planting in the streets I bought myself an icee from one of those Hispanic vendors that always have like Rainbow, Coco (Coconut), Mango, and other flavors on the cart.  
They usually have only four flavors.  But sometimes they try to get fancy and put two separate flavors in one cooling compartment of their cart, giving them more variety over the rest.  Luckily the sugar gave me enough energy to drag my ass home, right into my bed.
When I got home I felt like I was dreaming, that's how weak I was.  I only did a thirty-five minute work out and an hour walk (if you count going to and leaving from the gym) and I felt like a living zombie. Oh no, I wasn't smoking bath salts. I won't be a part of that statistic.
After I regained my energy via shrimp and chicken dumplings, after a nap, I had to get on my hands and knees and scrub like Annie and Cinderella.
Tomorrow my family and I are having our first hookah night in the house.  And since we're having company over I had to slave away in the kitchen for hours: scrubbing floors, washing garbage cans and polishing them, cleaning out the microwave, scrubbing the refrigerator doors, cleaning the stove, scrubbing the counter tops, sweeping, moving furniture to get all the places my mother's hawk eyes will scout and eventually lead her to bark about, and tons of other things.  Gabriella cleaned the bathroom and the living room...she even shampooed the carpet in there.  Talk about dedication to chores.  But I don't blame her and myself for being so diligent in our cleaning because if we didn't do it our sweet mother would have transformed into this...
So as you see, we did the right thing.  Besides that my day was pretty chill.
Oh! Antonio called me out of the blue today.
I didn't think I'd hear from him so soon.  I saw him this Wednesday.  Unfortunately the call wasn't anything longer than thirty seconds because he had to do something.  He said he'd call me sometime later in the night when he could give me his full attention.  If he does, wonderful.  If he doesn't, there's always other days.  
Is he gonna stay around?  I hope so!  LOL, oh!  Did I tell you he's housesitting for his friend next week and he invited to stay over if I wanted.  I think I left quite an impression.  Or maybe I'm just that good in bed.  Regardless of his motives I'm definitely gonna try and make him my SummerBoy.

Enough with the frivolity.  It's time to get down to some "Words of Wisdom."

"Remember to smile because joy is contagious.  Make strangers into friends and think of a world where fear is obsolete.  Create a life of courtesy, serenity, and happiness for yourself.  Be kind to others and the world will smile back."

I created a similar version of today's "Words of Wisdom" for my Little Little (my protege's protege) in Red Caps (University of Hartford's spectacular Summer Orientation program) to share with as many Red Caps as he could so they would have something inspirational to pep them into the third session of Orientation. (LOOOOOOVE YOU LITTLE LITTLE! I hope you delivered the message.  If not, it doesn't matter.  You got to see it and I still love you.)

Well duckies, this post is coming to an end.  But I have good news.  I've decided that since I have such free time on my hands that I should make my blog daily again, blogging Monday-Friday starting June 11, 2012!
Tell your friends! Follow my blog. (Look at the sidebar it shows you how to become an official follower. It's so easy.) You know you want to. Spread the gospel of Gabriel Anderson's sassy and inspirational adventures.

With that being said, I'll see you guys on Monday with some new sassy stories and tons of love.  
I love you for reading.

Stay Sassy.
-Gabriel Anderson

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Good, The Bad, and The Sassy

Hello duckies. Yes, it's been awhile and I apologize.
  
There's been mucho slack on my part.  But today I'm feeling very productive, hence the blogging LOL.

The most productive thing I've done today is finishing my Vision Board.  For those duckies that are like "what the fcuk is a Vision Board?" I'll let you in on a hidden treasure.  The book "The Secret," by Rhonda Byrne is full ways on how to achieve your goals; I mean everything!  In order to keep yourself on track and to achieve your goals Rhonda suggests creating a Vision Board, which is basically visual reminders of what you want out of life.  It could be goals you want to achieve right now, the distant future, before you die, whenever!  So at this point in my life I just want to get "the show" started already.  I want love.  I want money.  I want to be famous...but I don't want to change myself or compromise my morals for it.  I want to be remembered as a man of my word and a man of serenity.  I want to be the person you can come to spill your guts to, without judgement.  You can cry on my shoulder and you can get snot on it too.  

