Evil Laughter

How's it going my darling duckies? I hope know everything is smashing on your end.  This past week has been so fun that...I can hardly remember it actually LOL.  I guess I had too much fun partying and laughing.

Speaking of laughing, I saw "EVIL DEAD" this past Thursday with my friend Jessie.  I thought I was gonna be scared shitless after seeing it, like how I was after seeing "Insidious," (which still scares me.)*

*(Even while posting this picture and writing on it I can't look at that demon without shaking.  If you wanna be scared, watch "Insidious.")

Anywho, back to what I was saying...oh right!  

"EVIL DEAD" is probably one of the funniest horror movies I've ever seen.  There were times in the movie where I would be laughing so loud and abruptly that I would have been embarrassed...if I hadn't been buzzed/well-and-tipsy at the time.  (I'll go more into that later.)

OMG! I just invented a Word of the Week on the spot.

Well-and-tipsy aka W.A.T. (prononucned whel-aend-tehp-see): intoxicated on a functional level; buzzed; a little drunk

Example: "Mom get off my back.  I only had like four beers.  I'm just well-and-tipsy."

(Okay back to the movie!)

There was this one line in the movie where I couldn't stop laughing for a good four minutes: I'm not exaggerating in the least.  For those who have seen the movie I'm referring to the part where--I won't give away too much detailing for those who haven't seen it but want to--the brother was looking down and talking to his possessed sister.  One of the lines she said to him was hilarious.  There was a point where I couldn't breathe and I was crying because the line was just that funny.  Reciting it aloud, even now, makes me giggle.  I was laughing for so long that people were laughing at me because I couldn't stop laughing.  I seriously had to compose myself in order to pay attention to the rest of the movie.

Even though there are some very scary and jumpy parts in the movie, I found it to be the funniest (serious) horror movie I've ever seen.  I can't wait to get it on DVD.

To rewind a bit, before Jessie and I went to see "EVIL DEAD" she and I went out to get a bite to eat and to get some drinks.  We stopped at this cute Thai and Asian restaurant called Cafetasia, in Greenwich Village for their wonderful happy hour special.  Jessie and I had been there before, but on separate occasions.  Jessie introduced me to her favorite dish: the Crispy Fillet of Flounder.  Oh my sweet baby Jesus in a onesie!

The fish was so fresh that I swear they just caught it right when I ordered the flounder.  It was so much food too that I couldn't even finish it.  And it was only $12!  In addition to our lovely meal, we had a few drinks and we got this thing called a "Rainbow Shot."

Isn't it so pretty?!

Then after dinner we went to watch "EVIL DEAD."  Then we went to Jessie's house, where our friend Tess met us.  We basically hung out and laughed some more.  I tried showing them Louis C.K.'s comedy stand-up special "Oh My God," but the connection to HBO GO was more like HBO-OH-HELL-NO!

The next day, Friday, I went to work and had a fabulous time as usual.  I had my first same-sex couple and it was an absolute honor to help them.  Having the right to marry the one you love, in the face of oppression and ignorance, is a very brave and empowering act.  I wish you both well and I look forward to having you two come back.

That night my school, University of Hartford, was throwing an event at SideBar down in Union Square in the city; which happens to be less than 10 blocks away from my job.  So I went there and saw so many of my dear friends from school...and made some new ones too.  We drank and chatted about our new lives post-Hartford.  

Oh!  While we were at the bar they were about to catch the second suspect in the Boston marathon bombing and when they found him the bar started screaming and applauding.  Then I knew it was chance to start a chant.  So I immediately put my fist in the air and started chanting: USA! USA! USA!  And I don't know how but everyone in the bar joined in and it was so unifying and hysterical.

(I can now scratch "Start a USA chant" off my bucket list.)

Following the alumni event the gay alumni and I went to this bar/club/lounge called Therapy in Hell's Kitchen.    I had never been there but I loved it because I wanted to dance.  I danced so hard, dipped so low, popped it, backed it up, "salsa-ed," lip-synced, and turned their little stage into a showcase for my stellar dance moves.  I asked the DJ to play "Single Ladies" because I was in rare form that night but he didn't.  As a consolation he played "Get Me Bodied" and I killed that, even though it had been years since my last performance. LOL So full of myself.

When leaving I ran into my friend Alex, which was so random but delightful all at once.  We chatted for a bit but then I had to head home because I had to nurse a hangover in the morning before work.

Other than that nothing much happened.  Now I feel like I'm 60 because thanks to being a dancehall queen at Therapy my legs are incredibly sore.  Walking down stairs is like dying every two seconds.  I can't go down stairs without squeezing the life out of the banister.  And when I walk I'm sure it looks like I'm smuggling diamonds up my asshole.