I am a being of love and I want to let love in.  I want to show the universe how precious I am.  And with that being said here is my Vision Board...


Do you like it? It's full of my dreams. Just by looking at this you are helping me achieve them. Excuse me while I ask the universe to make reality of this board.*

Dear Universe,
This is my formal invitation to let everything on my Vision Board come into my life, but only through my interpretation and what I've specifically asked for; nothing more, nothing less. Well, I love a little improvisation, only the good kind though.  Let's make this happen!
Yours Truly,
Gabriel Anderson

My Vision Board is made up of symbols, metaphors, and face value items.  Welcome to my dreams duckies.

*(As soon as I put this board up I felt a wave of new energy come over me.  And I lie to you not, some of my dear friends that I haven't spoken to/seen in awhile started conversing with me via phone & FaceBook IM. This stuff really works!  If you want tips on how to welcome things into your life via "The Secret" feel free to email me.)

Speaking of dreams my best friend Elle and I are creating a web series soon.
It will be coming out Fall 2012.  The working title we have for it is "Fame & Rainbows." We've already got some footage of us being our crazy selves and some magical moments too.  I'll keep you posted with more news on that.

In more news, I recently applied for New York City's Teaching Fellows Program.  The program gives those who've never taught before the opportunity to teach students in high-need communities and schools.  I thought it sounded like such a good cause so I decided to sign up and try it out.  I made it all the way to the interview and everything.  I won't hear anything back until July or August though, regardless if I get the job or not...that's the part that sucks.  Overall, I think I did fairly well during the entire process.  If I become a teacher I know I'm going to be impressionable and willing to go the extra miles, even if it means spiking my coffee with a 5-hour energy everyday and dedicating my weekends to developing lesson plans.
...probably not my entire weekend because everyone needs a break. It's called a weekEND for a reason.

OMG! Have you guys been hearing about these crazy mofos sniffing/smoking bath salts and going all flesh-eating zombie on people?
Sorry for jumping to an entirely different topic but this is scary.  There have been two related incidents, one in Florida (involving a man named Rudy Eugene) and another (involving a man named Alexander Kinyua) in Maryland...both of them black men. All I have to say is...come on!  Black people were doing so great this year.  Obama's most likely to get re-elected, Hip-Hop Squares is now a show on MTV2, Drake got PUNK'D (and it was hilarious) but then here come the black zombies.  Stop being stupid, put the bath salts down, and eat an animal lower in the food chain.  Dammit. 

I had to let that out.

Okay, back to happy thoughts.

Since it's June I'm currently wading in the waters to find me a SummerBoy.
I would LOOOOOOVE to have a yummy guy like that...but I need to hit the gym LOL.  There's this one guy I think I might wanna make my SummerBoy, but he's already told me he doesn't want anything serious.  But playing around is just fine with me too LOL.  
We had some fun yesterday: you know smoking and sexing.  It was divine!  I don't know if it was the greenery or the rush of sex but I just couldn't function as a proper citizen of life for at least five hours afterward.  His name is...we'll call him Antonio.  He's so cute and I didn't find out how hilarious he was until yesterday.  I was close to tears just listening to him talk and do impressions from his favorite TV shows.  God, I wish he was looking for something serious because I would wrap him up and run for the border, whatever the hell that means LOL.
It's been awhile since I did this so I think The Sass Corner is way overdue for some "Words of Wisdom."

"It is only when you truly love yourself that you can let others into your heart.  Forgive those who have wronged/sassed you in the past and give them a hug.  Remember we're all human.  (But if that skank is a repeat offender, smack them and strut away.)"

Okay my loves, I promise to blog more often.  I think it may become a weekly thing or more daily like it used to be, who knows?  I love you all and thank you for reading.

Stay Sassy.
-Gabriel Anderson