But I think I've said enough.  I believe it's time for some Words of Wisdom.

"Common courtesy is not as common as you think.  A simple 'please' or 'thank you' can actually lift the spirits of many.  Respect is earned but cordiality should be a given.  Smile at a stranger.  Hold a door for someone behind you.  Give credit where it's due.  You never know who's watching and how far a little deed can take you."

Okay my loves I gotta go eat and then take everything out of my room.  A contractor is coming this week and is putting down new flooring in my room, as well as replacing my door and threshold.  So much! Grrrrr LOL.

I hope you have a magical week.

I love you for reading.

Stay classy.  Stay sassy.

-Gabriel Anderson

Hello Coporate America

First and foremost...

Happy birthday Kevin Blohm! I didn't want you to sass me so I posted this before anything. I wish you the best 20th birthday ever. Also, what you wrote on your Red Cap evaluation sheet still warms my heart. Love you man! This is your day so rape it. (that was dirty lol)

Hello duckies! Today is such a turbulent Tuesday, turbulent in a good way though. My office phone is ringing off the hook, my inbox keeps getting higher and emails keep appearing every minute. But I'm totally fine with that. I'd rather be busy than bored out of my mind. I did sign up for this, this being Corporate America.

As an intern for HarperCollins I get to see the transformation of submissions: either they're returned to sender or they transform into a beautiful, selling manuscripts. Every day is different. There hasn't been a day where I had to do the exact thing over and over again. Everyone here is so friendly too. Maybe because I'm efficient. Plus, just about everyone here has a BlackBerry, so I fit right in lol.
However, Blackbird--my precious BlackBerry Storm--is disconnected once again.


I went home yesterday and asked Gabriella if her phone was disconnected too and she said no. She proved it by calling my phone from hers! The funny/sad thing about it we're all on a family plan and only my phone is off. It's kind of backwards that my phone is disconnected because I'm the one that uses it most. I actually bring my phone everywhere I go and I'm always out the house. It just makes sense to keep mine on. Gabriella just stays home all day: she can use the house phone lol, it still works.
I'm just so over living at home with my family right now. I live in a four-family house and my grandmother owns it...which means even my landlord knows all my business lol. I have privacy--to an extent--but we all know how nosey family members can get. Right after graduation, I know I'll have a decent paying job and I'll move out and be roomies with Graham (aka--follow him on Twitter--@rjjason). Note to Graham: Save your pennies. I want our starter apartment to go down in the books.

In other news, last night I stumbled upon the movie THE KITE RUNNER. I would always surf through channels and see it playing but I would bypass it. I though it would be lame but it is a masterpiece of a film.

The film focuses on the central character, Amir, and his childhood. Amir is a wealthy boy who has a servant named Hassan. When they were kids Amir betrayed Hassan, something quite devilish duckies. As time passes the Soviet Union invades Afghanistan and Amir and his father flee to America. Years pass and Amir becomes an American-Afghan novelist and later discovers that Amir is murdered...but left an orphaned son, Sorhab. That's all I'll share about the movie. Even though it looks like I gave you the entire synopsis, there's a lot more to the movie.

(UPDATE: My dad just called me and said my phone should be on by the time I get home! Yaaaaaaay!)

Anywho, after THE KITE RUNNER I flicked through the channels and stumbled onto SHOWGIRLS. I'm sure you've seen it before but if you haven't seen SHOWGIRLS, you can borrow my DVD lol.

Some people think it's porn. Some people think it sucks. I love this movie!!! It teaches the vital lesson about the cutthroat industry of show business. The moral of the movie is no one is untouchable: even though you earned the job, it doesn't mean you're guaranteed it forever. Also, when in Vegas hold onto the banister, don't trust sexy singers as parties, and watch out for clear pearls on the stage lol. For those who haven't seen it, beware of nudity. Nipples and bush are on the prowl!

Speaking of nipples, I am growing tired of my moobs (man-boobs). They've been around for years and I'm now fed up with them.

Past boyfriends loved them and even implored me not to work on my chest because they had too much fun with them. (I did have a couple of stray boyfriends lmao) But since I'm single and every gay male seems to be a Greek God nowadays I think it's time to rid myself of them. I'm losing weight--due to working so much and cutting back on eating--but all that does is make them bigger. They look bigger because my stomach is going down and my moobs can do nothing but sag, exaggerating their appearance. I wanted to get surgery but since both my TV and the living room TV died around the same time, the procedure is out of the question for awhile. (We're not cheap when it comes to technology.) Hmmmm, looks like I'm gonna have to hit the gym in my basement. The things I do to keep up with the kids!

Speaking of kids, a few weeks back (as a joke) I ordered the video tour DVD of my school (University of Hartford) for Gabriella. She wants to go to Georgetown, like hardcore, but I wanted her to see my school too. We started watching it and I was so taken aback.

This upcoming Fall commences my Senior year in college: it went by so fast. Where the hell have the years gone?! Watching the "candid" students in the DVD tour made me think about all my memories on campus, my first impressions of my school, how I wanted to transfer within a week of me arriving on campus--only because I didn't want to write an essay lol--and all the friends I've made. I had to hold back tears because I started thinking about graduation...ahhhhhhhhh! University of Hartford is my home away from home and in most cases... I feel like it's my real home. I LOVE YOU UHA!!! Woooohuh! Getting all emotional over here.

Okay duckies, let's get to some Words of Wisdom.

"It is selfish and conflicting to love and hate something truly: it leaves you in a constant state of flux. In order to determine your true feelings about something--or someone--evaluate its pros and cons. Determine this by coming to terms of what would benefit your well-being in the long run."
Okay duckies, as much as I love you I have to go and do some work. (Not to mention it's lunch time and all I had today was a cappuccino.)

I wish you the best of happiness. I love you. Stay true, tuned and glamorous!


Live, love & Lady Gaga,
Gabriel Anderson

Taco Gun

Duckies, it has been a loooooooooooooooooong day. I am so drained. I got so much sleep last night; I slept for like nine hours but that didn't help. (Blogging at 3am doesn't help much either lol.) But you know what duckies?! I am not going to let it beat me down.

*

(*I am not the Black Ranger by default. I am a mix between Tommy and Kimberly. I'm Timberly, the Phite Ranger!)

Speaking of Power Rangers , I wish we had them patrolling my campus because OMG...there was a lockdown on campus today.

Today--at approximately 5:20pm--two armed vigilantes (STRANGERS) came onto our campus and held two students at gunpoint.

I'm trying to find an article on the incident and nothing is coming up. It was on primetime news in CT!!! (If you duckies have the link post it in this post's comment section.) For those who were held at gunpoint, I am so sorry that happened. I know one of your personally, through a certain on-campus job, and I am so sorry. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I know it's hard--with this happening and all--but think positive duckie, even when the world feels like it's closing in on you.

OH! We need a new "Phrase of the Week."

This week's is:

WTFIGO?! (pronounced wuht-duh-fee-go; you say it like "What the feego?!") - What the fcuk is going on?!; an internal labyrinth of confusing; total oblivion to your current state of being.

Ex.

"Even though its the first episode of the 'Real World Road Rules Duel 2' I have no idea WTFIGO?!"

Anywho, in regard to the manner of walls closing in on me...I was stuck in a room for nearly a half-an-hour. My artist people-friend Steph and I were tired of all the noise and random people of this social gathering so we decided to go into Steph's room to relax. We were talking about Lady Gaga, art, good news in our lives and current events. I shared some of my poetry with her and she loved it! We're thinking of collaborating our arts soon!

She told me some awesome news about her future, too;congratulations babychild!!! I love when friends tell me wonderful things about their lives. It's just magical.

After the good news Steph and I were interrupted by our friends, banging on the door for us to let them in; they wanted to be A-List too. So Steph and I go to open the door...and it won't budge.

Unfortunately about a week ago someone forgot their cigarettes in Steph's room and trying to be a hero, a friend busted through the door, destroying the lock's functionality. So when we closed the door, not knowing the inside latch--on the actual door--was loose, we jammed it. Whenever we pulled on the door the lock went the opposite way, wedging itself in the door frame, disabling any type of movement.

We were yelling for our friends but they were in the other room conversing. This one girl was really annoying and didn't quote grasp the concept that we were locked-in. When she came to the door she didn't listen to us and she thought we were trying to lock her out.

Memo to you duckies: if I'm cursing at you, I'm being serious. And if my voice gets really calm and deep this means I want you to listen to me and comprehend every word because I usually have a doable solution. Don't be difficult and don't ignore me when I'm telling you to do something that will help us in the long run.

Being claustrophobic, I handled myself extremely well; I was very calm and I was actually helping Steph relax. (I knew it was gonna be alright babychild lol...love you!) What felt like hours later (it was only 30 minutes) the same dude who broke down the door before, did it again to get us out. We were finally free!

I went outside to get some air afterwards--stopping by another social gathering of my people-friends--and then I came back to relax with Steph. By the time I got back she was in her bed and watching episodes of "The Office." The fifth season of the American version of "The Office is hilarious!!!"

After watching the first episode of the fifth season of "The Office" I asked if we could watch HBO's "True Blood" and Steph said okay.

(DUKIES....THE FOLLOWING IMAGE MAY SCARE YOU. THIS IS A WARNING! DON'T SASS ME IF YOU GET SCARED EITHER LOL)

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Steph loves the show. I must admit we were both falling asleep while watching it but Steph suggested we have a Season One Party before the second season comes out. I told her Rockstar loves the series too and she got really excited. I can't wait for our "True Blood" Season One Party!

With the recent news and sass, I think it's time for some "Words of Wisdom."

"It is only how we deal the aftermath of events that we know how prepared we are for the future. Do not let anything stop you from enjoying your life, as long as you aren't doing any harm to others. Believe in yourself and you will prevail."

I forgot to mention that I have a Twitter account now duckies. Click here to follow me. Be like Nike...just do it! Graham actually made the account for me. (Thanks Graham!) He made it for me in the library and this is when I started conversing with Nelson.

Nelson is the fcuking man. He's so level-headed and generous. He had Taco Bell in front of him--which he wasn't touching and didn't open--and I was talking to Graham about how hungry I was. Nelson offered me his Taco Bell!!! At first I didn't accept the offer but my stomach replied "Gabriel, stop being such a proud A-Lister. When you're hungry, you're hungry!" I took Nelson up on his offer after the second time he offered it to me.

Nelson, I am in love with you dude. You're amazing. I haven't had that much time to eat more than one meal a day recently because I'm always on the move. I just want to thank you publicly and I want to share with the world how beautiful you are as a person. Thank you dude and thank you for being you. I might come stop by your library football game tomorrow.

Okay duckies, I need to go to bed lol. I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true.

Live, love & Lady Gaga,

Gabriel Anderson

Dante's Bowling

I'm glad you stopped by duckie. Yes, I know. I've been slacking a bit on posting daily entries. But duckies, the life of a celebrity is never done; you aren't going to be happy until I have to be hospitalized for exhaustion. (That would be so cool by the way. Very A-list!)



On the topic of exhaustion, I am tired of looking for love.



I of all people should know this, since I am an avid believer in "The Secret." It's such a good book. (If you haven't heard, read or owned it...here's the link: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Secret/Rhonda-Byrne/e/9781582701707/?itm=1) Anyway, back to me. Love isn't meant to be found. Love is meant to ravish you when you least expect it. Love is when your emotions rape you of logic and you can't seem to stop smiling whenever you hear your lover's name.

On the other hand, I (think) just like the idea of a boyfriend, to be honest. But when I do "stumble" onto a boyfriend, I want a trophy. I know looks aren't everything (for others) but I don't want anything that will hurt my eyes either.



Speaking of horrible news, my son-son Dante transferred. He's (officially) a non-University of Hartford student. I flipped out on him (so bad) when he delivered the news...because it was two days ago. I was loony like Bridezilla-style. I asked myself why I was being such a d*ck and it all made sense. I love Dante (BROMANCE!) so much that a day without him is a day without complete euphoria.



I love you Dante. I wish you the best in all your endeavors. Even though we were on the phone not that while ago...DON'T BE A STRANGER!

On the topic of friends, Monica, Graham and I made a Wal-Mart trip and I was the self-appointed iPod DJ. I got them onto the newest single by the Ting-Tings, "That's Not My Name."



(Here's the music video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UX0p7uAW2s The Ting Tings are so hot.) The song is so catchy and by the time we reached Wal-Mart we were all jamming, adding our own little sassy ad-libs. It was a blast.

Speaking of blast, the other night several friends and I went bowling. It was the $hit. I only scored 98 (what am I blind?)...but I was in third place. Everyone in the bowling alley stared at us whenever we bowled because we were genuinely cherry and overly enthusiastic, no matter how many pins we knocked down.



It so happens that all of us who went bowling are Red Caps. (orientation student leaders who wear Red Caps and are the best people you'll ever meet. SHOUT OUT TO RED CAPS '08!) We had to tend to Winter Orientation today (for Spring freshmen and transfer students) and it made me miss past summer orientation sessions. Shout out to class of 2012 and transfer students. Welcome to Hartford and the first day of the rest of your life!

In other news, I think someone tried to break into my room. I was washing one of my knives, left in the sink by someone other than myself, and I noticed these weird scratch markings near the tip of the knife. On my way back to my room something tells me to look at my door's lock latch and I see identical markings on the latch that were on my knife!!!



I know someone better cut this $hit out because I will go Sasha Fierce on you, dancing on your face without missing a count of choreography to Beyonce's "Single Ladies." Speaking of my apartment, my mystery suitemate left his rice cooker on the counter, with rice in it...since last semester. For some strange reason, I take off the lid and stuck my fingers into the rice...to be welcomed by sweaty feet-scented, month-old rice!!!



I have no idea why I drove my fingers into the (seemingly-solid) rice. It smelled like a basketball team had an orgy with hot, safari wildebeest lol.

Off to good news, let's get to the quote of the day for Jan 21st:

"Lamps are tools that illuminate a path for people to follow. Instead of following the "lamps" of others light your own path; lead by example."

I'm back in the flow so I'll be able to keep up with the posts. Okay, I'm legit falling asleep. I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true duckies.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson

The End?

Good morning duckies! I can't believe today is the last day of my internship. To go out with a bang, I drank a sugar-free Red Bull instead of my usual Grande Caramel Macchiatto (in a Venti cup). I feel that today is going to be spectacular. There's going to be a pizza lunch/my farewell gathering/mailing session around noon today. I'm so excited!
I had the best time working for HarperCollins. I really don't want to leave but Hartford's calling. I can really see myself working at a place like HarperCollins. Everyone is incredibly nice, there's never a dull moment, I love books, there's free coffee & sometimes free lunch...what more could you ask for?! I would love to work under Daphne and Edie again. Thank you for this beautiful opportunity!



(But it's not hard to rip your pants at work.)

I usually bring my BlackBerry with me (wherever I go) and yesterday I had to go to the bathroom. My pants were kind of tight so my BlackBerry wasn't going to fit in my pants without them ripping. I decided to put my BlackBerry on the ledge of the urinal. Seconds later, my BlackBerry fall off the ledge, sliding underneath a toilet sectional. Luckily I have a hardcore hardcover case for my BlackBerry so it was fine. I tried bending over to get my BlackBerry but it slid out of reach. I go to my knees to stretch as far as I can and...CURSSSSSSHH



my pants rip, right in the crotch seam! WTF? Honestly?! I ran to the closest office and borrowed a stapler and I "resourcefully" solved the problem. Luckily, I was wearing Long John's (eww) so I wasn't scratched on my way home.

In other news Lisa stopped by my office yesterday...

to take a picture for my school's Career Services Newsletter.

Last semester, I had an internship where I was the Student Liaison for Career Services and I had to conduct interviews with students who are advancing their prospective careers, while still in school. Now I'm a Student Success Story, yaaaaay! Thank you HarperCollins; more specifically Edie, Lisa and Daphne. As said in previous posts, Lisa helped me get an internship at HarperCollins. I'm so glad I know her!

Anywho, I'm so glad I have amazing friends. Pete is like this hardcore athlete and I hinted that I wanted him to help me with my "I-can't-look-fat-in-my-21st-birthday-pictures" diet. Being the awesome friend that he is Pete said he'd help me out, like personal trainer kind of help.



My goal is to lose 60lbs (sixty pounds) before my birthday, August 19th. If I lose more that would be incredible. I told my friend Reggie about it and he told me I'm going to look anorexic. Reggie's a model by the way lol. I'm going to go through with this workout regiment because I trust Pete's judgement. He's going to kick my a$$ but it'll all pay off in the end. Thanks Pete!

Last night I saw something so funny/nauseating. On my way home I was falling asleep on the train (as usual) and when I finally opened my eyes, I almost threw up. There was a lady, standing right in front of me, wearing a "ghetto midriff shirt." It was a "ghetto midriff shirt" because it wasn't supposed to look like that.



I don't understand how she was outside like that. Like half of her bulbous stomach was bulging from underneath her Baby Gap shirt. She didn't even look pregnant and if she was that baby was freezing. (Side note) I love it when pregnant women look glamorous, like how Charlotte looked in "Sex in the City: The Movie."


(My apologies if you haven't seen the movie yet.)

Enough with the babble, off to the quote of the day (Jan 16th):

"Starting something is only part of the journey. Being able to work through the drama of a given task and finishing it with poise takes true character. Finish with everyone wanting more."

I started talking to this guy, Valentine, and he's a breath of fresh air. He's so sassy and witty. We're going to see "The Unborn" tonight. Hopefully I won't scare him away when he has to pry my fear-stricken fingers from his arm tonight.



I wish you the best of happiness. Stay true.

Peace, love & Obama,
Gabriel Anderson